


Pasta Donuts

by YouwillRuetheday



Series: Pasta-Verse [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Established Alphys/Undyne, F/M, Fluff, Frisk is child and smol and probably talks but doesn't have dialogue, I WILL ACCEPT PROMPTS, Muffet is nice but still hustles people lmao, NaNoWriMo, Papyrus is still a cinnamon bun, Romance, Sans is protective maybe too protective, Silly, Some parts happen in Underground, anachronistic chapters sometimes, cinnaboy x dark girl, implied current day soriel, implied salphys, maybe is funny????, random AU shenanigans, shipping frenzy, sometimes lyrics show up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-01-09 21:36:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 41,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12284838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouwillRuetheday/pseuds/YouwillRuetheday
Summary: Life on the surface has its flaws and hardships, but love finds a way!Even if that love is between a naive skeleton and a greedy spider.(I'm not good with summaries...)





	1. When they first met

"wow," Sans said as he ate, "who knew deep fried donuts could be so tasty."

"YES, THE EXTRA GREASE CERTAINLY ACCENTS THE SITUATION, DOESN'T IT?" Papyrus chided in a positive tone. He looked down at Frisk, the small human, and looked concerned for a brief moment, "B-BUT THIS IS AN EXCELLENT ESTABLISHMENT FOR A BIRTHDAY PARTY! I THINK TAKING KIDS TO BARS BUILDS CHARACTER!"

"heh, paps," Sans shook his head at his bro. "it's not just a bar. it's a grill _by_."

"OH. MY. GOD." Papyrus shot up from his seat. "HIS NAME IS A PUN!?"

"relax, bro," The shorter brother chuckled. "you can be pretty  _hot_ headed sometimes."

"UGH." Papyrus sat back down in his seat. "IN ANY CASE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRISK!" He pulled out a large present from seemingly nowhere. It was in green wrapping with orange ribbons. "I HAVE A MOST EXCELLENT GIFT FOR YOU, FRISK. TRULY, MY FINEST WORK YET..."

Frisk happily nodded and accepted the gift. Unwrapping it, they pulled out something truly special from the box. It was a small statue of Papyrus, except with huge biceps flexing. They smiled up at Papyrus.

"TRULY, YOU ARE GREAT, FRISK," Papyrus looked a little sullen. "I AM SO SORRY I COULDN'T RETURN YOUR AFFECTIONS THAT ONE TIME WE AGREED TO NEVER SPEAK OF AGAIN. HOWEVER, AS ALWAYS, I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU!" Papyrus stood up suddenly once more and looked incredibly nervous. "ANYWAY! I AM LEAVING! IF YOU NEED ME I'LL BE NOWHERE AT ALL!" With that he jumped out of the restaurant window.

"my bro is quite a catch," Sans mused as he dipped a deep-fried donut into ketchup, causing Frisk to gag a little. Sans munched away at the donut while a familiar spider girl walked up to the table. She wore a brown and orange uniform and held several trays in her hands.

"Ahuhu~ long time no see," Muffet giggled. "I thought I just saw that tall, handsome milkshake here a moment ago."

"it's cool, muffet," Sans waved his bony hand at her. "don't pretend you didn't see him jump out that window. just put that repair on my tab."

"Of course, Sans," Muffet nodded. It seems this wasn't the second time Papyrus had ever ejected himself via window. With a free hand, Muffet plucked a sprinkled donut from a tray and handed it to Frisk with a smile. "Tell him I said hello~ ahuhuhu~" She walked away giggling.

 Frisk gave Sans a perplexed look.

"oh, what was that about?" He chuckled. "well, i'd say its a long story, but since its your birthday and i didn't have time to get ya anything... consider this embarrassing story about my brother to be your gift, kiddo."

Frisk nodded eagerly.

"well... it all started when..."

 

* * *

 

 

my bro paps was out one day, doing a delivery for undyne. ya see, he really wanted to join the royal guard, and she really didn't like having to file paperwork. so after my brother wore her down and convinced her he could be in the royal guard...

"ALRIGHT NERD, JEEZ! I WILL TRAIN YOU! NOW GO HOME AND GET SOME SLEEP!!!" Undyne shouted at the top of her lungs.

"AYE, AYE... CAPTAIN..." Papyrus nodded sleepily at her and collapsed on the spot.

... he started doin' her favors like going to the king's castle and filing away reports about things like music complaints, flexing complaints, and stuff. the first time he ever walked to new home, he got totally lost. my bro is pretty good with directions, but for some reason he just can't seem to wrap his head around hotland or the core. those places are super mystifying to him. as a result, he ended up at- you guessed it. muffet's place.

"THIS TUNNEL SURELY LEADS TO THE KING'S CASTLE. IT SIMPLY MUST!"

huh? what's that, kid? you got to the king through that cave? heh, that is like the off-road way to get to that castle. luckily muffet didn't fight you. what's that look for?

"I AM WALKING INTO THIS TUNNEL NOW, SANS!"

woops. sorry, bro.

"IT'S ALRIGHT, SANS... IT CAN'T BE EASY TO NARRATE A STORY AS GRAND AS THIS!"

you said it bro. anyway, like i was saying: he walks into muffet's place. its pretty dark in there, so he can't see that well. he walks and walks, but as he starts walking slower and slower - yeah, exactly. he keeps walking, and gets caught in muffet's web... in more ways than one.

"Ahuhu~ Dearie, welcome to my parlor," muffet said to him. papyrus stopped being able to move right about the time she descended from the ceiling. "You look awfully thirsty, wouldn't you like to have a nice drink?"

"E-ER, YES," papyrus said completely cool. cool as a cucumber. "I-I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A DRINK. ER, I SEEM TO BE ALL TIED UP AT THE MOMENT?"

"Aw, my sweeties took a liking to you, they like... your taste in fashion?" muffet was probably talking about my bro's clothes. before he had that battle body, he mostly just wore sweaters and stuff. mostly stuff from the dump.

"THANK YOU, SPIDERS," papyrus nodded to the small spiders that crowded around his feet. "I CAN TELL EVERYONE IN HERE APPRECIATES GREATNESS."

"Ahuhu~ that's right, we do... We hope you will stay with us for a light snack?"

"OF COURSE! IT WOULD BE RUDE OF ME TO REFUSE!"

papyrus accepted the spider's offer. she fed him her cheap donuts and spider cider. he usually doesn't like sweets, but muffet was so nice to him he felt like he couldn't refuse. you know how my bro is. he told me before that they were like nothing he ever tasted. they were...

completely disgusting.

"O-OH, H-HOW WONDERFUL... THEY TASTE SO GOOD THAT I MIGHT THROW UP!" 

"Really~? No one's ever complimented my cooking before... I'll give you a discount, dearie~ ahuhu~"

"D-DISCOUNT?"

you see, paps fell into muffet's web, heh. she caught lone travelers looking to avoid midday traffic and tricked them into paying for her donuts. something about freeing the spiders left behind in the ruins? anyway, she was doing a bait and switch operation. tricking people into becoming customers, and as you could guess most people ponied up the cash. however...

"LOOK, MISS SPIDER LADY PERSON-"

"You can call me Muffet, dearie."

"MISS MUFFET, I CAN'T PAY YOU ANYTHING-"

"Oh?" muffet got right in paps face and tried to be scary and wily. "Why is that, skeleton?"

"I-I... I LEFT MY WALLET IN MY OTHER PANTS!"

i have no idea why paps lied to her, but he did. truth was, we had no money. i could barely afford to pay our rent. but he lied to muffet anyway. she had her spiderlings check his pockets and found his wallet. he didn't notice cause she started to stand behind him. she looked through it and saw he was dirt broke. also his wallet probably smelled pretty bad cause it was from the dump too.

so you have papyrus, walking around in garbage clothing with no money. muffet usually made a habit of roughing up people, but not my bro. for some reason, she secretly tucked his wallet back into his pocket and smiled at him, winking that big eye in the middle of her forehead.

"Dearie~ for your compliment and for keeping me company, the meal is on the house."

"OH... OH! THANK YOU, MISS MUFFET."

 

 

* * *

 

"muffet released my bro and even packed him a few of her pastries. and you know what? my bro even ate them all. whenever friends of ours gift him food he doesn't care for, he just pretends to like it and tosses it... but he actually ate all of muffet's stuff." Sans recounted to Frisk who nodded along excitedly. "so that's the end of the story."

Frisk grunted and gave Sans an exaggerated look. He took a swig of soda and chuckled.

"oh, i guess that doesn't explain why he would jump outta a window at the sight of her." Sans rubbed his chin. "how about another time, kiddo? i gotta take you back to tori's place."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will probably be the only time I write so heavily in Sans POV. I just thought it would be a funny idea to tell this first meeting from his POV, because... doesn't it seem like he was there!?
> 
> I may continue this for a little bit, because I love this ship and I feel like I can't find it ANYWHERE. If anyone who likes this ship wants to see certain situations play out, comment them and we will see how it goes! No guarantee, but I will try.


	2. SHE SAID SHE WOULD LIKE TO HAVE ME OVER FOR DINNER... I'M A BIT WORRIED.

 

Papyrus usually found himself at Muffet's. Not every time, but often enough that Muffet started to pack small baggies of her (terrible) donuts. The tall skeleton was usually able to find his way back home through better routes, but today was different. He sought out Muffet on purpose, rather than by accident. This would be the first time he ever tried to find her like this, but it wasn't the last. He came across her lair and peeked his head within.

"MISS MUFFET?" Papyrus had taken to calling her Miss Muffet. She had developed a fun, response that he loved to hear.

"Ahuhu~ Is that you, Mr. Papyrus?" Muffet called from within. As she did so, her cavern lit up to a more comfortable level of lighting. She crawled down from the ceiling, leaving an upside-down table where spiders seemed to be playing cards. "I didn't expect to see you today... I am pleasantly surprised."

Hearing her call him Mr. Papyrus made him feel...  **feelings.** He didn't quite understand what feelings they were, but he cherished the wave of happiness and anxiety that flooded his soul. He grinned down at her. While he was incredibly nervous dealing with her the first time, it was mostly due to his worry that she was going to tie him up and eat him. Muffet has had ample opportunities to do that, and hasn't, so he figured he was safe!  "NYEH HEH HEH," Papyrus wore his blush openly. "I AM GLAD YOU ARE PLEASANTLY SURPRISED. PAPYRUS STANDS FOR PLEASANTNESS! AND I LOVE A GOOD SURPRISE!" He exclaimed as she approached him. With a snap of her finger, a sofa lowered into the room, and they both took a seat. "WHAT IS PAPYRUS IF NOT PLEASANTLY SURPRISING? WHAT A SAD WORLD THIS WOULD BE IF I WASN'T!"

"So true, my dear Mr. Papyrus," Muffet cooed at him. "Let's not dwell on that note then, dearie~ Would you like a donut? I've been..." Her eyes flashed with a mischievous flare, "improving the recipe."

"O-OH," Papyrus stuttered, but pressed on. "I WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO TRY ONE OF YOUR INCREDIBLY DELICIOUS AND NOT-AT-ALL DISGUSTING DONUTS."

Muffet clapped her hands together twice, and a box of the infamous donuts lowered. Papyrus audibly gulped as he lifted one up. Previously, Muffet's donuts looked like donuts, but tasted awfully. These donuts were not typical looking for her work. In fact, they seemed a bit more polished with a purple glaze. They seemed to be covered in black sprinkles. If Papyrus had lips, they would have trembled, and so he thanked the stars for his lack of lips in that moment. He put the entire donut into his mouth and chewed. His face was indescribable. 

"Ahh..." Muffet looked away from him. "I see... it is not to your liking...?" She looked incredibly hurt for a small moment, before Papyrus piped up.

"N-NO!" Papyrus threw up his hands. "ER, YES! I... I QUITE LIKE THE TASTE!!!"

The lie was as obvious as the king's beard. Muffet gave him a soft smile, trying to build her courage. "It is alright, Mr. Papyrus... you do not need to lie... my baking ability is quite awful."

"I THINK YOUR DONUTS DEFY REASON!" Papyrus stated helpfully. He didn't like seeing anyone upset, it made him feel nervous. "PLEASE DON'T BE SAD, MISS MUFFET..."

"I'm not..." She lied to him for his own good. She looked away. "I'm just... frustrated."

"FRUSTRATED?"

"I figure if my goods tasted better... then it would be fair to charge my prey more," she openly admitted to him. She looked back to him. He could tell the corners of her many eyes were watery. "As long as my work is cheap, it wouldn't be fair to charge exorbitant prices..."

"MISS MUFFET... IN YOUR OWN WAY, YOU ARE PRETTY CLASSY!" Papyrus beamed at her. She felt a little better hearing it from him. "YOU ARE THE CLASSIEST MOBSTER I KNOW!"

"Ahuhu~ oh Mr. Papyrus," Muffet giggled. "You are lucky you are so delicious."

"D-DELICIOUS?" His fear of being eaten spiked. "I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW, I'M ONLY BONE!"

"Oh... but I am sure you have some marrow in them," she teased. For some reason, she took special delight in terrorizing him especially, though she tried not to exercise it too often, or he would be scared away. "But, I'll not eat you, Mr. Papyrus. You are too fun to eat."

"HA HA," Papyrus had a big fake grin on his face, "YES, FUN! THIS IS VERY FUN!"

At that, Muffet let out a genuine laugh, one that she needed in that moment. Papyrus laughed along with her once he realized she really meant what she said. About not eating him. The feeling struck him again. The sensation washed over him and made him feel a bit tickled and giddy. He looked down at her and noted her laughing face, eyes closed with a big smile. She had cute little fangs too. 

Papyrus blinked. Had he just thought Muffet looked... cute?

The spider looked up at him with her typical grin. "Thank you for visiting with me today, Mr. Papyrus. I always enjoy your company."

"TRULY," Papyrus stood up and suddenly couldn't bare to look her in the face. "T-THE PLEASURE IS ALL MINE!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like writing in Papyrus' voice. It is my favorite thing in the world.
> 
> Some chapters will be short like this, others might be longer than even the first. Feeling this will be slice of life-y, with bits of the past and present mixed in. 
> 
> Hope you are enjoying. :)


	3. BREAKING NEWS!!! MOBSTER DRUGS SKELETON IN A SHADY CAVE. MORE AT 11!!!

Papyrus visited Muffet once a week, either on his way to or from the king's castle. He started to linger in her lair more and more. The skeleton couldn't help but think of the spider girl, and sometimes he was lost in thought thinking of her that he didn't even notice Sans sitting on the sofa in their apartment. It startled Papyrus, and he let out a loud, "NYEH!!!"

"sorry, paps, didn't mean to scare ya," Sans chuckled. 

"SCARE?" Papyrus repeated incredulously. "I DO NOT SCARE SO EASILY! I WAS MERELY..."

"rattled?" Sans looked aside. 

Sans had the same sort of smile on every day for the most part, but Papyrus learned to discern his brother's different grins. This one was one you would call a 'shit-eating' grin. Papyrus let out a huge sigh of displeasure at the pun. His brother's puns were so lame!

"SUCH LAZY PUNERY," Papyrus shook his head and gave his own 'shit-eating' grin. "I THINK YOU WILL FIND THAT YOUR JOKES ARE... SANS THE HUMOR! NYEH HEH HEH!!!"

They both laughed. 

"so paps, i noticed you aren't home as much anymore. i hope you been following the doc's orders?" Sans tested the waters. Papyrus did not like being told what to do, so Sans always tried to encourage his brother to at least think of his health.

"FOR THE MOST PART?" Papyrus thought for a moment. "YES."

"uh, what do you mean..." Sans stayed as levelheaded as he could. "for the most part? what part aren't you following?"

"WELL... ANY OF IT?" Papyrus admitted sheepishly. Sans released a sigh.

"bro, have you been training with undyne  **every** day or something?" Sans looked a bit uncomfortable. He did not enjoy lecturing Papyrus. 

"Y-YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?" 

"yes" Sans tried to soften his expression and failed. "i'm your brother, paps, i keep tabs on ya. especially after..." Sans looked around. "ya know."

"SANS, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT NO ONE KNOWS WHY WHATEVER HAPPENED HAPPENED," Papyrus crossed his arms. "I UNDERSTAND YOUR CONCERNS, BUT I AM NOT A CHILD! I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!"

"you fell into a coma," Sans felt his voice growing harsh in tone. "for three days. three entire days, papyrus."

"I KNOW, AND-"

"and you had me worried sick," It was Sans' turn to shake his head. "i get it. you don't like sitting around, but you can't go around training hardcore like you are doing."

"SANS... I KNOW MY LIMITS, OKAY?" Papyrus looked over at his brother earnestly. "PLEASE, JUST LET ME HAVE THIS."

Sans went quiet for a moment. His pinpricks disappearing from his sockets. He had massive concerns for his brother, but Papyrus wasn't wrong. He wasn't a little kid anymore. Sans sighed at the thought. "heh, papyrus..." Sans shook his head. "i can't tell ya what to do. look, do what you want. just try not to... over do it?"

"DEAL!" Papyrus smiled. "NOW IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME, I FEEL LIKE THROWING UP!"

"w-what?"

"IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TRAINING!" Papyrus waved his hands at Sans, hoping to keep the topic changed. "I JUST. I'VE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH THIS MOBSTER, AND-"

"mobster? uh, you mean monster, right?" Sans nervously chuckled. "you aren't gettin' involved with shady people too now, right?"

"OH CERTAINLY NOT!" Papyrus nodded enthusiastically. "SHE IS NOT SHADY AT ALL. THOUGH THE CAVE SHE LIVES IN IS KIND OF SHADY. ANYWAY, I NEED TO GO HURL. SHE FED ME SOME WEIRD DONUTS, AND I DON'T FEEL TOO SWELL!"

With that Papyrus marched upstairs and promptly locked himself in the bathroom. Meanwhile, the pinpricks in Sans' eye sockets still hadn't returned. He sat there mumbling, "she fed... him donuts? a cave...?"

 

* * *

 

 

Some weeks later, Muffet eagerly awaited for Papyrus' visit. When he appeared, she did everything she could not to hug him. It was unbecoming to suddenly touch others. Extorting them for money was fine though. She bounced over to him in a happy mood. "Oh, Mr. Papyrus, hello~"

"MISS MUFFET!" He smiled at her. "I HAVE SOMETHING I WANT TO TELL YOU..."

"Ohh...?" Muffet blushed very deeply. 

"I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS..." Papyrus held his hand to his chest, suddenly he was wearing full plate minus the helm. "AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU!"

"O-Oh, Mr. Papyrus," Muffet squeeed as she put a pair of hands on her face, and the other pairs held hands with each other. She swung those arms back and forth. "You do? Truly?"

"MISS MUFFET," Papyrus smiled down at her. "I AM HERE TO ASK FOR YOUR HANDS IN MARRIAGE!" He kneeled down and pulled out a ring. It had several hundred diamonds on it. "WILL YOU BE MRS. MISS MUFFET PAPYRUS?"

"Stars! Yes!" Muffet jumped into his arms and nuzzled her face against his. Finally, she could touch the man she had fallen in love with. They could be together. No matter what his scary brother said to her.

Hmm... his face felt oddly fuzzy?

Muffet opened her eyes to see her pet nuzzling her chin affectionately. It barked at her and gave her a hearty lick.

"... drats," she muttered to herself as she rubbed her eyes. "Another dream..." Muffet laughed lightly as she pet Cupcake. "Marriage...? Ahuhu~ that's too soon, Muffet. Too soon..."

 

* * *

 

 

Later, Flowey appeared in the wishing room, as he usually did. He enjoyed observing Papyrus, one of the least boring characters in this dumb Underground. Papyrus could sometimes be found in the wishing room. He tilted his head as he watched Papyrus draw on the ground with a stick. Sneakily, Flowey peered over Papyrus' shoulder. It was a fairly good depiction of Muffet. Flowey loudly hummed as he thought.

"OH! HELLO FLOWEY," Papyrus greeted him. "HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS FINE... WHAT TIME IS IT AGAIN?" 

"Howdy, Papyrus, I'm doing just great now that I found you," Flowey flashed a big grin. "I see you are drawing a beautiful portrait of a certain spider there."

"O-OH," Papyrus looked from Flowey down to the art on the dirt. "I GUESS I AM. I AM TRULY MAGNIFICENT AT EVERYTHING I ATTEMPT!"

"So true," Flowey's grin too wide. Papyrus couldn't determine Flowey's various smiles at all like he could Sans. He took each and every grin as genuine, even though that couldn't be further from the truth. "Is she your special someone?"

"M-MY SPECIAL SOMEONE?" Papyrus looked surprised. As though the thought never occurred to him before. "YOU MEAN, LIKE... LIKE IS SHE MY-"

"Girlfriend, sweetheart, cuddle buddy," Flowey began to list various pet names much to Papyrus' protestations.

"NO! SHE ISN'T!" Papyrus blushed deeply. "I HAVE NEVER FELT LIKE THAT ABOUT ANYONE! EVER! GIRLS AND BOYS HAVE COOTIES!"

 _What an IDIOT!_ Flowey thought to himself.  _This looks like something I can have a little bit of fun with..._ Flowey gave Papyrus a concerned look. "Wow, that's a relief, Papyrus." He smiled. "For you anyway."

"HUH?" Papyrus tilted his head. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"

"Oh? You didn't know?" Flowey teased in his friendliest voice. "Muffet is out of your league. Romantically, I mean." Flowey shook his head. "Why, you are lucky she even talks to you at all." These were all lies, but Papyrus was innocent, naive, and gullible. All of the traits Flowey hated the most, yet when they manifested in Papyrus, he found them... endearing.

"YOU... YOU AREN'T WRONG," Papyrus admitted. "I MEAN! I AM VERY GREAT!"

"Very great indeed," Flowey nodded along.

"YES! GREAT! THE GREATEST! MAYBE EVEN THE GREATESTESTIST!" Papyrus smiled, but it was a weak one. "BUT SHE... SHE IS SOMETHING ELSE! SHE IS SO-"

Flowey took a bet with himself on what Papyrus would say. Beautiful? Kind? Caring? Considerate? Other things wimpy people praised, most likely. But Papyrus shocked him.

"DETERMINED."

"Determined? How?" Flowey arched a brow. Were they talking about the same monster here? 

"SHE WON'T GIVE UP, NO MATTER HOW ABSURD HER DREAM IS," Papyrus stated simply. "MISS MUFFET WANTS TO RESCUE THE SPIDERS IN THE RUINS, AND SHE IS GOING BY ANY MEANS TO ACHIEVE THAT GOAL! ITS ADMIRABLE!"

"Its admirable to mug people?" Flowey tested.

"WELL! NO, BUT!" Papyrus gave a dreamy sigh. "HER TENACITY... IT RIVALS MY OWN!"

Flowey bounced in place, excited. He knew about the fight Papyrus and Sans had some time ago. Something about Papyrus having fainted or something. Hard to imagine someone like Papyrus being completely subdued, but Flowey had seen stranger things. Heck, Flowey caused stranger things. It was time to cause some more mischief. Some more...  **fun**. "Say, Papyrus, what if I knew a way for you to equal Muffet?"

"YOU HAVE ME ALL WRONG, I DON'T WANT TO DATE HER! I JUST," Papyrus blushed so deeply that Flowey couldn't help but roll his eyes at Papyrus' continued protestations. "I JUST REALLY. REALLY. RESPECT HER AMBITIONS."

"Yea, yea, sure," Flowey looked aside with a huge grin. "I mean equal her, not date her, silly."

"OH, OF COURSE," Papyrus relaxed.  "I'M ALL 'EARS,' NYEH HEH HEH!"

For someone who didn't like Sans' puns, Papyrus sure liked to make a few. "Well, see... just follow these instructions..."

Needless to say, this wasn't going to end well.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH BOY. TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY! THAT MUST BE A WORLD RECORD FOR YOU!!! - Papyrus
> 
> Shuddup u lil shit. - Me


	4. wow, you sure like to use time skips. indistinct time skips...

Papyrus stood before Muffet's home wearing his best clothes. He cleared his throat several times before Flowey popped up from the ground.

"What's the hold up, Papyrus?" Flowey smiled his fake, little smile. "Don't you want Muffet to think you are the cool guy we all know you are?"

"I CERTAINLY DO, BUT," Papyrus gestured at the flowers he held in his hand. "WHAT DO FLOWERS HAVE TO DO WITH THAT?"

"Oh, Papyrus, you sweet summer child," Flowey's grin widened. "Don't you know? Flowers have their own language."

"OH! OF COURSE I KNEW THAT," Papyrus definitely didn't know anything about that. "I JUST, ER, HAVE TROUBLE SPEAKING THAT LANGUAGE!"

"Of course," Flowey laughed. "Those flowers you have there... they say, 'LOOK AT ME, AREN'T I THE BEST?'"

"OBVIOUSLY."

"Just stick to the plan, Papyrus... if you could just become..." Flowey looked aside sneakily, "popular, Muffet will acknowledge you as her equal. Maybe then... you could be-"

"THE VERY BEST OF FRIENDS!!!" Papyrus shouted nervously.

"'Friends,'" Flowey bounced in place for a moment, "right, just best friends. Anyway, I'll be cheering you on from afar."

 

Inside of Muffet's parlor, Papyrus could hear her sighing. She seemed to be sitting on the ground. He called out to her in his usual fashion.

"MISS MUFFET, IS THAT YOU?" Papyrus smiled as he approached her.

"Oh, hello-" Papyrus braced himself for her to call him that cute name- "dearie."

"OH." Papyrus said in a disappointed tone. Maybe she was just upset. "ARE YOU OKAY, MISS MUFFET?"

"You don't have to call me 'Miss,' dearie... Muffet will do," She stood up and turned to face him. 

Muffet had the look of someone who was having a hard time. Her lips were a flat line and only two of her eyes were open. The other three seemed closed tightly. 

It pained Papyrus to feel like he hadn't even said anything to her yet, and they were already taking a step backwards. However, he pressed on, "SO, MI-ER, MUFFET, I CAME HERE TODAY TO GIVE YOU THESE!" Papyrus handed her the flowers that Flowey helped him pick earlier in the Snowdin woods. The flowers were mostly red and yellow. They seemed complementary to the hue of Muffet's skin. Papyrus blushed somewhat and she blushed in return.

"Why!" She accepted them gracefully. Papyrus noticed Muffet did most of her motions with her top arms, the other pairs were limp at her sides. For a brief moment, her hand lingered on his boney hand. "Thank you... Mr. Papyrus."

"AH~" Papyrus couldn't help but feel like his rib cage was full of butterflies, which alarmed him for a moment before he realized it was just that special feeling Muffet gave him. Perhaps she was his special someone? She was someone... and she made him feel special. "MUFFET, I HAVE SOMETHING I WANT TO TELL YOU..."

Muffet felt her heart beat heavily in her chest. She brought the flowers in close to her bosom, and held the flowers as though she were a bride and Papyrus was about to say 'I do.' She nodded her acknowledgement of him, afraid to say anything. Sans had been by previously to lecture her about Papyrus and his condition. She felt... conflicted.

"I, PAPYRUS, WOULD LIKE TO INFORM YOU OF... OF SOMETHING."

Flowey watched from a corner in the room. Muffet's spiders scurried around him, completely grossing him out, but he HAD to see this. Papyrus was his favorite, after all. A little piece of him wanted to see that idiot succeed at  _something_.

"Yes...?"

"I... UM, BOY IS IT HOT IN HERE OR IS IT JUST ME?" Papyrus' blush deepened as he looked into Muffet's expectant glance. Finally, that was what gave him the strength to continue. "I, PAPYRUS, WOULD LIKE TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I WILL BECOME... AS GREAT AS YOU!"

Flowey slapped his face with his leaf as Muffet's inner Muffet shattered into tiny, little pieces.

"You... want to be as great as me?" Muffet tilted her head. "What do you mean, Mr. Papyrus?"

"HHHGNNN..." Papyrus looked away from her. "YOU ARE SO- SO-"

If Flowey had heat vision, he would have seared a hole in Papyrus' face.  _SAY WHAT I TOLD YOU TO SAY, YOU IDIOT!!!_

"SO GREAT. SO COOL. I AM NOT WORTHY OF HANGING OUT WITH YOU, I THINK." Papyrus turned away. "I-I... I HAVE TO GO TRAIN WITH UNDYNE NOW... I PROMISE, I WILL COME BACK WHEN I AM FINALLY AS GOOD AS YOU ARE." With that, Papyrus ran out.

"Papyrus, wait!" Muffet ran after him, but Papyrus was incredibly fast and Muffet already lost him when he stepped out from her abode. 

This was not what Flowey had in mind at all. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Muffet hoped Papyrus could return quickly or that he would get lost on his way to the king like he always did. Instead, unbeknownst to her, Papyrus had his own things going on and stopped delivering reports to the king. She thought of venturing out, but she couldn't spend too much time looking for a skeleton who...

Who clearly thought she was too good for him?

Instead, Muffet turned her attention to her spiders. She made just enough money peddling her pastries, which had become much better in recent days once Papyrus dropped off a cook book from the dump that he found. He swore he had just come across it, but Muffet learned to tell Papyrus lies from Papyrus truths. He lied a lot, and Muffet wasn't quite sure what to think about that. He always wanted everyone around him to be happy, and he always seemed to stretch the truth or tell tall tales. It was endearing, but she worried about his well being. Lying was not good for the soul.

They had spoken about her... methods of acquiring money. Papyrus stressed to her that he admired her passion and tenacity, but that Muffet was maybe a bit scary. She loved feeling like the scary spider she was, but Papyrus had a point. It's harder to extort money from folks once they learned how to avoid your path... especially if you were scary.

The pair had come up with a more interesting concept: a bakery. Muffet would open a bakery and sell her goods. But... that was expensive.

With Papyrus gone, she felt a compromise was in order. If he was going to go off and do his very best, shouldn't she do the same? Maybe she wouldn't be so...  _forceful_ about peddling her goods. Instead, she would open up... a bake sale and run it like a charity.

"Ahuhu~ Oh, my dear Mr. Papyrus," Muffet giggled. "I guess if my dearest will be gone from me... I should spend the time we'd normally spend together working on...  _a gift_." She claimed up the walls of her home and begun to make a spool of silken web...

 

 

* * *

 

 

 As time went on, Papyrus and Sans moved into Snowdin. Sans seemed to not work wherever he worked before, and instead worked about four jobs or something. Papyrus worked hard as he trained with Undyne. She seemed genuinely surprised at the precision and power of his attacks. He scoffed at the very notion!

"I AM NOT JUST ANY MONSTER!" Papyrus huffed one day at training. "I HAVE GOALS! DREAMS!!!"

"I CAN FEEL YOUR PASSION!" Undyne shouted, materializing a million spears. "ALRIGHT YOU NERD, LET'S WORK ON OUR SPECIAL ATTACKS, HUH!?"

"I'M READY!" Papyrus announced.

At his word, Undyne unleashed several volley of spears at him. Their magic sizzled and crackled in the air with magical electricity. Papyrus grinned as he weaved between all her spears, even going so far as to limbo way low to avoid a sneaky one she suddenly shot right at his head. 

"Nice going, punk!" Undyne flexed. "Now try me on! GO! DO THAT ATTACK YOU ARE ALWAYS BRAGGING ABOUT!!!"

Papyrus concentrated very hard and a pair of canid skulls materialized above his head. Undyne's eye went wide. She wasn't expecting something so cool looking! The canids opened their jowls and unleashed a beam of blue light. Undyne just stood in it, blinking.

"NYEH HEH HEH, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF IT?" Papyrus folded over and put his hands on his knees as they poofed from existence."PRETTY AWESOME, HUH??"

"Papyrus, why the heck did you shoot a blue beam!? That is the most obvious magic in the book!!!" Undyne walked over to him. 

"WELL, I JUST NOTICED YOU LOOKED PRETTY TIRED, AND REALLY-" Papyrus grinned up at her. "ISN'T THE IMPORTANT PART THAT MY SPECIAL ATTACK BE IMPRESSIVE?"

"How do you mean?"

"ANY HUMANS WHO FACE ME WILL SEE THEM AND IMMEDIATELY THINK..." Papyrus took a deep breath and stood up straight, suddenly not tired at all. "'WOWIE, THAT GUY IS SO COOL. I SHOULD JUST SURRENDER AND HELP MONSTERS ESCAPE FROM THIS AWFUL PLACE.'"

"Heh, it's a thought for sure, but... Papyrus," Undyne gave him a cautionary glance. "I don't think humans will surrender that easily, you know."

"REALLY? WHY?"

"Well... you know, cause... wait!" She tilted her head. "D-Do you know what happens to humans? Why we need them in the first place???"

"I KNOW THEY HAVE POWERFUL SOULS, AND..." Papyrus recounted what he understood. For some reason, he felt like he was missing a lot of information. Sometimes he thought he knew things, but didn't know those things. Other times, he thought he didn't know things, but he definitely ended up knowing them. "THE KING WILL GIVE THEM A BIG HUG, AND THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP WILL BREAK THE BARRIER! THAT'S GOTTA BE IT!"

"..." Undyne came to a shocking realization. Papyrus was strong and he could be cunning in battle... but... he was so friendly. "PAPYRUS, YOU DWEEB!" She pulled him into a noogie.

"PLEASE DON'T NOOGIE THE SKELETON!" He cried out suddenly.

"I have an even BETTER idea! YOU ARE..." Undyne wanted to call him a name, but instead, opted for, "SUPER GREAT. SERIOUSLY, YOU ARE REALLY GOOD. TRAINING PHYSICALLY LIKE THIS... I THINK WE HIT YOUR LIMIT! YEAH!"

"WOWIE! IS MY TRAINING ARC REALLY OVER ALREADY???"

"YEAH!" Undyne was pumped and good at getting others pumped. "HOWEVER, IF YOU STILL WANNA BE ABSOLUTELY AS RIPPED AS ME, DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED?"

"STEROIDS?"

"NO! YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO COOK!!!"

"COOKING???" Papyrus gave her a big grin. Her hype skills never failed her. Of course, she had no way of knowing what Papyrus was smiling about was thinking about how he could almost see Muffet again. Now that he was great all he needed to do was become popular!

 

 

* * *

 

 

Frisk pestered Sans on and off for weeks, but couldn't get a straight answer. Sans deflected every time with horrible puns. Damnit, he was  **good**. Frisk sighed as they stared at their UnderNet account, spying on Muffet's posts. A lot of pictures of her latest pastries, herself hanging out with surface spiders, and random pictures of her taking Cupcake on walks. No sign or posts of her talking about Papyrus at all. That is... until Frisk reached a date that seemed to be about a few weeks before Frisk showed up to the Underground.

It was a picture of Muffet and Papyrus standing close. 

**Really close.**

They both had big smiles.

**Really big.**

The title of the picture was, "HANGING OUT WITH MY DOODLEBUG. <3"

**Really Doodlebug...?**

Frisk gawked, and proceeded to inspect the post. It looked like Papyrus had been the original one to post the picture, but it seemed he became untagged... in his own post. The post stayed up on Muffet's wall, but Frisk could find no signs of Papyrus ever knowing Muffet. It was almost like... she blocked him... or possibly he blocked her.

The mystery grows! Frisk knew only one person who could help them investigate this important, world-changing mystery. They texted Alphys.

 **Frisk:** heya, Alphys, can you help me with somethin?

 **ALPHYS:** sure! ^.^

 **ALPHYS:** what is it, frisk? ^.^

 **Frisk:** its about undernet. Can u tell who blocked who on it?

 **ALPHYS:** i can, yea... LOL did you find some drama!?!?! if its about me and catty - uh, we fight sometimes LOL

 **Frisk:** ... no? I wanted to see about Muffet and Papyrus.

 **ALPHYS:** wait. lemme look it up

 **ALPHYS:** um... it looks like it was papy.

Frisk frowned down at the text box. 

 **Frisk:** why?

 **ALPHYS:** i have no idea. um, but the date of the block... it was after that costume party we had. looks like it was weeks before you came.

 **Frisk:** hm, can u tell me a lil bit about that party?

 **ALPHYS:** well... sure. it was like a boring adult party tho. you might find it boring

 **Frisk:** i really wanna no

 **ALPHYS:** okay, lemme tell you

 

 **ALPHYS:** in the best form ever! ... a fanfic!!!

After about 20 minutes, Frisk received a file from Alphys. They downloaded it and opened it up. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES! THERE ARE TIME SKIPS! THEY ARE BEING USED TO GET TO THE GOOD PARTS. I JUST WANT TO SET UP A LIL BACKSTORY. IT IS TAKING ALL MY EFFORT NOT TO WRITE 20K WORDS ABOUT THESE INSTANCES, BUT I REALLY WANNA WRITE ABOUT THEM HOOKING UP ON THE SURFACE - me
> 
> why are you yelling? - sans
> 
> I HAVE NO IDEA. - also me


	5. R&R!!!!

 =^.^=

Costume Ball

by ALPHYS

 

Author's Note: This is my fanfic of the costume party we had. Some things are played up for FUN! But! It all really happened!! I hope this helps you and is fun to read!!!

 

 

Undyne and Alphys started to spend a lot of time together. Alphys sat in her lab one day, doing important work, when suddenly Undyne burst in through the door.

"ALPHYS-CHAN!" Undyne shouted. "That manga you let me was super awesome! I found out about a new human tradition! We should do it!"

"Oh, is that so?" Alphys whispered with a grin. She stood up and put her hands on her hips. "And what tradition would that be... Undyne."

Undyne blushed. "O-Oh, it's... costume parties and things. They look really cool, so, I thought maybe we should have one..."

"Costumes...?" Alphys smirked. "I would love to see the kind of costume you'd wear, Undyne."

 

** (... this weird anime flirting continues. You skip ahead somewhat.) **

 

When Alphys got to Undyne's house, it was completely decorated with cute, tiny pumpkins and lights she apparently 'borrowed' from Snowdin. Alphys, as busy as she was, did not get her Kissy Cutie cosplay done in time. She spent so much time helping Undyne craft the perfect sword for her cosplay that Alphys simply didn't have enough time. She sighed heavily inside her costume. It was an MTT chassis that got scrapped in final production. Mettaton deemed it not rectangular enough. He wasn't wrong, it was shaped like a triangle. 

Inside the house, there were already people. A lot of people. Alphys wasn't deterred by this at all. Instead, she definitely stuck around. Undyne appeared. She wore a Senshi uniform wielding that huge sword we made together...

 

** (There are about 3 pages worth of words describing how cool Undyne looks. Suffice to say, this doesn't concern what you were hoping to read... You skip ahead again and your eyes stop when you reach paydirt.) **

 

Papyrus and Sans showed up. Alphys was not at all nervous to see Sans again. She definitely talked to him and said hi. Alphys had met Papyrus before, but since his incident, it seemed he forgot all about her. This hurt her feelings a little bit, but she tried to pay it no mind. Sans was not his usual self. He looked like he hadn't gotten a good wink in days, and instead of wearing a costume, he wore a shirt that just said "costume" on it. His brother, on the other hand, wore armor and kind of looked like a weird cosplay from a human game I played once. It wasn't exact, but it was pretty close. 

After a while of schmoozing and having a good time, someone else appeared. Muffet showed up wearing a pretty cute dress. It wasn't really a costume, but she did wear a mask on her face. She kind of reminded Alphys of when Nya Nya from Mew Mew Kissy Cutie used to wear a mask in public. A few other partygoers were stunned by her but then went back to their business. Mostly, Muffet didn't really hang out with anybody. No one really knew very much about her at all, except a ghost friend Alphys had.

Papyrus, though, he was completely enthralled with her. He looked absolutely embarrassed. Sans looked... well, Alphys could tell he didn't look happy. 

"Ahuhu~ splendid party... my spiders told me about this, so I hope I am not intruding..." Muffet cooed up at Undyne. Now that made Alphys a little jealous, but Undyne didn't look like she was into it.

"No way! You are welcome to join us!!!" Undyne grinned. "Please, enjoy yourself!"

Undyne was such a good host. Despite how she seems, she had really great manners... most of the time. 

Muffet walked over to Papyrus, who eyed her nervously. Alphys managed to catch a lot of the conversation, but that wasn't because she hid behind the piano or anything.

"Ah, you seem familiar..." Papyrus said nervously. He was looking all around the room with a worried look. 

"Ahuhu~ I should be," Muffet took her mask off for a brief moment, and Papyrus breathed a sigh of relief. "Long time no see, my dear Mr. Papyrus."

"Oh, thank goodness!" Papyrus smiled at her. Papyrus switched emotions really quickly Alphys noticed. "I was worried for a second that my feelings changed!"

"Oh? What do you mean?" Muffet tilted her head at him, thoughtfully.

"Er, nothing, anyway..." Papyrus blushed. "How are you, Miss Muffet?"

"I'm well... I actually brought you a gift," Muffet smiled. She reached into a hidden pocket in her dress. Alphys took notes: a dress with pockets was too amazing not to try to find more of. Muffet pulled out a red bundle. "I hope you like it..."

"Wowie, a gift for me??" Papyrus unfolded it. It was a peculiar sort of scarf. His cheeks reddened further. "This! This! What is this? I love it."

"It's a peculiar scarf, let me tie it for you," Muffet took the scarf from him and beckoned him to lower himself. He obliged, blushing the whole time she adjusted the scarf around his neck. His scarf almost looked like a cape. Or was it a cape that almost looked like a scarf? "There... it looks amazing on you if I do say so myself~"

"Let me see!" Papyrus pulled out his phone and started the selfie function. "Wow! This... This is so cool!"

Muffet got into the selfie with him and removed her mask. "Oh~ taking a picture? Why not include me, Mr. Papyrus?"

Papyrus had a big dumb smile on his face as he snapped the shot. 

"Thank you," Papyrus said. For once, it seemed like Papyrus had no words. "I really don't know what I can do to repay you."

"You don't need to do anything, Mr. Papyrus," Muffet leaned her head against his chest. "You look like a knight... my knight. Ahuhu~"

"Y-Your knight?" Papyrus gulped comically. Muffet giggled in response.

"You've been training, no?" Muffet smiled and poked at his armor. "You are wearing armor, no? You are my knight, I think~"

"Ah... Ahhhhh," Papyrus started to look around frantically. Like he was looking for an escape. "I-I guess so... Oh! Look at the time! I forgot to turn on the microwave! Bye!!!"

Then he crashed through the window. Undyne started to scream and shout. Sans, who Alphys just noticed was standing next to her, looked... pissed.

"Heh, Alph... I'll come by to see you tomorrow, k?" With that, he walked into Undyne's bathroom.

Alphys blinked, and Undyne came to join her...

 

** (... the rest of the fanfiction is garbage. You decide not to rate it.) **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE TITLE IS A JOKE. - me
> 
> what is it with you and yelling? - sans
> 
> MAYBE THE HUMAN IS STRESSED OUT? ARE YOU STRESSED, HUMAN? - Papy
> 
> Um, why doesn't he get yelled at for yelling? - me
> 
> What yelling? - Them in unison, thus killing me


	6. OH DARLINGS, WON'T YOU LOOK AT THE TIME... (the clock only reads: DRAMA!)

Papyrus ran all the way to his house in Snowdin and up to his room. He flung himself onto his bed and rolled around several times. Flowey popped up with an angry face.

"Papyrus! What are you doing, you ~~idiot~~ cool dude?" Flowey shook away his angry face and regained his static happy smile. "I got Muffet to come to that party, and it seemed that you were finally going to be-"

"BEST FRIENDS FOREVER," Papyrus interjected as he sat up. "I JUST... SOMETHING HAPPENED. I FEEL LIKE WHEN I AM WITH HER... I WILL THROW UP ALL MY HAPPINESS AND GOOD FEELINGS EVERYWHERE."

"Ugh... what a waste of time," Flowey muttered to himself. "Papyrus, you are in love with her. JUST TELL HER THAT."

"IN-IN LOVE? ME???" Papyrus shook his head. "N-NO! IT ISN'T LIKE THAT!"

"What's it like then?" Flowey felt his patience being tried. He was tempted to skewer Papyrus now and get it over with. 

"I JUST FEEL..." Papyrus looked away with his sad face. "LIKE WE CAN PROCEED NO FURTHER. I WILL DEFINITELY MESS IT UP WITH DOODLEBUG IF I EVEN SPEAK TO HER NOW!!"

"D-Doodlebug?" Flowey raised a brow and was suddenly amused again. "Who is Doodlebug?"

"E-ER... THAT," Papyrus blushed. "THAT IS WHAT I CALL HER IN MY HEAD! DON'T JUDGE ME!!!"

"Why would I ever judge you, Papyrus?" Flowey smiled as he stems crept up to Papyrus' face. "I would never do such a thing. Maybe you are right. Maybe your little "Doodlebug" and you will never be together..."

Papyrus cried a soft Nyoh Hoh Hoh. Flowey distracted him with compliments and praise as he grew a limb and stole Papyrus' cellphone. With Papyrus distracted, Flowey fiddled around and posted that selfie he took with Muffet at the party on UnderNet with the caption: HANGING OUT WITH MY DOODLEBUG. <3

Flowey placed the phone back all without Papyrus ever noticing.

 _If this idiot doesn't seal the deal, then I'll leave it up to Muffet._ Flowey thought to himself once he finished and left Papyrus' home.  _That way I can see the dumb look on his face when I KILL her._ He laughed evilly as he plopped back into the ground.

Little did the flower know that a certain smiley trashbag was about to ruin that plan...

 

 

* * *

 

 

Alphys didn't expect Sans to show up, but there he was. She glanced at him nervously.

"long time no see, heh," Sans walked up to her. "i need to look at the backend of undernet real quick, k?"

"Uhhh, sure?" Alphys stepped aside. She blushed as he came near her, but felt her heart breaking as she knew nothing would come from it. She felt immediately foolish for even imagining it. She had... other romantic options these days. Sort of... at least people that she could fantasize having options with instead of an ex that didn't work out... "What are you doing?"

"nothing really, just solvin' an issue i noticed," Sans keyed around and whatever he did made a loud BONK noise. "there. all fixed. now to have another talk with miss whatserface..." He turned and started to walk away.

"W-Wait!" Alphys stopped him.

"hmm?" Sans turned to face her.

"Um... I know... that it might be awkward b-but..." Alphys looked away from him for a brief moment, but forced herself to continue eye contact. "C-Can't we be friends again?"

"oh..." Sans looked pained. Alphys felt he must've felt pained at being asked by such a lowly person as herself. He seemed to quickly pick up on that. "i don't know why you'd be friends with a guy like me... i abandoned you at the worst time and i... i am kind ofa bonehead, heh."

"I understand why it happened," Alphys nodded at him. "I just... I miss h-hanging out with someone who g-gets the stuff I talk about... A-Actually, I did start to s-study that... event."

"oh?" Sans walked back over to her. "well... i do have time. i can talk to that spider later... maybe after my 15th break."

 

 

* * *

 

 

It didn't take long for Papyrus to notice that Muffet blocked him on UnderNet. Of course, that wasn't true. It was Sans, but that was beside the point. From his POV, Papyrus was blocked. He liked to look at the cute pictures she took of Cupcake, the food she cooked, etc. Word on the street was her pastries tasted incredibly tasty now, but he would never know. He could never find out. There was no way he could ever face her ever again... and so began the period in which Papyrus could merely NOT face Muffet at all.

He distracted himself by continuing his goals. To be the great person he knew he was. To be popular. To join the royal guard. 

Maybe if he could just do these things... he'd feel those special feelings he only felt when Muffet looked at him with her cute, mischevious smile. Or when she touched him the few moments their hands would touch. Or when she called him incredibly handsome. Of course, he knew he was attractive, but it was always lovely to hear from a ... a friend. Just a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TSK. TSK. Rue, how could you forget to include moi~ The Underground's HOTTEST STAR (TM)? - It's Mettaton (TM)
> 
> (ohgawdwhyishesoattractive???) - me


	7. (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Frisk facepalmed so hard it left a red mark on their forehead. In a way, that fanfiction explained a lot of things... but... it also begged a question: why was Sans pissed? They started to feel incredibly frustrated and started messaging Alphys again.

 **Frisk:** omg (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

 **ALPHYS:**??? 

 **ALPHYS:** OMG IM SORRY I AM BAD AT RIGHTING OK!?!?><

 **Frisk:** No, its not that. ur writing is p good. :)

 **ALPHYS:** o-oh, thanks. I think its garbage, but i appreciate ur comment.

 **Frisk:** y was sans pissed?

 **ALPHYS:** o, well... i shouldnt say it, but, basically papyrus got really sick one time and after that sans changed a lil. he's lightened up a lot since then, but

 **ALPHYS:** its like a brother conplex, but less gross! lolol

 **Frisk:** o. i c.

 **ALPHYS:** yea, i never talked to him about it, but it seemed liek he felt muffet was creepin' on his bro. that's just the impression i got.

 **Frisk:** ok. that makes sense i guess.

 **ALPHYS:** now that you know about papy and muffet... i wanna let you know i ship it

 **Frisk:** omg me 2!!!

 **ALPHYS:** its so cute, right!?

 **ALPHYS:** cinnaboy x dark girl. whats not to love!?

 **Frisk:** i wish we could help them

 **Frisk:** papyrus obviously still in love with her lol. 

 **ALPHYS:** frisk... your a genius. we should help them.

 **Frisk:**???

 **ALPHYS:** leave it to me... come to my place... i got a plan ;D

 

 

* * *

 

 

At Alphys' place, which was a surface apartment she shared with Undyne, Frisk showed up to find Undyne, Mettaton, and Alphys all sitting around the dining room table looking serious. Almost like they were playing a really cool board game. Frisk had a key to their apartment, but obviously only came when they all knew about it. Frisk even had a room with them in their spare room, though sometimes it seemed that Bratty would sometimes be there sleeping over.

Frisk took a seat at the table.

"Oh, helllooooooooo gorgeous," Mettaton greeted Frisk with a wave of his leg. "I see we are plotting something ABSOLUTELY marvelous."

"I HAD NO IDEA THAT DWEEB WAS INTO THAT SPIDER CHICK!!!" Undyne laughed heartily. "THAT EXPLAINS WHY HE WAS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT HER!!!" She smiled. "How cute her hair was, how cool it was she had 3 pairs of arms, how she was an incredible hustler..."

"Undyne... how could you not tell with him saying that stuff to you," Alphys' cheeks were inflated. Clearly, her girlfriend didn't understand that much about romance. "Saying that kinda stuff is like... the most obvious indicator of a crush!"

"O-Oh..." Undyne made a cute face as she blushed. "Sometimes I talked about you like that to Papyrus, too. We had gab sessions about how cute you both were..."

"W-What???" Alphys blushed back.

"AHEM!!!" Mettaton fake coughed. He was a robot, so he didn't actually have lungs. "Ladies, ladies, as much as I love hearing about how into each other you are... aren't we forgetting the task at hand?"

Frisk laughed and nodded at Mettaton.

"Hmm? Why am I here?" Mettaton winked at them. "So you heard I was on my world tour, so how am I here? Well darling, normally, I wouldn't bother helping Alphys with her weird little side projects... but then I realized - who am I kidding!?" He jumped onto the table and posed seductively. "I'm Mettaton, the most famous monster in the world! I'm basically the best person to play Cupid for these lovestruck monsters~"

"I-It also helps that Mettaton is... friends with Muffet," Alphys added, grumpily eyeing Mettaton.

"I can't say I appreciate you standing on our table..." Undyne closed her eyes as she spoke and shook her head. Suddenly, her eyes flared open, "BUT I ADMIRE YOUR SPIRIT! LET'S HOOK THOSE TWO CUTIES UP!!!"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ - me
> 
> why are you flipping tables? - sans
> 
> idk, for fun?? - me
> 
> heh, rue... you are one strange human. - sans
> 
> \--
> 
> in the distance, a small shadow peeps around a corner and whispers in their own, strange accent, "and soon the flipping tables will turn."


	8. Obligatory lyric fic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh... it looks like rue is doing that cliche thing where she is using song lyrics for a chapter... wow...  
> ..... i think the song she is using is this one: https://soundcloud.com/jubyphonic-p/ano-ko-secret-english-cover
> 
> just in case you wanted to listen to it... or in case you didn't....

Papyrus was out conducting his usual chores. The humans around him in the shopping market seemed to be making a big deal of the day. It was Friday the 13th. Papyrus wasn't so sure what was special about that day, but it seemed to get everyone in a tizzy. He scoffed at the notion of a day being special unless it was the kind where he could give or receive gifts, clearly those were the best days. Papyrus hadn't yet broken a sweat as he shopped for items, but a small part of him panicked a little when he spotted her. It was Muffet. She passed by outside and didn't seem to notice him. She kept walking on. It had gotten chilly outside, so she wore a cute, fuzzy purple jacket. Papyrus felt his soul flutter in his ribcage as it always did when she was near. He couldn't help the feeling.

"Ahh~ what a beautiful darling girl," A sexy voice called from next to Papyrus. Papyrus gasped!

"METTATON, THE SEXIEST RECTANGLE (TM)! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??" Papyrus' blushed happily. It wasn't every day you got to meet one of your idols!

"I'm here to inspire you~" Mettaton cooed as he posed randomly. He wore a big trenchcoat, but his sparkling face was very recognizable. 

Across the street, Frisk and Alphys watched through binoculars. Alphys huffed, "What's he doing!? He needs to act soon!!"

"M-ME? INSPIRE ME? WOWIE!" Papyrus put his hands against his cheeks. "I'M SO HONORED!"

"You are~," Mettaton grinned. "Now that young girl who walked by, Muffet? What do you think of her, hmmm?"

"OH, UH, GOSH..." Papyrus looked at the ground as he rattled off a list, "SHE HAS A L-LOVELY VOICE. SHE CAN BE PRETTY SCARY SOMETIMES... I THINK SHE IS VERY COOL."

"Cool? And what of her looks, Papyrus?" Mettaton posed. "Don't you find her simply BEAU-TI-FUL~?"

"Y-YEAH, I DO!"

"Do you know what I think about that?"

"UH?"

"I think a person is most beautiful..." Mettaton wrapped an arm around Papyrus' shoulders, "when they look at someone they love."

"I-IS THAT SO???" Papyrus was clearly experiencing a sensory overload.

Frisk gawked and Alphys nodded, "You're right... Mettaton can't help but flirt with people... EVEN WHEN HE IS TRYING TO HOOK THEM UP WITH SOMEONE!" Alphys pushed a button on her phone and whispered, "This is Mew Mew contacting OH LA LA~." Mettaton received it in his ears. "Y-You aren't su-supposed to flirt! G-Get to the point! The w-window of opportunity is closing!!!" Mettaton winked at the blushing Papyrus as he poked a button on his cheek, disabling Alphys from contacting him further. "UGH! HE HUNG UP!" She sighed. "Let's make sure... everything is in place." Frisk nodded and the two proceeded to check their phones.

"I saw how you looked at that divine vision just now and thought, 'Oh my, he looks ravishing!'" Mettaton smiled widely. "I'm here to tell you, Papyrus, that this is your time to SHINE!" Mettaton ripped off the trenchcoat and was suddenly on a stage. The humans and monsters nearby stopped whatever they were doing and turned to look. "I know you, Papyrus! I read your fanmail!"

"YOU DID!?"

"YES!!!!!!" Mettaton laid seductively on the stage. He had a rose now and pressed the petals against his metallic lips. "And there is a common theme! You have a heart full of love! OF YEARNING! You dream of achieving the best kind of greatness! Of being a positive influence on the world! I could feel your feelings about these in your writing!!!"

"YOU ARE SO AMAZING, METTATON!!!" Papyrus didn't even question the fact that this celeb somehow knew his name. "I DO FEEL THAT WAY!"

"I have a wonderful secret to share with you, mon cherie," Mettaton threw the rose at Papyrus, who caught it. "If you admit your true feelings to yourself and admit those feelings to our... Little Miss Muffet," Mettaton chuckled. "Then you will, indeed, become that which you seek: A GREAT MAN!"

"I... I..." Papyrus looked down nervously at the rose. "I'LL DO IT! I... I WILL FIND A WAY TO SAY HOW I FEEL TO HER!"

"EXCELLENT!!!" Mettaton blew Papyrus a kiss. "NOW GO, MY DARLING! GO AND TELL THAT SPIDER GIRL HOW YOU FELL!"

"I WILL!!!!!!" Papyrus jumped out the window, breaking it. He ran in the direction Muffet went, shouting, "THANKS!!!"

The crowd around Mettaton went wild. Suddenly there were flashing lights and many people asking for his autograph. Along with a familiar, cat-like employee with bulging eyes murmuring, "S-So this is the p-part he wanted me to play all along..." as he swept up the window glass in defeat.

 

* * *

 

 

DATING PURSUIT...!

 

 _She would remember, remember me although_  
_I’m barely here, there, or anywhere at all, I know_  
_Keeping a secret, a secret, a truth told_  
_But couldn’t reach her and deeper into blue I go_  
  
Papyrus ran down the street in a hurry, carrying only the red rose. His scarf fluttered as he moved. He turned his head down each alley looking for her. Papyrus rushed and couldn't help but recall the feelings he felt around her. A strangely pleasant mix of anxiety, heartbreak, but... something nice. Nice, warm, and... good. He felt so lost after his coma. He knew he wasn't quite remembering things right anymore, but being with her - it made him realize he didn't care about that anymore. When he was with her, he felt stronger. He felt put together.

Papyrus didn't understand why his soul beat faster when he was near her. He couldn't explain why his face felt so hot whenever she was around. All he could say is that he liked that feeling. The rush, the excitement... he could feel it coming back to him even now.

 _I wanna to talk to you, talk to you so long_  
_Tell you the dumb things that I think until dawn_  
_But if I told you, I’d tell you it all wrong_  
_Because my racing heart would be a ticking time bomb_

He cursed all those moments he couldn't admit it to himself... He still couldn't! He hoped he would work it out by the time he reached her. There were many times he wanted to push certain words out of his mouth, like, "MISS MUFFET, YOU ARE SO SWEET AND CUTE." or "MISS MUFFET, YOU MAKE MY SOUL FLUTTER." or "YOU ARE MY DOODLEBUG!" It still felt wrong to want to say those things. It felt like there was a huge wall in front of him that kept growing taller and taller. Papyrus... he knew he was great, right? But there was still a tiny piece of him that resonated. That wall was graffitied in words that read: YOU AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH! YOU WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH! NOT FOR SANS... NOT FOR HER... YOU LET ME DOWN, SON. YOU LET ME FALL INTO THE VOID.

Papyrus' thoughts swirled as he faced that wall. He should just give up, he thought. It was time to quit, wasn't it? 

 _Walking home, I suddenly see_  
_We magically meet, you and me_

He stopped running and felt the hand of cold defeat float to him... until he heard the voice of one of his best friends!

"PUNK! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!" Undyne grinned and summoned a volley of spears. "DO YA REALLY THINK A SILLY WALL LIKE THIS IS GONNA KEEP THE GREAT PAPYRUS FROM ACHIEVING HIS DREAMS!?"

"UNDYNE!" Papyrus exclaimed. "YOU... YOU ARE RIGHT!" Papyrus looked at the wall. "I CAN CLIMB ANY MOUNTAIN IN MY WAY! NYEH HEH HEH!!!"

"GOOD!" Undyne unleashed the volley of spears, and they formed platforms for Papyrus to jump onto. "Now go get her, Papyrus!"

 _This must be_ fate, _or a sign that_ it’s _time_  
_I’m ready to go_

He nodded eagerly with a determined look in his eye. He hopped onto each of the spears, scaling the mountain

 _I don’t know why-_ y-y  
_But my heart has a step and_  
_I really need to show you how I feel_  
_Do all I can_  
_Be on my side, say_  
_No matter what may become of me today_

Papyrus reached the top and spotted his spider. She was several blocks down. He worried he would never make it. He suddenly got a call on his phone. It was from Doctor Alphys! He answered.

"P-Pa-Papyrus!" Alphys spat out. This was crucial! "G-Get ready! Uh... JETPACK!"

The phone hung up and turned into a jetpack. It attached itself to Papyrus' person. He flew off in Muffet's direction!

 _Without you, I-I-I_  
_Couldn’t keep my head straight_  
_And you’re the only thing that I need now_  
_And always_  
_I don’t need a grip on reality_  
_Everything fades out like it’s all a dream_

As the skeleton jetpacked across the sky, humans and monsters alike stopped to marvel at the strangeness of it. He got closer and closer to her! He could feel his bravery growing. There was nothing that would keep him from telling her the truth!

That truth... that he... !!!

Suddenly his jetpack sputtered and started to crash. He landed with a thud! "AHH!" 

He slowly regained his stature as he stood. He could see Muffet out in the distance, walking. She was a lot closer now. He was hurt. He followed her, limping somewhat. He called out to her, "MISS... MISS MUFFET!"

She didn't hear him.

 _I’m calling Cupid, oh Cupid, his arrow_  
_It isn’t working the way that I thought, no_  
_“I love you Senpai” a secret you don’t know_  
_But now my mind has gone white from this big blow_

Alphys and Frisk looked at one another, freaking out. That clearly wasn't supposed to happen! Not only that, but it started to rain.

A drenched Papyrus felt his mood darkening. He was always so strong. He had to be strong for his friends. He encouraged them to follow their dreams. He had to keep smiling for Sans' sake. Ever since the accident... ever since whatever _happened_ happened... Sans was changed. So Papyrus was happy for him. 

But was that just an act? 

Papyrus felt frustrated. Muffet was right in front of him, and even with the sudden, and seemingly random, encouragement from his friends, he still couldn't-!

 _I’m seeing sides of you I never knew but still think_  
_That you just smile on for miles, they aren’t for me_  
_I wanna break it, this promise I can’t keep_  
_But I’m so nice, I couldn’t do it after everything_

However, the monsters nearby started to resonate with Papyrus' will. Vegetoids, Woshua, and other healing monsters started to send him their positive vibes. Green magic rained on Papyrus and he looked around at them with a big smile. 

 _It’s too bad but this is the end, I guess it’s_  
_“GAME OVER” then_  
_This can’t be fate, so I’ll try again_  
_I’m ready to go_

Papyrus turned back to look for Muffet, but spotted his brother Sans standing right in front of him.

"heh, paps," Sans shook his head. Alphys and Frisk, who were watching from afar at this point, gawked. No one invited or even told Sans about this. "we need to talk."

"NOT NOW, SANS!" Papyrus tried to push past Sans. "I'M ... I'M TRYING TO TALK TO MUFFET."

"i know, and i just wanted to tell you... that i'm sorry," Sans sighed. "i won't explain now, but i want you to know... you have my blessing."

Papyrus felt his soul tremble. Why was his brother apologizing? Still... knowing he had Sans' approval was good. "THANK YOU, SANS, I DO APPRECIATE THAT... NOW IF YOU EXCUSE ME, I NEED TO CATCH THAT DOODLEBUG!"

"doodlebug?" Sans laughed. "that's cute. anyway. here ya go."

"HUH-?" Before Papyrus was finished, Sans instantly turned him blue and flung him directly at Muffet's direction. 

"heh, my work here's done... time to go to grillby's."

_I don’t know why-_ y-y  
_But my heart has a STEP and_  
_I really need to show you how I feel_  
_Do all I can_  
_Be on my side, say_  
_No matter what may_  
_Become of me today_  
  
_Without you, I-aye-aye-aye_  
_Couldn’t keep my head straight_  
_And you’re the only thing that I need now_  
_And always_  
_I don’t need a grip on reality_  
_Everything fades out like it’s all a dream_

Thankfully for Papyrus, he could easily control himself while being flung! He used the momentum to help him break into a speedy run and finally he did a long leap. He landed right next to Muffet, who was startled by his presence.

"Mr. Papyrus!" Muffet used a hand from her middle set of arms to pull out earbuds. She tilted her head. "You look... tired. Ahuhu~"

"M-MISS MUFFET..." Papyrus panted. Any other person would have fallen to the ground in agony, but Papyrus was working off of pure adrenaline. He looked down at her in earnest, a flush across his face, but his eye sockets exuded his determination. He held out the rose Mettaton had given him. "MISS MUFFET, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SHALL GO ON A DATE WITH YOU!"

Muffet looked up at him with stars shining in her eyes. Muffet put her hand on the rose, and her hand lingered on Papyrus' hand holding the flower. She didn't laugh, she didn't even emote. All she said was, "Yes."

Maybe Friday the 13th did have a special significance after all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm never doing lyric fic again........................


	9. DATING START! ... PART 1

Mettaton, Undyne, Alphys, and Frisk all watched the scene unfold. Papyrus just asked Muffet out... kind of. Frisk recognized this and nodded their approval. Alphys wiped the sweat from her brow and sighed deeply.

"Alphys, you seem like you were the one who ran the marathon!" Undyne laughed. "Nice touch with the wall. There was totally some weird graffiti on it too! It was in a language I didn't even understand!!!"

"Alphys, DAAAARLING!" Mettaton gave Alphys a huge hug. "You are so good at pulling together things like this as long as you aren't in the spotlight! We should-" Mettaton gestured a connection between himself and Alphys, "put together some kind of reality TV show about this! Think of it! Mettaton's Amazing Arrow! The Show that brings lovers together through crazy obstacle courses! We could even set it to that cheesy J-Pop you love so much!"

"Thanks, U-Undyne and Mettaton," Alphys blushed. However, she thought for a moment and squinted at her. "Um... I didn't put any graffiti on that wall though?"

 

 

* * *

 

 

Days later, after Papyrus acquired Muffet's number, which he had to repeat all the way back home since his phone turned into a jetpack somehow and then exploded, Papyrus formally informed Muffet of the date details, just the day and time, to which she accepted. 'With  _pleasure_ ' she stressed to him. Her voice echoed in his head, and he felt a shiver go up his spine just thinking about it. Papyrus was in his home, Sans was nowhere to be seen, but for some reason Frisk, Alphys, Undyne, and even Mettaton were present! He opened the door for them, and they herded inside and started to try fixing him up. Giving him unsolicited advice. Some gems:

Alphys, "M-Make sure you g-get her a nice gift!"

Undyne, "BENCH PRESS HER SO SHE KNOWS HOW STRONG AND COOL YOU ARE!!!"

Mettaton simply took Papyrus aside and gave him quieter advice. He asked Papyrus what he thought a good gift would be. Papyrus planned on tossing Muffet a bone, but Mettaton stressed that a gift like that was meant for a date later one. You never give a lady your bone on the first date, was Mettaton's issued warning. 

Frisk stressed the importance of Papyrus being himself.

 

After all the preening and pampering, Papyrus stood awkwardly in front of Muffet's apartment holding a single red rose. It had worked to impress her last time. She lived fairly close to Undyne's place as it turned out, which made him even more nervous. Yes, his friends all definitely knew about this date, but they could be watching. He couldn't stand it if they saw him fail!

Fail! ... Fail. ... Fail?

Papyrus shook his head. No! He has never failed at anything in his life! Sure, his date with Frisk had gone poorly, but that was mostly because there just was no chemistry. Also Frisk was a child, so that didn't help either. Despite Frisk's burning passion for him, it just wasn't possible--!

The skeleton's eye sockets went wide as he realized!

What if on this date Muffet realized she had no feelings for him? What if she decided he was too childish??? Would Papyrus end up trapped in a dark passion prison with no escape along with Frisk?

Truly... this was a conundrum. 

From inside Muffet's apartment, the spider girl stood smiling as she peeked at Papyrus from her window. She asked him to message her when he was near, and she did not receive the message just yet. Muffet giggled as she watched him squirm like a fly that got caught in the web. He was so sweet... so  _delicious_. She leaned her head on a pair of her hands and watched her would-be love panic outside her window about something, while her hands stroked Cupcake. Muffet was ready to leave, wearing a short, black dress with cute black ballerina shoes. She even used red bows in her hair, matching the scarf she had crafted for Papyrus. She was glad to see him wearing it, though she giggled when she noticed he still wore his knight's armor. Wasn't that for a costume party?

Finally, Papyrus managed to send Muffet a message on his new phone, given to him by Doctor Alphys, along with an apology for destroying his old phone. He had waved away her concerns, happy that the very random jetpack came in handy regardless! 

Muffet came out, and Papyrus had to put a gloved hand over his mouth to keep from gawking at her. Muffet always looked quite lovely, but somehow she looked even more wonderful! How could this be!!! She walked up to him and he awkwardly offered her the flower, "GIRL FOR THE PRETTY FLOWER?"

"Ahuhu~ Thank you, Mr. Papyrus," Muffet giggled and took it from him. She did not carry a purse or any container, so she snapped the stem off and created some sticky web in another hand. Using about 3 hands, she affixed the rose bud to one of her hair ribbons. "Does it look okay like this, Mr. Papyrus?"

"O-OH, YES," Papyrus smiled. "IT LOOKS VERY PRETTY!"

"Mmm," Muffet looked up expectantly at her suitor. "Shall we leave now?"

"AS YOU WISH," Papyrus held out his arm and Muffet took it. Their touching bodies caused both of them to blush somewhat, though Papyrus was at least keeping himself in control. "AND AWAY WE GO!"

 

 

* * *

 

 

Papyrus led Muffet to the place of their date... Freckle Frackle! It was a very fancy fast food place, but nonetheless, Papyrus could smell the grease from where he stood. Papyrus was sweating bullets as they stood outside of it. The jerk with the silly font offered 'great advice' that was sure to get any lady's affections! It was offered as a peace offering for telling so many bad jokes... Papyrus knew he shouldn't have trusted internet suggestions!!!

"Oh~" Muffet beamed up at Papyrus. "How did you know I enjoyed Freckle Frackle?"

"ER..." Papyrus blushed. Muffet hugged his arm a little more tightly. "I AM A KEEN OBSERVER... SO, LET'S GO IN."

Inside, Papyrus had to admit that he admired the atmosphere. For being a fast food place, it seemed very cozy and warm. Muffet led Papyrus to the counter. She asked him, "What would you like to eat?"

"WHAT IS THE LEAST GREASY THING?" Papyrus asked without thinking as he eyed the menu above the counter. "ER, NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH GREASE!"

"Hmmm," Muffet nuzzled his arm as she thought. Papyrus enjoyed the sensation. "I think your best bet would be the baked potato, Mr. Papyrus."

"BAKED POTATO? I HAVEN'T EATEN THIS 'BAKED POTATO' BEFORE..." Papyrus looked concerned for a moment. "NEVER HURTS TO TRY, I SUPPOSE."

"Indeed~" 

They approached the human worker who manned the cash register. Muffet ordered first. "I'd like, hmmm, those nugget thingies." She pointed at a combo meal. "With... a soda!" Papyrus was about to state his order when Muffet did it for him, "Also, a baked potato with water~ Ahuhu~" Muffet looked up at Papyrus with a knowing smile.

The human behind the register took their order and spent a moment filling it out. As they did, they never said a word other than what the total cost was, which Muffet paid despite Papyrus pulling out his wallet. She simply waved her hand at him. He felt incredibly guilty, but he wasn't sure why. After all, he loved it when others treated him to lunch and such. Why shouldn't he enjoy this? He wondered if it had anything to do with the feeling that Muffet always fed him, but Papyrus had yet to offer her some of his homemade spaghetti. After a few minutes, their tray was ready. Muffet was happy to let him pick it up. They walked to a corner booth and sat across from each other. 

Muffet took a fry and began to chew on it. Papyrus poked at his baked potato, unsure of how to feel about it. Muffet giggled.

"You don't need to eat it, Mr. Papyrus," She cooed. "We can find something more to your taste, if you'd like. I can ask for a bag."

"NONSENSE!!!" Papyrus shrieked. "WHAT KIND OF GENTLEMAN WOULD I BE IF I FORCED YOU TO WALK AROUND WITH A BAG OF FAST FOOD? I WILL TRY THIS..." Papyrus got a small helping of it on his plastic spoon and forced it into his mouth. His body did whatever it did to ingest the small portion of the meal. However, Papyrus got a faint blush to his cheeks once the process was finished. "WOWIE! THAT... THAT IS PRETTY GOOD, ACTUALLY!" He started to scoop up more of the potato with vigor. Muffet laughed at how eagerly Papyrus ate the food. She enjoyed his over-the-top gestures. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sweet babs...! NOW KISSSSSSSSS!!! - me as I furiously press a crappily made papy and muffet doll together
> 
> SHE IS KINDA CREEPY! - Papyrus, all smiles


	10. DATING ... STOP? PART 2

After their delectable lunch, the skeleton and the spider went on a stroll through the surface. Muffet wrapped three of her arms around Papyrus' arm as they walked. Papyrus was incredibly intrigued by the number of appendages this lady had. He simply had to compliment her.

"MISS MUFFET," Papyrus tested the waters, "I MUST ADMIT... I THINK IT IS QUITE COOL YOU HAVE SO MANY ARMS!"

"Ahuhu~ the better to hold you with, Mr. Papyrus," Muffet cooed at him. Papyrus blushed a bit as she nuzzled his arm.

"I WISH I HAD MORE BODY PARTS," Papyrus admitted to her. "THAT WAY I COULD BOTH POSE HEROICALLY AND SCOLD SANS AT THE SAME TIME!"

"Scold Sans? Your dear...  _dear_ brother?" Muffet gave undue emphasis to the word. Almost as if she meant the opposite of the word 'dear' as she used it... "Why ever would you scold such a...  _darling_ person?" Again, it sounded like she meant to use a different word. 

"AH YES, MY DEAR...  _DEAR_ BROTHER SANS." Papyrus shook his head. It seemed he also meant to use some other word. What word could it be? Papyrus could feel the tirade coming on. "I MEAN, I LOVE MY BROTHER, I DO. YET, HE IS CONFOUNDING. BOTH HARDWORKING AND LAZY. INTELLIGENT WITH UN-ZESTY JOKES, UNLIKE MYSELF! IT IS LIKE SANS IS BOTH TRYING AND NOT TRYING! IT TRULY INFURIATES ME."

Muffet nodded along, but didn't say anything or add to the growing list of woes Papyrus rattled off. Muffet got along well enough with Sans in recent history... but it wasn't always that way.

A story for another time, perhaps? For now, the two monsters continued their walk. They were gawked at by some humans, but so far no signs of trouble.

 

In the distance, a small, drone flew over the city. It's camera zeroed in on the dating monsters. At the apartment of a certain couple, Alphys and Frisk monitored the situation on a screen. As it turns out, being a genius creator and having weird pastimes makes strange bedfellows. The duo spied on the couple as they munched on popcorn and pocky.

"I'm so glad we kept him from referencing that date book, good job, Frisk!" Alphys looked to Frisk who gave a stern nod. "T-This is so exciting. Can you imagine? Papyrus d-d-dating! So weird, because I'm sure Sans-"

"hi." Came a low, laidback voice from behind the pair. They both looked backward with a startled expression. "heh, looks like you seen a ghost." It was Sans, of course. He chuckled. "which is strange, cause i'm pretty sure i'm a skeleton."

"O-OH!" Alphys shouted as Frisk tilted their head. "H-Hi Sans."

"so what're you up to, alph?" 

"Um... how did you get in my apartment?" Alphys questioned him. She really had no idea. 

"heh, i took a shortcut?" He shrugged and pat Frisk on the head who motioned their head like they just rolled their eyes. "is this really the kinda content a kiddo should be watchin'?" He gestured at the screens.

"We-We are just curious!" Alphys blushed and gestured to the screen. Currently, it looks as though Papyrus is bragging about himself and Muffet is giving him a starry eyed smile. "It... It's so friggin' cute!" Frisk nodded profusely in the background.

"i guess," Sans didn't sound amused anymore. His voice seemed somewhat strained. "anyway, you should stop spyin' on people. its rude, right?" He looked at Frisk. "'sides, it sounds like you were about to say something about me to the kid that maybe isn't true."

"Uh-huh, sure," Alphys crossed her arms and gave Sans a sly smile. "You seem to forget that I know you pretty well, Sans."

"oh yeah?" Sans teased. "when was that?"

"Ugh, you know what I mean..." It was Alphys' turn to roll her eyes at the jokester. "Anyway, everyone knows you are kind of protective of Papyrus... I mean, I get why, but-"

"knock. knock." Sans interrupted.

"Who's there?" Alphys humored him.

"imma."

"Imma who?"

"imma gettin' outta here," Sans grabbed Frisk's hand in his own and winked at Alphys. "seeya."

 **-PLINK!-** With the blink of an eye, the two of them disappeared from Alphys' room. She looked all around the room. 

"W-W-WHAT????"

 

The dating pair walked past a bar. Not Grillby's, because, as Sans pointed out in chapter 1, its a bar and grill. No, this was a pre-existing human bar. As they walked past, a drunken man fell from the entrance with force. It was still midday, so this was concerning to say the least. 

The man cursed and swore up a storm, which caught Papyrus' attention. He turned around, worried about the state of the human. He had heard such words before, but mostly whenever Sans was intoxicated... or from Undyne in general. The human was very... muscular? In a round way. In some ways, they reminded him of the king. A big beard, but no horns. Or fluffy ears. Papyrus reached out to the human who seemed to be stumbling around.

"HUMAN! ARE YOU-?" Papyrus was about to ask when the human suddenly started to shout at Papyrus.

"Get your hands away from me, monster!" The human put up a pointed finger, though that finger pointed at Papyrus, Muffet, the sky, the ground...

"YES, I AM A MONSTER." Papyrus nodded in agreement. "I WILL RESPECT YOUR PERSONAL SPACE, HUMAN. TELL ME, WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP YOU?"

"I don't like your kind, coming here... trying to.. tryin' a... TAKE OUR JOBS!"

"TAKE YOUR JOBS?" Papyrus looked down at Muffet, who seemed to quickly wipe away some sort of scary face she was making. She smiled at Papyrus pleasantly.

"Ahuhu~ I think we should leave this puny human alone..." Muffet looked to the human with an even expression. "He is not worth the time of the great Mr. Papyrus..."

"You... You..." The drunk man shuffled around, mumbling. Papyrus put his hands on his hips and shook his head at Muffet. He seemed to be completely ignoring the human.

"THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAN MAKE TIME TO HELP ANY WHO ARE IN NEED OF AID, MY DEAR MS. MUFFET!" Papyrus corrected her. "WE CANNOT MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION ON THESE HUMANS IF WE IGNORE THEM!"

"Excuse me, buddy!" The human balanced himself. He started to poke at Papyrus' chest with every word. "You don't belong here! Get outta my country!"

"BUT," Papyrus looked down at the jutting finger, "I-I WAS BORN HERE?" Papyrus pointed downward.

"A wise guy? You should go back-" The human suddenly stopped talking.

"HUMAN? ARE YOU OKAY?"

The human was okay, mostly. Certainly, he was drunk and needed to work on his manners, but he was mostly okay. Physically. Mentally? 

Mentally he was freaking out.

Muffet's face was not its usual shape or form. Instead, her arms and legs had grown freakishly long as the human had touched her datemate. Her face grew more fiendish as several more eyes on her face opened, beyond her typical five, and her mouth opened up to show some vicious incisors. The human gave her a long look while Papyrus showed overwhelming concern for the human's well-being. A long, purple tongue started to slither out from her mouth as all her eyes narrowed on the human male.

That was about all he could handle. The human screamed and ran away.

Papyrus looked down at Muffet with a perplexed expression, and she returned it, blinking her five eyes. 

"I HOPE THAT HUMAN IS ALRIGHT..." He worried.

"Ahuhu~" Muffet giggled. "I am sure he is alright, Mr. Papyrus. You worry too much."

 

Papyrus walked Muffet back to her place. They stood in front of her apartment. Though it was not yet late out, Muffet had a job to do at Grillby's that evening. She teased him by inviting him to come visit her and delighted in seeing the tall skeleton squirm before her.

"OH, I WOULD... I WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, ESPECIALLY IN THAT DUMP. SUCH A," Papyrus struggled for words, "SUCH A FANCY DUMP."

"Relax, Mr. Papyrus," Muffet laid her most dominant hand on his chest. "It was a little joke... I know you don't like grease."

"YOU ARE CORRECT," Papyrus nodded grimly. A pink flush came to his cheeks as he said, "BUT I DO LIKE YOU."

"O... Oh?" Muffet suddenly felt her heart throb. She did like Papyrus. She liked him very much. However, this directness and the suddenness of it made her feel...

Vulnerable?

"YES, I LIKE YOU QUITE A LOT," Papyrus gently took the hand she placed on his chest into both of his. "I KNOW IT MIGHT BE SUDDEN, BUT, I ALWAYS ADMIRED YOU. THE WAY YOU SACRIFICED FOR YOUR PEOPLE. THE DETERMINED WAY YOU LOOKED WHENEVER YOU TALKED ABOUT YOUR FUTURE PLANS... I," Papyrus didn't realize it, but he had started to rub his thumbs against her palm. It was energizing her, but he hadn't yet noticed. "I REALLY ENJOY YOUR COMPANY. I HOPE WE CAN GO OUT AGAIN SOMETIME." He looked directly into her eyes.

Muffet went poof! She turned into a purple little fluff ball that Papyrus could play with in his hands. She took a deep breath and answered him.

"O-Oh, of course, Mr. Papyrus, I-I," She stammered in a way unlike herself. "I would very much like to go out with you again." Muffet started to lean forward, and lift to her tip toes.

In response, Papyrus released her hand and started to leave. "THAT IS GREAT NEWS! I WILL CALL YOU WHEN YOU ARE FREE!" 

Red in the face Muffet nodded.

"ER, PERHAPS YOU SHOULD CALL ME? SINCE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOUR WORK SCHEDULE IS ACTUALLY."

Again, she simply nodded. Papyrus ran off excitedly.

Muffet got into her house and found herself surrounded by her spiders. All of them eager to hear how the date went. In response, she let out a high pitched scream.

 

Sans blinked into existence along with Frisk back at the place he shared with Papyrus. Frisk threw up their arms exaggeratedly before falling onto the sofa with tightly crossed arms.

"kiddo, it aint a big deal, and honestly," Sans plopped down next to Frisk, "you are too young to be worrying about paps and his love life. this isn't like a fanfiction you and alphys are writing." He chuckled.

Frisk pouted at Sans before looking away. This whole thing was set off because of Sans' very incomplete story to them in the first place. Frisk helped Papyrus talk to Muffet... so Frisk at least deserved to see some action!

Some handholding action!

"i'm starting to think alph is a worse influence than me." Sans sighed as he dug his hand into the side of the couch. He seemed to be searching for something. "okay, yeah, i used to get a bit carried away a while back about papyrus and the people he chose to hang around. things were different back then. i needed to make sure my bro was safe... anyway, that part of our relationship is over. i'm  **sans** the overprotectiveness now, heh heh..."

Frisk rolled their eyes at Sans and nodded at Sans.

"now how's about some tv?" Sans finally pulled out a remote from inside the couch. He turned the tube on and Frisk settled in for a cartoon.

Sans looked at the tv, but he wasn't really watching it as actively as Frisk was. Instead, he seemed to be remembering something... The memory of some of his past deeds hung over him like a rainy cloud, arguments echoed in his skull like thunder, and he couldn't help but regret some of the things he had once said to his brother's new... _catch_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: From here on out, this fic will be a little more slice of life-y with some flash backs, maybe some zany arcs. It will remain mostly fluffy and silly, but I wanna explore some thingies.
> 
> Meanwhile a shadowy figure giggles in the distance...  
> ???: soon, i will make my appearance... and it will be truly...
> 
> ...
> 
> mystifying.


	11. I GUESS YOU COULD SAY THINGS ARE GETTING PRETTY SERIOUS...

Papyrus spent a good hour in front of a mirror admiring himself, but also scrutinizing every imperfection. He and his favorite spider lady spent every Saturday together, going out, but this time was different. This time...

They were going to watch Netflix and Chill.

The tall skeleton didn't understand the significance of this change of pace initially, but Undyne couldn't stop shouting about how quickly things were escalating. She stressed the key difference between his past dates and the upcoming one was crucial... Public space vs private place. 

"Which one of you suggested this?!" Undyne grabbed Papyrus by the shoulders and shook him.

"DON'T RATTLE THE SKELETON!" Papyrus pleaded. When Undyne stopped, he added gleefully, "MY DEAR MISS MUFFET SUGGESTED IT! WHY, HER IDEA WAS SO GREAT! WE ARE GOING TO WATCH EACH OTHER'S FAVORITE MOVIES!!!"

"OH. MY. GOD!" Undyne picked up Papyrus with ease and started to suplex him. Because she could. "PAPYRUS YOU DORK, THIS IS NEXT LEVEL STUFF!!!"

"AHHH!!!" Papyrus screamed as his head clunked against the ground. Randomly, there seemed to be a pillow where his head landed. He looked up to see his brother standing there with a mug of that hot, black liquid he liked to drink so much. "SANS! PICK UP YOUR PILLOW!!!" Papyrus sniffed at it. "IT SMELLS LIKE MYSTERIOUS GREASE... LIKE YOU!"

"sorry paps," Sans laughed, then took a sip of his coffee. "you know i'm useless without my cup o' joe in the morning."

"WHO'S JOE?"

"HAHAHA!!!" Undyne started to laugh as she let go of Papyrus. "Wow, nerd, for being a Smarty McFarty, you sure don't know words, do ya?"

"I KNOW PLENTY OF WORDS!" Papyrus huffed as he pulled himself from the ground. He sighed as he patted himself of dust. "SIGH. IT IS NOT THE GREAT PAPYRUS' FAULT FOR NOT KNOWING EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE."

"yea, undyne, cut my bro a break, will ya?" Sans gave her his best shiteating grin.

Usually, she would threaten to murder him, but instead she smirked. "Your brother got invited to Netflix and Chill."

Sans nearly spat out his coffee. "w-wh-wha-"

"IT SEEMS LIKE MISS MUFFET KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS!" Undyne screamed at the top of her lungs. "THEY ARE GOING TO CUDDLE ON THE COUCH AND WATCH NERD FLICKS!"

"C-CUDDLE?"/"cuddle?" The brothers exclaimed in unison. Papyrus with a deep blush, and Sans looking nonplussed. 

"i... i gotta go," Sans waddled away.

"WOWIE, A CUDDLE WITH MUFFET?" Papyrus practically swooned.

 

Undyne coached Papyrus and gave him a thumbs up when she left. She hoped with the amount of confidence he had that he and Muffet would finally put a label on their dang relationship! Maybe then she and Alphys could go on cute double dates with her bestie. 

Papyrus waited in front of the door to his abode clutching his own hands and rubbing them together nervously. He bathed himself at least twice! Undyne managed to convince him to wear something other than his battle body, so he wore a plain white shirt and a pair of jeans along with the red scarf Muffet had gifted him at the costume party. He still wore his gloves, as he always did. For some reason, he always felt weird about taking them off. He wondered for a moment how it would feel to have Muffet's hand on his own... it was hard to imagine, but it was quite tempting. 

Before he knew it, the doorbell rang. Papyrus immediately flung open the door. "G-GOOD EVENING, MISS MUFFET!"

"Hello, Mr. Papyrus," Muffet smiled up at him. "You look spiffy."

"OH, THANK YOU!" Papyrus beamed at her. "YOU LOOK QUITE SPIFFY YOURSELF!"

Muffet wore a pink dress with white stockings and pink ballerina slippers. She blushed somewhat and nodded her approval of his compliment. Papyrus' body was completely blocking the door. "May I come in, sweet?"

"Y-YES!" Papyrus stepped aside. "O-OF COURSE!"

The spider took a step into his home and looked around. The living room was quaint and small, though she found it intriguing that there were very comfy blankets on the sofa. She gazed up at her suitor, who seemed even more nervous than usual.

Someone tipped of her sweet and innocent love interest about the implications of this date... No matter. He would still struggle and squirm the way she liked to see. Muffet went over and sat on the sofa. It was extra comfy and poofy. She hoped she would visit it more often in the future if things went well tonight.

Papyrus shut the door finally and walked up to her. "COULD I GET YOU ANYTHING, MISS MUFFET?"

"Hmmmm..." Muffet leaned back thought. "Maybe we should make some popcorn?"

"POPCORN? I THINK WE DO HAVE THAT HANDY!" Papyrus grinned. "WOULD YOU LIKE SOMETHING TO DRINK WITH THAT?"

"Water, please," Muffet stated and Papyrus was off.

"hey." Sans said from his seated position next to Muffet.

Muffet was hardly startled by Sans' sudden presence. 

"Hello, Sans," Muffet smiled at him. "Will you be joining Papyrus and I?"

"oh, no," Sans shook his head. "i'm gonna be working in my room. just wanted to say hi." He stood up and put his hands into his hoodie pockets. "if you need anything, i'll be nearby. okay?"

"That is good to know." Muffet nodded. "I will keep it in mind, Sans."

"no prob," Sans started to walk away and down into a hallway. "just don't do anything i wouldn't do."

"Mhmmm." Muffet kept herself from making a face as Sans disappeared down the hall. 

All in all, that was one of the nicest warnings he had given her so far. Maybe he was changing his tune after all.

 

Papyrus sat next to Muffet, but with an entire body's worth of space between them. Muffet had the blanket on her lap. The tv played one of Papyrus' favorite films first. He was so excited to show it to her that she decided to let him go first. The film was an animated cartoon about super heroes. Apparently the red and fast one was his most favorite. As scenes played out, Muffet started to scoot closer to her prey. He was so focused on the movie, he didn't even realize she was almost touching him, so when he turned to look at her reaction to something on the screen, he immediately turned beet red.

"O-OH! MISS MUFFET," Papyrus looked down at her. "ARE YOU COLD OR SOMETHING?"

"Oh yes, Mr. Papyrus, I am." Muffet slid until her leg was pressed against his. "Would you mind wearing this blanket too?"

"ANYTHING TO MAKE YOU MORE COMFORTABLE!" Papyrus exclaimed as he pulled the blanket to cover his legs too. "BETTER?"

"Almost..." Muffet's arms that were closest to Papyrus slithered behind him and around. Instinctively, Papyrus put his arm around Muffet and she took the invitation to lean into him. "There we go. Isn't this nice?"

"YES, ACTUALLY," Papyrus grinned as he turned his attention back to the film. "THIS IS A PRETTY COZY WAY TO BE!"

After the super hero movie ended, Muffet took the remote and started to play her chosen film. It was a claymation masterpiece about a certain skeleton who becomes Santa Claus. She did love the film enough for it to be her favorite, but the truth was she wondered if Papyrus had seen it and if not... how would he react?

As soon as the skeleton appeared in the film, Papyrus gasped.

"WOWIE! A SKELETON! DO YOU SEE THAT, MISS MUFFET? DID YOU KNOW THERE WAS A SKELETON IN THIS MOVIE?"

"I do and did, my sweet," Muffet nuzzled his chest. "This is the movie I picked, remember?"

"RIGHT." Papyrus took a deep breath as she nuzzled. Whenever she did that, it made the feelings in his chest expand and feel both heavy and light at the same time. He really couldn't pinpoint whether it was a spectacular feeling or a feeling of total and eclipsing dread.

As the film progressed and Muffet complimented the singing talent of the skeleton character and adorable romance between him and the ragdoll woman, Papyrus started to seem a little... agitated. He folded his arms and tapped his gloved fingers against his elbow. 

"YES, HE DOES SING QUITE NICELY, BUT," Papyrus said this with all seriousness, "CAN HE EVEN MAKE YOU SPAGHETTI?"

"Ahuhu~" Muffet giggled. "Are you jealous, my sweet?"

"J-JEALOUS?!" Papyrus huffed. "I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS! I AM INCAPABLE OF FEELING PETTY FEELINGS!!!"

"What if I told you he was my first crush...?" Muffet teased.

"ARGH!" Papyrus whined and stood up. "MISS MUFFET! I MUST INSIST THAT YOU... THAT YOU..."

"That I?" What was he going to ask her? To stop watching the movie? 

"THAT YOU ALLOW ME... A CHANCE TO WOO YOU OFF YOUR FEET!" Papyrus finished. "I DON'T HAVE A SONG PREPARED, BUT, I HAVE NEVER LET THAT STOP ME BEFORE!!!"

"You... you want to sing me a song, Mr. Papyrus?" Muffet put a hand on her mouth, suddenly embarrassed... but not in a bad way. It was overwhelming to think he would suddenly serenade her.

Suddenly, the world went black and white. Muffet could hear the jingling of bells and a familiar tune kick in. Papyrus... wasn't prepared? She raised an eye in the same way someone with eyebrows might raise them incredulously. 

"I DON'T WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS..." Papyrus began. His voice, despite its usual shrillness, sounded pleasant as he sang. "THERE IS JUST ONE THING I NEED."

Muffet's blush deepened. Oh no. This was actually happening.

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE PRESENTS... UNDERNEATH THE GYFTROT TREE!" Papyrus placed his hand on his chest as if to better control his voice. "I JUST WANT YOU FOR MY OWN... MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW! MAKE MY WISH COME TRUE!!!"

Papyrus took a step toward Muffet and put a finger under her chin. "MUFFET, ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS... IS YOU~"

POOF! She was instantly a purple fluff ball again.

A spotlight shone in the far corner of the room. For some reason Sans had a keyboard piano and was playing percussion music on it and the melody. What. The. Heck. Was. This. Papyrus took a step back again and seemed to really get into the groove.

"I DON'T WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS, THERE IS JUST ONE THING I NEED~"

"and i~" Yes. Sans was now providing backup vocals.

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE PRESENTS UNDERNEATH THE GYFTROT TREE!

"I DON'T NEED TO HANG MY PUZZLES THERE UPON THE FIREPLACE," Papyrus pointed at the entertainment center. There wasn't a fireplace there.

"its off~" Sans sang an explanation.

"SANTA CLAUS WON'T MAKE ME HAPPY WITH A TOY ON CHRISTMAS DAY.

"I JUST WANT YOU FOR MY OWN. MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW." Papyrus got ready to belt it out. "MAKE MY WISH COME TRUE~ MUFFET," Papyrus got on his knees and took Muffet by her dominant hands. "ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOOOU~"

"ooo." Sans seemed to be enjoying this more than anyone would have guessed.

With that, the song ended and color returned to the world. Sans was nowhere to be seen.

"HOW DID YOU LIKE THAT?"

The little, purple fluff known as Muffet let out a small. "Meep."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans: isn't it a bit early for christmas stuff
> 
> Me: MARIAH CARY IS NEVER OUT OF SEASON!!!!!!


	12. The New Job

"You are going to do so well, my sweet," Muffet pat a sad Papyrus on the skull. "Aren't you the popular and prestigious Mr. Papyrus?"

"NYOH HOH... YES, I AM," The crying skeleton nodded. "I AM VERY POPULAR. VERY PRESTIGIOUS."

"Indeed..." Muffet grinned at him. "If you were not qualified, the king would not have hired you for this monumental task."

"TRUE, TRUE," Papyrus nodded. He enjoyed having his ego stroked especially by his lovely... his lovely... Friend? "I TRULY AM A MONUMENT TO THE GREATNESS OF MONSTERS! I CAN CERTAINLY DO A LITTLE TOUR GUIDE WORK, NYEH HEH HEH!!!" He shot up from his seated position and towered over Muffet as he usually did. "THANK YOU FOR THE PEP TALK, MISS MUFFET! I... I WILL GIVE YOU A CALL ONCE MY JOB THERE IS DONE!"

"Please do, Mr. Papyrus," Muffet cooed at him. "I will miss you until then..."

 

Papyrus got a job being a tour guide for the Underground, specifically Snowdin and Waterfall. Why did he get a job? That is a little complicated.

You see, Papyrus started to feel... embarrassed. Muffet usually paid for all their meals, movie tickets, entry fees, etc. That was a little embarrassing. Papyrus would sometimes ask Sans for money to get Muffet gifts... and that, too, started to feel embarrassing. Really, really embarrassing. Papyrus had never felt embarrassed about these things before, but with everyone pitching in monetary means except Papyrus... well, it started to get to him. After speaking with Undyne, she gave him the answer to all his money problems.

"GET A JOB, DWEEB!" Undyne slapped Papyrus on the back.

"PLEASE DON'T ASSAULT THE SKELETON!" He pleaded with her. She slapped him on the back again.

"Listen, Papyrus..." Her tone became serious. "I am talking to you as a friend. Muffet and you... are you boyfriend and girlfriend yet?"

"ER... I... I DON'T KNOW." Papyrus answered honestly.

"Listen," Undyne closed her eyes and seemed to enter a strange state of zen. Wisdom poured from her lips like water, "Classy chicks like Muffet think boys like you are cute and all. I mean, you are a total dweeb! But! If you don't show her you are a, like, adult... she might leave you."

"GASP!" 

"You need a job, Papyrus, and once you have more money, start paying for some of your dates," Undyne continued her lecture, "You will go from being a broke goober... TO BEING A COOL DUDE WHO PAYS FOR HIS GIRLFRIEND'S SHIT ON OCCASION!"

 

While Papyrus was out working, Muffet stayed in her home. It was her day off and she enjoyed it the best she could. Her entire apartment looked like a Halloween garage sale. Spider webs covered most things except for places Papyrus would be, such as her sofa or his favorite chair. Muffet lounged on her sofa with a book as she absentmindedly stroked her pet, Cupcake. Cupcake was not necessarily a spider-like Muffet's underlings. But he wasn't necessarily like Muffet either. Even Muffet wasn't quite sure what he was, but she enjoyed him anyway. 

Muffet's reading was interrupted by a rapping at her door. Curious, she approached it and looked into the peephole. The spider couldn't see anyone. She opened her door to peer around the corners and found Frisk standing there instead. Muffet was pleasantly surprised.

"Oh Frisk, how grand! I wasn't expecting you," Muffet made room for Frisk to step in if needed. Cupcake borked from the couch but looked too comfortable to get up. "Did you need something?"

Frisk moseyed on in and took a seat in Papyrus' favorite chair. Muffet smiled knowing that Papyrus would love to know Frisk visited and sat in his chair. Frisk gave Muffet a dreamy look as Muffet finished closing the door behind her and took a seat opposite of Frisk on the couch. Cupcake curled up near Muffet, happy to be near his master again.

"Ahuhu~ You are so direct, Frisk," Muffet giggled from behind the back of her hand. "You want to inquire about my relationship status with that handsome bottle of milk?" 

Frisk raised an eyebrow at the strange nicknames Muffet seemed to throw out randomly about Papyrus but nodded anyway.

"Well, we are not official, but... would it be strange to admit I consider us official?" Muffet smiled at Frisk. "Why do you ask?"

Frisk smirked and rubbed their chin.

"So nosy~" Muffet cooed. "It is too soon to think about marriage. It's only been a few months, sweet Frisk. Though... I probably wouldn't say no."

Frisk blushed deeply and leaned in. Muffet continued.

"Do not say this to anyone, but... I've always been into Papyrus. Ever since he wandered into my cave," Muffet enjoyed the look on Frisk's face. It was also nice to say the words out loud to someone other than her spiderlings and Cupcake. She started to stroke Cupcake absentmindedly. "He is such a sweet person. He is fairly earnest... even if he lies a bit often." Frisk nodded grimly. Papyrus had a problem with not explaining his real feelings to people, though Frisk was glad to hear they weren't the only ones aware of that. "We are still in a honeymoon period of our dating, but I have never felt more happy or secure than my time spent with him. I guess we will see, won't we, Frisk?" Muffet's intense petting of Cupcake ended abruptly. Muffet gestured to the ceiling where a teapot hung overhead. "Would you care for some tea?"

 

Papyrus led groups of humans around on his tours of Snowdin and Waterfall. So many humans wanted to visit places of the Underground, and despite the fact that Papyrus was paid for his work by the king, many humans insisted on giving him money themselves. He didn't fully understand this, but accept the money anyway. Small humans, like Frisk, seemed to like Papyrus as much as Frisk did. He worried about creating a generation of small humans that wanted to be taken to the bone zone, and sighed on his breaks. How could he set them up for such woe and sadness?

For money to buy Muffet something nice!

"NOW HUMANS, THIS MAY, NYEH HEH, SHOCK YOU, BUT THIS IS WHERE THE HUMAN KNOWN AS FRISK AND I ONCE BATTLED WITS!" Papyrus announced as he and his group stood at the electricity maze puzzle. It was inactive, but the humans ooo'd and ahh'd. The small humans started to walk around it, laughing and giggling. "FRISK AND I BONDED OVER THESE BATTLES! WE ARE NOW THE BEST OF FRIENDS!!!"

"Can we be friends with you too, Mr. Papyrus?" A little human in a dress poked at Papyrus' leg. Their parents seemed to start recording this interaction.

"WHY OF COURSE, SMALL HUMAN!" Papyrus pat her on the head. "YOU ARE AN INCREDIBLE PERSON! I AM SURE WE WILL BE BEST FRIENDS SOON!"

The little human smiled wide and danced around Papyrus as the other small humans joined in the calls for being friends with Mr. Papyrus. Papyrus couldn't help but blush deeply at the love and praise.

This was the perfect job for him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PAPYRUS GET A JOB!! - me
> 
> OKAY. - Papyrus
> 
> Oh... I thought there would be more drama about this... - me
> 
> HMM? - Papyrus
> 
> You know, drama! Action! A fist fight!!! - me
> 
> WHO WOULD WANNA FIST FIGHT ME? HAVE YOU SEEN MY MUSCLES??? - Papyrus, beginning to pull out sunglasses for his biceps.
> 
> UHM, good point! eheheheh... - me
> 
> \--- 5 hours later ---
> 
> What would cause drama? hm hm hmmm... - me... looks over at Sans who is innocently putting whoopie cushions in all the seats at Grillby's.


	13. A Cold, November Date

Papyrus stood before Muffet's door and knocked. No reply. He knocked again. Slowly, he heard the doorknob turn. It clicked every 10 degrees it turned until the door cracked open ever so slightly. "MISS MUFFET?" Papyrus called out tentatively. The inside of her apartment was dark. None of the lights were on. Papyrus leaned into her apartment and found that Muffet's spiderlings had opened the door for Papyrus. He blinked a few times as he carefully stepped inside. After a fatal accident involving his boot and the floor of Muffet's apartment, Papyrus was as mindful as possible about where he took a step. 

Cupcake, Muffet's pet, appeared from the dark hallway in front of him, borking. He blinked his beady eyes up at the skeleton and turned and waited. As if beckoning Papyrus to follow him... Papyrus closed and locked Muffet's door to the relief of her spiderlings, and followed Cupcake inside. Papyrus' SOUL started to beat quickly as he ventured further in. He never went past Muffet's bathroom before, and he felt his knees start to get weak. What was happening? Were... were they going to snuggle!?

The strange spider-dog led Papyrus to the door at the end of the hall, which Papyrus understood as Muffet's bedroom. He gulped as Cupcake nudged the door open to show it was alright for Papyrus to step inside. The inside of the room reminded Papyrus very much of that film they watched together a while back. The one with that dreaded handsome skeleton. Her bed frame was black and white with purple comforters. She had several bat, pumpkin, spider, and skeleton shaped pillows littered throughout the floor and bed. A dark canopy hung over the bed... and over Muffet. She was tucked into the bed with what seemed like a wet hand towel on her forehead. Papyrus had seen this before! In one of those human histories that Undyne begged him to watch, a human was ill and another human came to care for the said human. Undyne seemed very invested in the episode and turned red a lot. Papyrus didn't understand it but was thankful for the knowledge.

"MISS MUFFET, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" Papyrus asked as he stood inside the door frame. His feet wouldn't take him any further in without her permission. He heard a light groan and her voice, but it was so faint and light that Papyrus couldn't understand what she had said. "MAY I COME IN? I DIDN'T CATCH WHAT YOU SAID." One of her arms appeared from under the comforter and beckoned him closer. He obliged and took a knee at her bedside. With a closer look, even in the darkness, Papyrus could see that Muffet's face was flush and wet, but since she wasn't smiling he could assume it was bad. "ARE YOU SICK?"

"M-Mr. Pap...y..." Muffet wheezed, then went into a sneezing fit. She covered her mouth with the blanket and looked embarrassed. "Sorry... I am not well... I can't go out today..."

Papyrus waited for more, but she just looked at him. Papyrus couldn't help but feel horrible. She looked very miserable, but she also seemed a little lonely. He could tell by the look in her eyes. It was the same look she had whenever it was time to part. He was certain she wasn't even aware of it. He took a deep breath and said, "THAT IS FINE! WE WILL HAVE OUR DATE HERE."

"Mr. Papy... You don't have to do that, you... might get sick too." Muffet managed to breath out. Her voice usually had a ring of surety and decisiveness that was completely absent. Papyrus couldn't read it, but he felt that she didn't really want him to leave. "I will be okay... Cupcake is here... he's such a good boy..."

"THAT IS TRUE, CUPCAKE IS QUITE THE GOOD BOY!" Papyrus pat Cupcake on the head. The little spider-dog borked appreciatively. "HOWEVER! I, TOO, AM A GOOD BOY!" Papyrus stood suddenly and posed. "WHAT SORT OF SKELETON WOULD I BE IF I LEFT MY... MY... MUFFET TO FEEL SO SICK BY HERSELF!!!" He nearly called her his girlfriend, and for a moment Muffet gave him an intense look. "I CAN'T DO THAT TO YOU, SO I WON'T. I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SHALL TAKE CARE OF YOU! YOU WILL FEEL SO GOOD BY THE END OF THIS DATING SESSION THAT YOU WON'T FEEL SICK ANYMORE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!!!"

"O-Oh..." Muffet gave up easily. She gave him a happy, little smile. It looked a little goofy, given her sick state and inability to control her image via the use of make-up and being self-aware. "Thank you, Mr... Mr. Papy..."

 

Papyrus stood in Muffet's kitchen wearing his apron. He never leaves home without it! It merely stays folded up inside his battle body along with other items he may need in the future. He had used her kitchen once before when she was instructing him on how to make donuts, though Papyrus figured a sugary treat was not what Muffet needed currently. He thought back to the ANIME... soup! He investigated the contents of Muffet's fridge and pantry. She had literally nothing in there aside from things to bake with. This was troubling. Papyrus pulled out his cellular phone and dialed the best cook he knew other than himself...

"Oh! Why Papyrus, what a pleasant surprise," Came a motherly voice on the other line. It was Toriel. "How are you dear? I thought I read in Sans' daily texts that you were on a date with Miss Muffet today... Is something wrong?" Toriel was a bit of a worrier, which suited the moment perfectly this time around. Papyrus rarely called her, because she always seemed to worry about where he was and how he was doing. Then he felt guilty for NOT calling her. It was truly a dangerous tango of guilt and slight annoyance. Yet, he couldn't argue that Toriel wasn't an amazing monster and friend.

"MISS TORIEL," Papyrus got straight to the point, "MISS MUFFET IS SICK, AND HER KITCHEN HAS ALMOST NOTHING IN IT! I THINK MAKING HER SOME SOUP WOULD HELP CURE HER ILLNESS, BUT I AM ACTUALLY COMPLETELY AT A LOSS FOR WHAT TO DO!!!"

"Oh no! That is no good, Papyrus," Toriel's concern seemed to deepen at the news. "Give me a few moments... I will be there shortly." Click.

Papyrus blinked. He wasn't sure what he was expecting...

 

He spent the time waiting for Toriel cleaning Muffet's home. She kept an immaculate home despite the cobwebs... since they were a feature. He dusted the walls, mopped the kitchen floor, wiped the counters... Then he heard knocking. Papyrus swung open the door with a big smile on his face.

"OH TORIEL, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR- HEY!!!" Papyrus' gaze moved downward as he noticed his brother standing beside the goat woman. He was holding bags of groceries. "SANS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING???"

"heh, paps, it's my mandatory lunch hour," Sans winked. "besides, can i really let my bro get into a pinch and not throw him a bone?"

"UGH, AS USUAL, YOUR JOKES ARE LOWER THAN ALPHYS' SELF-ESTEEM," Papyrus shook his head as Toriel giggled. "COME IN, I SUPPOSE. JUST TRY NOT TO MAKE A HUGE MESS WHILE YOU ARE HERE!!!"

The pair moved into the kitchen, and Sans placed the grocery bags on the kitchen counters. He started to unbag, while Toriel moved to the stove. "Oh! Papyrus, where are her pots?"

"ya mean this pot, tori?" Sans gestured at a potted Venus fly trap in Muffet's small dining room. Toriel giggled.

"UGH, GET A ROOM," Papyrus commented as he got on his knees and fished through Muffet's cooking cabinets to find suitable pots for Toriel to teach him how to cook. He pulled out a pair. "MISS TORIEL, WOULD YOU MIND TEACHING ME HOW TO MAKE SOUP? SINCE I AM SUCH A MASTER OF SPAGHETTI AT THIS POINT, I FIGURE I CAN LEARN HOW TO MAKE SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS SOUP-" Papyrus gazed up to see Toriel and Sans looking incredibly bashful and quiet. They weren't even looking at each other. Papyrus thought to himself, 'AND THEY THINK I'M THE NAIVE ONE. NYEH!'

"O-of course, Papyrus," Toriel smiled, happy to talk about something other than her relationship, or lack of one, with Sans. "N-Now, let's start by melting butter in these pots..."

Toriel walked Papyrus through cooking what seemed to be Chicken Noodle soup. Papyrus wondered as he followed her direction, is any of these techniques could be applied to make a soupy spaghetti! Chicken spaghetti soup! Sans, of course, didn't help other than bringing in the groceries. He otherwise just punned it up the whole time.

"believe me, paps, muffet will think this soup is _pho_ nomenal," Sans winked in Papyrus and Toriel's general direction. "gotta really hand it to ya bro, your soup smells _soup_ erb."

"YES, IT DOES, DOESN'T IT," Papyrus employed a new tactic he heard from Muffet. It was called, 'just ignore your brother when he can't stop punning.'

"Yes, and we used plenty of henway," Toriel beamed at Papyrus. He gave her a confused look.

"WE DID? WHAT'S A HENWAY?"

"About two pounds!" Toriel exploded with laughter. Sans joined her, practically crying at the majesty of her joke. Papyrus was NOT prepared for this.

"OH! MY! GOD!" Papyrus shoved the two of them out of Muffet's apartment. "THANKS SO MUCH FOR HELPING, ETC.! I'LL BE SURE TO CALL UNDYNE THE NEXT TIME I NEED COOKING HELP!"

"but paps, my wallets still-" Sans started as Papyrus slammed the door in his brother's face. He clasped his hands together as if he had just taken out the garbage, and prepared to bring the soup he prepared to Muffet.

 

Papyrus placed the bowl of chicken noodle soup on the black nightstand by Muffet's bed. She gave him a kind smile and tried to sit up. She seemed to be struggling.

"WOULD YOU MIND IF I HELPED YOU?" Papyrus held his gloved hands out to her. 

"Y-You may..." She squeaked. Papyrus placed a pillow on the wall of her bed, then put a hand on her back and another on her waist and helped pull her into a seated position. For Papyrus, the touch didn't seem to affect him. After all, he was just helping her sit up so she could eat. However, Muffet turned into a purple fluff ball as he touched her waist in particular. After he pulled away, she turned back to normal. "T-Thank you..." Her stuttering was due to being so sick, right?

"HERE IS THE SOUP I HAVE PREPARED FOR YOU, MISS MUFFET!" Papyrus held out the bowl in front of her. "I THINK YOU WILL FIND IT QUITE DELICIOUS! IT IS A LITTLE SALTY, BUT I READ SOMEWHERE THAT GIRLS DON'T MIND THAT TOO MUCH."

"Eh?" She tilted her head before picking up the spoon and taking a sip. Papyrus' cooking rivaled her own past cooking. She would try to eat the soup but had a backup plan to say she was feeling too queasy to eat anything if the meal turned out too gross. She had heard the ex-Queen's voice as well as Sans', so she wasn't sure what to expect. After the sip, she felt the warmth of the broth trickle down her throat and it made her feel pleasant. Happy. She started to eat spoonfuls ravenously. Papyrus could apparently cook well with enough supervision!

"SO YOU LIKE IT?" Papyrus looked nervous and sweaty as Muffet devoured the entire soup in the span of minutes. "I'M WORRIED I ADDED TOO MUCH BUTTER. MISS TORIEL SAID-"

"I love it," Muffet interrupted him suddenly. She looked up at Papyrus. "I... I love..."

"YOU LOVE IT!" Papyrus put both hands on his cheekbones. "YOU LOVE MY COOKING! I MEAN, I HAD NO DOUBTS, BUT SOMETIMES I WORRY..."

"I really love it..." Muffet seemed to be welling up with tears in her eyes. "I love it so much..."

Papyrus felt moved. No one had ever said anything like this about his cooking. Yet, he felt a sense of dread. Muffet looked over to him, and despite being so sick, she still looked very pretty. She started to look better already, which made sense. Toriel taught him a trick to make human food a bit more magical. Muffet seemed to be leaning up now with all her strength, which was still low. She used a hand to beckon him closer, as she used all her other hands to prop herself up. Papyrus leaned down, but she beckoned him even closer. Nervous, he felt his body getting very hot. Beads of sweat formed on his face from the intense  _feeling_ he started to have in his SOUL. 

Their faces were inches apart, and Muffet's free hand was now on Papyrus' face. "Mr. Papy... I love..."

"YOU LOVE MY COOKING?" Papyrus answered nervously. Of course, she wasn't playing a guessing game with him. She inched up closer to his face, her three middle eyes closed.

"I do, but, I also love..." Her eyes on the fair end began to close as her hand seemed to lead Papyrus' face closer to her's.

"YOU LOVE... DONUTS?" Papyrus looked around the room wildly. He could feel his SOUL pound inside his chest. He felt like it was going to pop.

"Mr. Papy, don't you see... I love..." So close... Her lips were so close to his face. But... but...!

"OH! SANS LEFT HIS WALLET HERE..." Papyrus suddenly pulled away. "I WILL MESSAGE YOU LATER, OKAY? I SHOULD LET YOU GET MORE REST... I WILL SPEAK WITH YOU LATER, MISS MUFFET."

With that, Papyrus took the bowl and walked to the door frame. Muffet had a few tears fall from her eyes.

 

Before Papyrus left, he cleaned her dishes up, pocketed Sans' wallet in his battle body, and shouted an awkward goodbye down the hall to her room. He left her apartment building and heard the spiderlings lock the door. Papyrus started to walk. He wasn't sure where he was walking to until he regained some of his senses. It was... Grillby's? Ah, yes. Sans would likely be present.

He walked in and immediately found Sans. He was being lectured at by Grillby about playing too many practical jokes at the bar. Sans promised not to do it again... to every table. Grillby seemed satisfied with that. Sans turned around and was shocked to see Papyrus standing in the doorway.

"hey papyrus, what's up?" Sans waved Papyrus over. They took a seat at the bar. "it's awfully cold outside, but you look like you went from the frying pan and into the fire, no offense, grillbs."

Grillby simply shook his head and went to serve another customer. 

"HERE IS YOUR WALLET, SANS," Papyrus dropped it on the counter space in front of Sans. 

"thanks, but that doesn't answer my question, pal."

"IT'S NOTHING. REALLY!"

"oh, it's nothing?" Sans chuckled. "you never come to grillby's unless i beg ya too. c'mon, what's goin' down? did you and muffet fight or something?"

"NO."

"you didn't... you..." Sans' pinpricks disappeared for a moment as sweat started to form on his chrome dome.

"NO!" Papyrus interrupted Sans. "WE DIDN'T CUDDLE!"

"er, that's not what i was gonna say, but, okay. kinda answers that question," Sans leaned his head onto his hand. "wait, what do you think cuddling is?"

"YOU KNOW... WHEN A MONSTER LOVES ANOTHER VERY MUCH, THEY... THEY CUDDLE!" Papyrus blushed as he whispered to the best of his ability what he thought cuddling was. 

"um..." Sans looked around the room. Grillby seems to have overheard this and shook his head deeply. Sans was definitely not a good mom or dad. "sure. anyway. what happened? it wasn't nothing."

"WELL... I THINK MISS MUFFET WANTED TO... WANTED TO..."

"cuddle?"

"NO! SHE WANTED TO... KISS ME," Papyrus breathed. 

"huh," Sans sounded very relieved all of a sudden. Even cheery. "i figured you'd done that already."

"NO, AND HOW COULD I HAVE DONE IT ALREADY!" Papyrus craddled his skull in his hands as he started to sob. "NYOH HOH... I DON'T HAVE ANY LIPS, SANS!!!" He looked up for a moment, tears streaming from his skull. "I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY L-L-LI-LIPS!!!"

"there, there, bro," Sans pat Papyrus' back. "it's gonna be fine... i guess i am not really the best guy to talk to about this, but i'm the only guy you got. listen... paps... the thing with the lips... that's a joke."

"H-HUH?" 

"i mean, yea, we don't have lips... normally," Sans stated. Papyrus peeked up from his woeful position once more as he listened. "but, i mean, it's not like we can't kiss people..."

"W-WHAT!?" Papyrus' expression turned to one of anger. "SO... SO YOU MEAN I COULD HAVE...!"

"woops," Sans shrugged. 

"WOOPS," Papyrus deadpanned. "WOOPS... TELL ME. HOW DO WE KISS!?"

"this is awkward... look... i'll tell ya in privacy..."

"HUH?"

"i think some nosy nelly has been following me around, yea?" Sans looked around the room, as if the person he spoke of was there in that moment. "i'll explain it. promise."

"YOU BETTER!" Papyrus stood up with a huff. "I COULD HAVE GOTTEN A KISS! A KISS FROM MISS MUFFET!!!"

"yea, yea," Sans rolled his pinpricks around. "it'll be swell. at least you didn't kiss her until you became her _bone_ friend."

"HA HA HA," Papyrus fake laughed as he exited Grillby's. "YEAH, HA HA HA. DEFINITELY." With that, Papyrus left.

"heh..." Sans chuckled as he saw a few humans watching the scene. He said to them aloud. "isn't my brother the coolest?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Dragonsrule18 for inspiration on this chapter. I swapped the sick roles around because I think Papyrus is so helpless that it's cute. Wooo~ - me
> 
> WOW, THAT NERD THINKS CUDDLING WAS THE HORIZONTAL SLIDE!? - Undyne
> 
> Hmm, maybe? - me
> 
> What do you mean, 'maybe'!? He described baby making! - Undyne
> 
> Yeah... but does he know HOW the baby making happens...? - me
> 
> Oh... - Undyne, blushy 
> 
> \---5 more hours later---
> 
> maybe we should peek at what good ol' sans is up to, huh? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm - me, still spying on sans, who walks home in order to tell Papyrus a dark secret - HOW SKELETONS CAN KISS WITHOUT ANY LIPS


	14. The G-Word

Papyrus sat in his room, blank faced, as Sans left. They just had the talk. The talky talk talk talk. That talk... about... Papyrus got up after a moment of silence and ventured out into the hallway. He heard the front door click locked in the distance, and knew Sans must've left to have a drink at the bar while he worked his job. Papyrus would have grumbled, but instead, he walked into their bathroom. The bathroom, a place of torture and sadness... The brothers were eating more and more human food lately, namely, because it was cheaper. Also, Muffet liked to eat at human places. The first time Papyrus had to use the facilities of the bathroom had scarred him, but he wouldn't let a silly thing like that defeat him!

However, the bathroom was just one key piece about the talk Sans gave. Papyrus couldn't bring himself to think about it, but remembered instead the second piece of information Sans left him. It seemed more crucial than the talk about how they were using the bathroom since moving up to the surface. No, he thought about the other thing Sans told him.

"papyrus, have you ever noticed... that you have eyebrows?" Sans asked.

"HMM? WHAT ABOUT THAT?"

"well. i don't have eyebrows."

"THAT IS TRUE, SANS! YOU DON'T! IT IS BECAUSE YOU DON'T APPLY YOURSELF-"

"exactly. i mean, i can have eyebrows like yours if i wanna, but i'm just not up for it. but you, papyrus, you always have eyebrows. not only are you a skeleton that **has** eyebrows, but you can gesture with them."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, EXACTLY?" Papyrus gave his brother a squint.

"you are doin' it right now, bro. you are giving me a shifty look, and your eyebrow is narrowing. yeah, your eyebrow isn't hair, its just bone... but you have an eyebrow, paps. skeletons don't normally have those."

This opened a new door of thought in Papyrus' mind. He never thought about things from that perspective before. It explained... a little bit. Papyrus stood in front of the mirror and made several different expressions. Each one affected his eyebrows. They narrowed, they ascended, they made him look incredulous... Sans wasn't wrong. Skeletons don't have that! So...

Papyrus spent a good deal of time trying to get his face to do other things. 

 

After a long time practicing, Papyrus noted that his cellular phone rang from inside his bedroom. The skeleton looked at his wrist and found no watch, but immediately realized he was late! He ran into his room and picked up his phone. The voice on the other line shouted so loudly, they may have well been in the same room as him. He felt like the room was quaking from their anger.

"PAPYRUS, GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE OR I WILL SUPLEX YOU BACK TO TUESDAY!" Undyne shouted into the receiver of her phone. She stood at nearby movie theater that actually would sell tickets to monsters. Alphys and Muffet stood in the background, seeming to have a pleasant conversation despite Undyne's outbursts. 

"I AM SO SORRY, UNDYNE! BELIEVE ME, I WAS PRACTICING FOR SOMETHING IMPORTANT!" Papyrus pleaded as he started to stuff his battle body with his wallet and other items.

"I WILL FORGIVE YOU, NERD, BUT YOU NEED TO COME DRESSED NICELY! STOP WEARING THAT DAMN COSPLAY!" Undyne warned him over the phone. Muffet tilted her head as she heard that. Alphys shrugged. Undyne put her mouth closer to the receiver and covered her words with her free hand. She whispered, "Papyrus, you can wear that cosplay every day forever for all I care, but please try to look nice. Wear that thing Toriel bought for you on your birthday."

"BUT UNDYNE, HOW WILL I BE MUFFET'S KNIGHT IF I AM NOT-"

"NO BUTS!" Undyne still covered the conversation by hand, but it obviously didn't keep the other girls from hearing the conversation. "LOOK CUTE OR DIE!" With that, Undyne hung up. She looked over at the other girls with a big, toothy smile. "He'll be here!"

"I'm sorry he is so late," Muffet apologized for Papyrus, "He is usually on time for things."

"He told me he was practicing for something important..." Undyne smirked down at the little spider-girl. Muffet merely smiled back.

"A-Anyway!" Alphys interjected. "Um... Should we find somewhere to s-sit down and w-wait for him or-"

"THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS ARRIVED!" Came the uniquely shrill, yet still cute sounding, voice. Everyone turned to see Papyrus burst through the door of the theater. He wore a nice, gray suit. The sort of suit you would wear to someone elses' wedding or other important occasions. Toriel noted that both Sans and Papyrus lacked such a vital piece of clothing and purchased them each one for their respective birthdays. The suit came with a red tie, a gray waistcoat, and bone-shaped cufflinks. Papyrus looked nervous once he spotted his Muffet standing by Alphys. They seemed to be almost the exact same size. Papyrus would normally be amazed by this information, but instead walked up to the pair of them. He pulled at his lapel in hopes that he looked more dashing that nervous. "HOW DO I LOOK, MISS MUFFET? I WASN'T ALLOWED TO APPEAR IN MY KNIGHT'S CLOTHING, BUT I HOPE THIS SUFFICES FOR NOW."

Muffet gawked at him. She was slowly transforming into a purple puff, until Alphys coughed awkwardly. This snapped Muffet out of her trance. "O-Oh, you are mighty handsome, Mr. Papyrus."

"WOWIE! A COMPLIMENT!" Papyrus instantly blushed and held up his hands to his face. His hands were still gloved in their usual fashion.

"Alright, alright, we get it Papyrus." Undyne pulled at the back of Papyrus' coat, forcing him to stand up straight as he was hovering over Muffet nearly causing a PG-rated scene. "We get it, you are TOTALLY HOT, but let's get our movie tickets and get this show started!"

The movie that most people in the party agreed on... was already playing. Undyne started to pummel Papyrus while Muffet handled the situation.

"What films do you have that are starting soon?" She asked as Alphys stood nearby, ready to give nays or yeas on Undyne's behalf. 

"Well, if you were looking for a film like Crazy Killer Robots Three, Featuring Mettaton, world renown monster star... um. We don't have another film like that." The human clerk admitted as they browsed the listing of movies on their computer. They stopped on a few movie titles. "But, in the next ten minutes, these movies will start..." They rattled off films with obvious genres. 

Muffet looked over at Alphys with a smile and vocalized her favorite pick. Alphys nervously accepted the smile with her own and a thumbs up.

"We will watch 'The Violet Return'," Muffet announced. 

"Oh, interesting, well, here are your tickets," The clerk printed the tickets after accepting Muffet's card.

The two short girls joined their taller partners. It seemed that Undyne had won and was sitting on Papyrus' remains. "Let's get some popcorn and soda! Woohoo!" Undyne stood and stretched as she shouted. The fish woman led the way to the concession stands. There stood a familiar cat monster...

"Like, OMG, if it isn't my favorite trash sister, Alphys!" Catty leaned over the counter looked at Alphys with a smile.

"O-Oh hey, Catty, didn't know you were working right now!" Alphys waved. "Where is Bratty?"

"Bratty?" Catty's expression became dark, her eyes completely unreadable. "No need to worry about where Bratty is. She just does whatever she wants, you know? She doesn't need to answer texts even if she just texted you herself in the first place, you know?"

Alphys looked around nervously. "Ha ha... so yeah, we'd like some popcorn and soda and stuff..."

Instantly cheerful again, Catty nodded. "Of course, chicka! I'll even use my family discount for you! After all, we basically are!"

Once everyone got loaded up with goodies, they made their way to the ticket guy... another familiar cat monster.

"Oh no, it's her... and him!" Burgerpants took a deep breath as he eyed Undyne and Papyrus approaching. He regularly was the one that got sent in to deal with them. The group approached and tried to talk to him, but he interrupted. "Hi, I hope you enjoy your show!" He took their tickets like a robot would, and tore them without any personality at all. He noted the name of the film, and sighed a bit of relief before saying, "You are in theater 4, on the right. Enjoy!"

With a shrug, they moved into theater 4 as directed. They were the only ones there. Not a single human or monster sat in the seats of this film about to start. This excited Muffet and Undyne to an extent, and Undyne was quick to say something.

"This is really AWESOME!" Undyne ran up and found the best seat. She waved for Alphys to join her. "Best seat in the house, babe!"

Alphys waddled up the steps and took the seat with a slight blush. "T-Thanks, Undyne. H-Hey guys, come on up!"

Papyrus was about to follow, when Muffet grabbed his hand. This stopped him in his tracks. "Would you mind terribly if we sat in our own seats?"

"GO FOR IT!!!" Undyne yelled before sitting next to Alphys and throwing an arm around her girl. Alphys nodded her approval.

Tugging Papyrus along, Muffet ran further up the steps than the other two had. Muffet opted for her and Papyrus to sit in the very back, away from the eyes of the other girls. Papyrus sat next to Muffet, who lifted up the cupholder between them. She snuggled up to him as was customary mostly when they were alone! For her to feel so comfortable touching him in public... He gulped. He had to do it. By the end of the night, Papyrus would ask Muffet...

To be his girlfriend.

 

Sans peered over his shoulder after giving his brother, 'the talk.' The talk about... how to kiss people. He walked down the small pathway on his second story apartment, trying to act as inconspicuous as a skeleton with a secret could. He pulled out his keyring, which had very few keys on it. One was to his scooter, another to his work, one more for his apartment with Papyrus, and the last... was for for an apartment he just appeared in front of via short cut. It was in the cheaper part of town, where Sans rented a studio room for extra cheap. Inside the studio apartment was equipment that would have been familiar to Frisk. 

With Papyrus more preoccupied by his adventures with Muffet, Sans felt a bit lonely. He always had a sense of loneliness ever since Papyrus' accident some time ago. A story that still has yet to be told. He pulled out a pair of eyeglasses from inside his hoodie pocket and wiped them clean with a cloth that rested on top of his work desk by the machinery. After he was satisfied with the clarity, Sans placed the eyeglasses onto his face. Despite not having ears or a nose, they sat still on his face. Sans hopped up on the stool and looked over the progress he had started to make in recent history. Papyrus' absence made working on this... side project... a possibility once more. The small skeleton trusted Muffet enough to take care of Papyrus. She waited for him to come to her for so long, and it seemed like maybe she did really care about his bro after all. It made some of those times when he confronted her back in the Underground seem incredibly pointless. He sighed at the thought.

The problem with his work, the problem that kept the machine from working... He had to understand it. It drove him a bit crazy. It was one of the things that kept him up at night. It all had to do with that day he found Papyrus in the core of the CORE. Laying on the ground unconscious...

Sans was running. Why was he running? He had a hard time remembering, but his thoughts latched onto a shape. An egg-like shape? Something. It was white. It had eyes. It kind of looked like Papyrus. He was running from the camera and control room over to the engine of the CORE itself. There, he found Papyrus laying on the ground. His hand was over the edge. The edge that led to presumably nowhere. Sans quickly pulled Papyrus away from the ledge of the CORE and frantically looked around the room. Where was-

Who was he looking for? Sans pinpricks disappeared. Suddenly, he felt so lonely. He was left alone with Papyrus. Someone had left them. He left Papyrus on the ground as he marched around the lab space. For some reason... someone wanted to continue their work in this dangerous space. Who? Sans flung open desk drawers, overturned stacks of papers, and finally... he found it. He had no idea what he was looking for until he saw it. A blank sheet of paper. He pulled out a pen from his lab coat front pocket and started to draw. He drew Papyrus. He drew himself... he drew... that third person. That third person who was...

Sans snapped out of his memory. He always thought about that day. He still had that drawing of he, his bro, and that mysterious third person. Sans pulled it out from his desk drawer and examined it. His drawing wasn't very great, but it was alright. They were all... skeletons? Sans peered at the image of the third person. It was true, right? They were a skeleton. He scribbled some notes down onto his work area. The machine he built, he had actually mocked up design-wise the same day he found Papyrus. After he drew the picture, he worked on designing... something!

The small skeleton looked over at the machine.

"what the heck was i trying to do with you?" Sans asked the machine with a whisper. He always thought it was possibly a time machine. He felt an intense urge to 'go back.' But even then... he couldn't figure out what he was trying to get back to. Sans hopped off his chair and picked up a wretch on the way to the machine. He used the wretch to pop open the control panel and considered the wiring. It was a machine to go back... or was it a machine to  _bring_ something... or some _one_ back? From some reason, things were clicking together in his mind. Pieces of a jigsaw puzzle floated around in his mind, and he was slowly, but surely, rebuilding the image of the missing third person. That was when it struck him. A memory that was buried so deep he had forgotten it until now.

"wait, so this thing is dangerous?" Sans asked to no one. No one answered him.

"what do you mean its inconclusive? of course it would be!" Sans yelled at no one. "its kinda hard to keep data on people if you don't even remember they exist! at least put up a guard rail or something, sheesh!"

Sans got to work. He ran back to his desk with a huff and started to add to his design. The machine wasn't supposed to go back in time! Before he had completely forgotten about that third person, he designed something to bring back someone who had fallen into the CORE!

 

"AH!" Papyrus screamed as he curled into a ball in Muffet's primary armpit. She rubbed his back with all three of her hands on the one side, while he pat his head with her dominant hand of the opposite side. The film was not actually called 'The Violet Return.' She and Alphys had apparently misheard the title. It was called, 'The Violent Return.' It was some sort of gorey, horrorfest. Papyrus whined at the sounds of gushing blood and squishy sounds of meat being peeled off of  _something_. Undyne, meanwhile, was waving her fist at the screen.

"YOU ARE LUCKY YOU ARE A FICTIONAL CHARACTER, PUNK!" Alphys tried to pull Undyne back into her seat. "HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO ANOTHER PERSON!?"

"U-Undyne! Relax, it-it's just a movie!" Alphys begged.

It was too late. Even though no one else was in the seats aside from the party, rules were rules, and Burgerpants was forced by said rules to throw them out.

"Can you believe it?" Undyne complained outside of the theater as she held Alphys' hand. "The cops in that movie were total losers! That guy was obviously a serial killer!"

As Undyne shouted, Papyrus was quiet. While his eye sockets didn't have eyeballs, he looked especially vacant. He stared off in the distance, and stood still like a statue. Muffet wrapped her hand around his. "Love?" She tested him. He didn't say a word.

"L-Looks like Papyrus might be done for the night..." The yellow dinosaur noted. "That movie... u-ugh, we can't tell S-Sans that-"

"can't tell sans what?" A highly amused voice came from between all the friends. Sans had appeared out of the blue again.

"Y-You need to cut that out!" Alphys wasn't shocked this time. 

"heh, sorry, alph, anyway, can i borrow you for a sec?" Sans asked.

"Huh? Um... sure?" With that, Sans put a hand on Alphys and Papyrus, and everyone poofed.

 

They all suddenly appeared in Sans' makeshift lab. Alphys nearly threw up. Muffet and Undyne were dizzy enough to have fallen down. Papyrus simply stood still, scarred forever by the gore movie.

"W-What did you need- WOAH!" Alphys ran over to the machine. "Y-You built this, Sans? I-I thought you were done tinkering with s-s-stuff."

"heh, i thought so too, but... i've had more time to myself recently," Sans nodded at Muffet, who was still trying to regain a sense of balance.

"What is all this nerd crap?" Undyne asked unceremoniously. She joined Alphys by the machine.

"its... kinda a long story, but to make it short," Sans picked up a blueprint and brought it to Alphys. "i need alph to look at my numbers and tell me what she thinks."

As Alphys and Sans started to speak in science gibberish, Undyne got bored and walked over to Papyrus.

"Hey Papyrus, are you okay?" Undyne poked Papyrus' cheek. "You've been pretending to be a statue for like ten minutes now."

"He won't move," Muffet sighed. "I've even tried to turn him purple to at least let him sit him down, but he is too rigid."

"Hmm... you know, wasn't Papyrus going to ask you to be his girl-" Undyne said before a sudden shriek interrupted her.

"THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS HERE! THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR! ESPECIALLY NOT... NOT... KNIVES AND SUCH!"

"welcome back, bro," Sans waved as Alphys seemed to be rewiring part of the machine via literally pulling things out.

"THANK YOU!" Papyrus looked down at Muffet. "NOW, AS UNDYNE WAS SAYING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, WHY DON'T YOU AND I GO FOR A SHORT WALK, MISS MUFFET?"

"oh, but, paps, i wanted you to see this," Sans gestured at the machine, which Alphys was now closing up.

"A-All done!" Alphys announced. "Geez Sans, your work had gotten so sloppy. No wonder this hunk of junk never turned on when you pushed the go button."

"heh, yeah, it helps to have another pair of eyes too," Sans nodded. He flipped open a panel on the outside. "so paps, you may not remember this... but i used to work with the doc here."

"GASP!"

"and i think... i think i found a way bring back someone important to us... so... here goes nothing!" Sans rolled up his sleeves. He froze for half a second on the initiation button. "boy, this is kinda scary."

Undyne slowly snuck up on Sans... and pushed the button! "There! Not so scary!"

"oh," Sans stepped away from the machine. "i was worried there is a chance this thing could blow."

"WHAT!?"

The machine, which looked like a huge cylinder, started to flash lights of random assortments. It huffed, it puffed, and finally a bright, white light enveloped the entire room!

Everyone shielded their eyes and averted their gaze. After a minute, the light show was over, and the sound of an automatic door of some kind echoed in the room. Everyone watched as smoke billowed out from the door of the machine. Inside, was total darkness... and out stepped...

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL CLIFF HANGER. - me
> 
> *Everyone kills me*
> 
> worth it... - me, in heck


	15. well that was unexpected... (1/4)

Somewhere in the Underground, there were still a few monsters left. They enjoyed the peace and solitude. There was another, however, that was neither monster or human. Flowey stood at the bed of flowers that marked Chara's grave. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be waiting for something to happen. As he waited, his face grew more and more impatient. His eyebrow twitched, his lips curled and uncurled, and finally he exploded.

"WHAT GIVES!?" Flowey shouted to no one. If he was able to stomp around, he would be stomping all around the flower bed. He grumbled and muttered to himself for a while until he suddenly straightened out. 

Flowey sensed... _something_. It felt bad... _wrong_. He glanced up at the hole Frisk had fallen down when they landed into the world of monsters. "T-This feeling... Frisk, you aren't...?"

Flowey looked to the ground and seemed defeated for a moment. There was no way he could go and check on them. There was no way they could do something like that, right? Any day, any minute, Flowey would become just like his old self. He'd hurt people. He'd probably kill them. With such a happy ending for everyone else... there is no way Flowey could ever rejoin them.

Yet, Flowey shook in place as he felt the sensation again. Something was happening to the timeline. He was so attuned to it, that he could feel something big was going on outside his hole. He couldn't just give up. That wasn't how Flowey operated. He was determined. So with a grunt and an eye roll, Flowey made his way to the surface world.

 

As smoke filled the room, it went from being your typical white, sci-fi smoke to a hot pink color. Everyone in the room held still, waiting to see what would happen next... except for one person.

"WELL THEN." Papyrus gave a huge grin. "THAT WAS VERY INTERESTING, LET'S LEAVE NOW, MISS MUFFET." And he jumped out the window.

Muffet would've tried to follow him, but instead, she was frozen in place by the emerging figures... It wasn't just one, but two people appeared. Papyrus peeked at Muffet over the broken window, and his eye sockets focused back on the guys walking outside of the machine. He loudly groaned. This was not good news for asking Muffet to be his girlfriend...

"SANS! THIS BETTER NOT BE ONE OF YOUR STUPID, LITTLE PRANKS..." Shrieked the taller one.

"eh. nope." The shorter one shrugged. 

"oh look, it's me," Sans chuckled as he gave himself a once over.

"looks like it, bud," the other skeleton winked. It was Sans, but not... our Sans? He had a peculiar look to him that reminded Sans of that human clothing chain, Hot Topic. He even had a golden tooth. That looked pretty ridiculous. "this your doin?" Sans nodded.

"SANS! AND... SANS?" The taller skeleton looked... a little bit like Papyrus, but not quite. He had a mean face with sharp teeth. His left eye socket was scarred and it seemed he is unable to open it. He also seemed to be a product of Hot Topic. "AS IF I HAVE THE TIME TO DEAL WITH ONE MORE OF YOU! THIS IS A TRAVESTY! AND I, THE TERRIBLE PAPYRUS, WILL NOT STAND FOR IT!!!"

"OH NO..." Original Papyrus whined from behind the window. "HE'S HOT..."

"I don't know what is going on," Undyne admitted, "but it is definitely HILARIOUS."

"A-a-ah..." Alphys blinked as two more figures emerged from the machine. "Then they might be..."

"WASSUP NERDS," A different Undyne looked around. She was very red. "Looks like we summoned some DOPPLEGANGERS! THIS IS JUST LIKE AN ANIME!"

"HEY!" Undyne pointed at the other Undyne. "I'M NO DOPPLEGANGER! Dopplegangers are always evil, and well, you look way more evil than me."

"Heh, thanks for the compliment," The other Undyne crossed her arms and nodded her approval. Behind her, a yellow head peaked out.

"W-we've been summoned to another world!" The other Alphys exclaimed. "EXCELLENT!!!" She rubbed her claws together and laughed maniacally. 

"U-Um... I don't sound like that do I? Oh god, I c-can't even look at her..." Alphys turned away and covered her face.

"okay, okay, guys, calm down a sec," Sans interrupted Alphys' impeding panic attack. Everyone stopped and looked at Sans. "so, in the time it took for you all to come outta the machine, i inspected it and it looks like its totally broke, so you other guys are kinda stuck here."

"WHAT? STUCK HERE? WHERE IS HERE EXACTLY, SANS?" Other Papyrus tapped his foot impatiently. "I WAS ON A GREAT DATE AND YOU HAVE COMPLETELY INTERRUPTED IT!!!"

"heh heh, aww boss," the other Sans interjected. "wassa'matta? worried he's gonna go smooch someone else while you're gone? huh?" The other Sans than made one of the most annoying kissing sounds you've ever heard in your life. 

"HA HA! YEAH! HE'S TOTALLY GONNA GO SMOOCH OTHER GUYS WHILE YOU ARE GONE," The other Undyne added and laughed alongside other Sans. "C'MON YOU TWERP, AS IF HE ISN'T GONNA TAKE THIS CHANCE. HAHAHAHA!"

Undyne squatted down by Alphys and whispered to her, "Am I that mean?"

"Er..." Alphys peeked at Undyne from behind her fingers. "Um... not really?"

"I SHOULD DESTROY YOU ALL!" Other Papyrus exploded. Suddenly a giant, red bone materialized in his hand and he was ready to swing. The others that came with him just laughed even more.

"Ahuhu~" Muffet finally came to her senses. Her eyes shifted around the room, fully taking everyone in. "I'm sorry to interrupt, er, you Mr. Papyrus, but... what is going on?" The other Papyrus looked down at Muffet and gave a surprised face. He hadn't noticed her there.

Papyrus outside felt like his HP had just taken a hit as Muffet called the other Papyrus, Mr. Papyrus. Not to mention that other guy was looking at his gal! He winced before he stood up and hopped back into the room. "FEAR NOT, MISS MUFFET! I, THE REAL MR. PAPYRUS, AM STILL HERE. THAT OTHER PAPYRUS IS CLEARLY AN IMPOSTER AND NOT NEARLY AS HANDSOME AS MYSELF." Muffet's eyes went from other Papyrus to her Papyrus and she smiled a bit. "IT WOULD SEEM MY SILLY BROTHER SUMMONED EVIL VERSIONS OF OURSELVES HERE. SANS, WHAT IS THE POINT OF DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT?"

"well, i was trying to bring back someone important to us, but... it seems like i just brought our counterparts from another universe here or something." Sans shrugged as he answered. "um. once i fix this machine, i should be able to send everyone home, so that's good news. alph, would ya mind helping me?"

"S-Sure." The Alphys' said in unison. They blinked and looked each other over.

"hum... so we all have the same names, huh," Sans scratched at his dome as he thought. "why don't we call the guys from another place by nicknames or somethin. otherwise, its gonna get annoying real quick to call them 'other papyrus' or 'other sans.'" Sans chuckled before winking. "right?"

"why do we gotta get nicknames? i like my name," the other Sans chimed in. "sans. that's my name, buddy."

"yea, but that's my name too, and you guys are in my universe, so... its only fair you get the nickname," Sans argued. "maybe if we ever visit you guys in your's, that's when we will get nicknames, huh?"

"I WANNA BE CALLED RAT!!!" The other Undyne shouted. "I'VE ALWAYS WANTED THAT TO BE MY NICKNAME AND IT NEVER STICKS!"

"BECAUSE THAT IS A STUPID NICKNAME, WHELP," Other Papyrus sighed. "YET HERE WE ARE, BEING RENAMED LIKE ANIMALS."

"Just c-call her R-Rat," The other Alphys piped up. "A-Anyway, I-I can't think of any cool nicknames... ugh, I hate RPGs w-where you name your own character. It's so much p-pressure..."

"heh, while alph decides, i guess you can call me..." Other Sans looked Sans up and down. He noted their color differences and snapped his fingers. "how's about red? i could live with that for now. heh, some of the chicks say they love my red-"

"heheheheh, yeah, real funny," Sans interrupted. "look, keep it pg-13, okay?"

"uh... sure," Red raised an bonebrow. "whatever ya say, pal."

"RED? THAT IS A PRETTY COOL NICKNAME," Papyrus smiled down at Red. Red's face went blank as others spoke.

"O-Okay, how about... uh... Felphys. G-Get it?" Felphys tested. "Y-You know... like the w-word 'fell' in place of 'Al'? G-Get it-"

"BRILLIANT, DR. FELPHYS!" The other Papyrus threw his fist into the air and clenched the air tightly. "YOU ARE A GENIUS! FELL WOULD MAKE A GREAT NICKNAME FOR MYSELF..."

"E-Er, b-b-but I already picked that one!" Felphys growled. "Get you-your own nickname!"

"heh heh, boss, how bout ya just call yourself 'edge,' huh?" Red could barely contain his giggling and trollish sneer. "ya know, on the count of how edgy ya are? huh??"

"EDGE?" He pondered. "IT DOES HAVE A NICE RING TO IT, AND THE HORRIBLE DR. FELPHYS HERSELF ONCE CALLED ME THE GREATEST EDGELORD SHE HAD EVER MET..."

"O-Oh, you heard that???" Felphys looked up at Rat who shrugged in response.

"EDGE IT IS THEN, NYEH HEH HEH!" Edge laughed deeply.

"THERE WE ARE, SO YOU ARE ALL PROPERLY NAMED..." Papyrus put his hands on his hips. "NOW, MISS MUFFET, SEE, YOU DON'T NEED TO CALL HIM PAPYRUS ANYMORE. THAT IS ME! I'M THE ONLY PAPYRUS HERE."

"Ahuhu~ of course, Mr. Papyrus," Muffet had stayed quiet. She seemed expectant, but had a disappointed expression on her face. "It would be hard to confuse you with, hm, Mr. Edge. His eye sockets, jaw, and entire look is quite different from you, my pet. Ahuhu~"

Papyrus' eye socket twitched as Muffet referred to the Edge as Mr. Edge. 

"phew... i'm beat..." Sans wiped his brow. "so... i'll work on this more tomorrow cause... it's kinda late and i could use the sleep."

"YOUR SANS IS A SERIAL NAPPER TOO, EH?" Edge leaned in and asked Papyrus. Papyrus nodded.

"QUITE! IT IS VERY ANNOYING."

"anyway," Sans struggled not to point out that he'd been hard at work while everyone stood around arguing about nicknames. "why don't we take ourselves to our places and rest up. let's regroup tomorrow, eh?"

"sure," Red nodded. "this will be an interesting experience."

 

The groups split off, though Papyrus walked Muffet home, leaving Sans to walk their dopplegangers to their apartment alone. As they walked home, Muffet was incredibly quiet, leaving Papyrus to do most of the talking. He didn't mind, as he enjoyed hearing himself talk quite a lot.

"I THINK IT WILL BE FUN TO GET TO KNOW THESE NEW PEOPLE," Papyrus held Muffet's hand tightly. "EXCEPT FOR THAT EDGE FELLOW, I AM NOT SURE HOW TO FEEL ABOUT HIM. I MEAN... IT SEEMS LIKE HE AND RED ARE VERY MEAN TO EACH OTHER. NOT IN THE BROTHERLY WAY THAT SANS AND I HAVE OUR GAFFS AND JESTS... THOUGH IT IS MAKING ME THINK I'VE BEEN A LITTLE HARD ON HIM LATELY."

Muffet simply nodded.

"SURPRISINGLY, I THINK THAT DR. FELPHYS PERSON IS A LITTLE MORE OUTGOING THAN THE GREAT DR. ALPHYS. CAN YOU IMAGINE! SOMEONE WITH THAT MUCH CONFIDENCE AND YET SHE STILL SEEMS TO HAVE A LOW OPINION OF HERSELF."

Muffet nodded again.

"MISS MUFFET, DEAR," Papyrus cleared his throat. They reached her front door. "ARE YOU FEELING QUITE ALRIGHT?"

"A-Ah, yes, I am," Muffet smiled up at Papyrus after she unlocked her door and stepped within. "I am just taking in the concept of another universe, Mr. Papyrus. You seem to have taken to it along with the others. I am curious about the differences... but I am more curious about the-" Muffet seemed to think of her words. "Similarities. I would love to learn more about them." She looked at Papyrus with an intense gaze. If she had heat vision there would have been a hole burned onto Papyrus' face. 

"O-OH," Papyrus blushed deeply. He felt an incredible urge to lean down and... and... "SO, I MUST DEPART. I AM SURE SANS IS NOT PROPERLY HOSTING THOSE TWO. I SHOULD REALLY CHECK ON THEM."

"Of course, mon chérie," Muffet sighed. "Goodnight." She withdrew into her home and closed the door before Papyrus could say anything. 

He felt bad, like he had done something wrong. This date hadn't gone well at all... Papyrus started his walk back home distracted by his thoughts. He didn't even notice several red eyes glaring at him from across the street as he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going with these designs: https://mic-roe-pony.deviantart.com/art/Underfell-Cast-Line-Up-632098878  
> Also, some ideas about nicknames came from: https://maxladcomics.tumblr.com/  
> Their comics are awesome. I highly recommend. Warning, sometimes they hit that incest/selfcest stuff.  
> \---
> 
> hehehehHHeheheh - me
> 
> you doin' okay, you don't look so great, pal. - sans
> 
> oh. i'm doin just GREAT - me
> 
> \---
> 
> SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO UPDATE. I HAD A BREAKDOWN IRL... but I feel kinda better now. AFTER I DO A LITTLE SHENANIGANS WITH THIS MACHINE... I will split off the machine shenanigan from this fic into its own. It will still be related to this fic, but will be more focused on the whole... ya know.


	16. Red Vs Blue (2/4)

Later last night, Muffet rolled around on her bed as Cupcake lay asleep on her plush, purple pillows. She grumbled to herself as her laptop made a connecting sound. Muffet quickly stopped her actions once it seemed that someone answered on the other line.

"KOOOO~NI-CHI-WA~!" Chimed Mettaton's marvelous voice sounded through Muffet's poor quality laptop speakers. He sounded even more robotic than usual. The starlet robot seemed to answer the call from a luxurious, golden room. "Darling~ What good luck you have that my schedule was open for this little one on one call~ Oh!" Mettaton pressed a hand to his cheek as his lips formed an O. "You look _positively_ dreadful! What is the matter, my sweet Muffet?"

Muffet's face was scrunched up in fury, with tears around the edges of her five eyes. "Monsieur Meta! Am I not kissable?"

"Oh hunny," Mettaton raised a brow as he shook his head. "Please don't tell me you are crying over boys! You still have your girlish charms and beautiful eyes. Did something happen between you and that gorgeous hunk of calcium?"

"Meta, thank you," Muffet wiped at a few of her tears. "Ahuhu... really, it is the lack of _something_ happening!"

At this Mettaton looked around, as if to make sure the coast was clear. "Spill it, girl! I've been curious, how do skeletons-?"

"Non!" Muffet blushed deeply and waved two of her arms. "Nothing like that! We haven't even kissed!"

"Ma petite Muffet~! No!" Mettaton gave her a horrified look. "Have you not cast your web and enchanted him? I remember back in the day, you were fighting your suitors off. Please say it isn't what it sounds like?"

"It is..." Muffet sniffled. "As soon as he is about to come in for the kiss, he runs away. On several occasions. I bet you can guess some of his escapes..."

"Through the window again, I take it?" Mettaton had heard all about the couples' history back in the Underground. Muffet and he went far back, after all. Mettaton picked the laptop up and carried it over to a heart-shaped bed. He lounged on top of it suggestively, which provoked a giggle from Muffet. "Ma petite, have you tried making the first move?"

"Eh?" This is a thought that Muffet hadn't considered. She had leaned in for him to kiss her, but she hadn't gone all the way. "I... I have."

"You hesitated, little Miss Muffet," Mettaton winked and wagged his finger at her. He placed that same finger on his lips. "Could I share with you a secret?"

"Of course, my dear friend," Muffet nodded. Mettaton's gossips and insights always had a pinch of truth to them. Muffet knew there was much she could learn from him. Especially about romance and appeal. She felt a small tinge of sadness as she realized they hadn't had a gabfest about romantic interests in quite some time. "I always have time for you."

"Ma petite, a man like Papyrus, well..." Mettaton closed his eyes as he thought about his choice of words. "With Papyrus, he is an innocent flower, ma petite. It is as plain as the teeth on his face that he has no experience being sensual or physical with others, and you, my sweet Muffet must be the chaser in this scenario. If I were you..." Mettaton opened his eyes and licked his lips. "I would hold that skeleton in my arms, tell him how I feel, and bring him in for a kiss!"

"Meta!" Muffet jumped up from her slouching position to sit up straight. "That is borderline abuse! You cannot just... just kiss someone!"

"True... yet, I think you should ask him, ma petite! Confess your love, and ask to give him a kiss!" Mettaton seemed to produce a rose from nowhere and placed it in his teeth. "You must chase Papyrus! You will likely be his first kiss! His first love! If you don't make the first move, Miss Muffet, he will be lost to you. Whether because you become frustrated from the lack of progress... or maybe because another suitor arrives and takes him from you." With those words, a dark glimmer shone in his eyes. He took the rose and pointed it at Muffet. "If you wait around for your dear Papyrus to make a move... I fear it will never happen."

 

* * *

 

 

The following morning, Sans woke bright and early, as he usually did. He grumbled and moaned as he crawled out of his bed. Today was his day off, and he felt relieved for a moment until he wandered into the living room. He groaned again at the sight he saw. Edge laid on the couch clutching one of Papyrus' old teddy bears, and Red rested on a pile of, what Sans hoped was, clean laundry. Where did he even find all that laundry?

Sans walked over to Red, crouched down, and gave him a small shove. The other skeleton didn't appreciate the gesture.

" **woah!** who the **fuc** -" Red managed to blurt out before Sans teleported them over to his workspace. Red jumped to his feet and Sans stood up straight. "pal, pal, why the hell are we awake so early?"

"you don't wake up early?" Sans questioned. "i guess its not just our looks that are different, eh red?"

"'supose so, sans," Red scratched his dome, "eh, its so weird to call you by my name."

"well, the sooner we fix the machine, the sooner the weirdness goes away, bud," Sans gestured to the machine. He walked past Red, who gave Sans an incredulous look.

"is that why ya woke me up so damn early?" Red crossed his arms. "man, i don't do the science gig anymore."

"neither do i," Sans shrugged, "but here we are, huh?"

"you built this machine," Red waved his hands toward the contraption. "that's hardly **not** doing science, man. i aint never built no machine."

"wait," Sans' face lit up. "so that means you know that person who is missing, huh? did papyrus ever faint-"

"lemme stop ya while we're ahead, pal," Red held up a skeletal hand. "i think i get the gist, now. the boss, er, paps, he did faint. and i got a weird feeling in my bones, you know? i still remember it vaguely. in fact, coming here gave me the same level of heebie-jeebies that i couldn't help but remember paps' little episode when we was younger."

"oh," Sans put his hands into his hoodie. "then what did you try to do?"

"nothin'." Red shrugged.

"nothing? what do you mean nothing?" Sans tried to keep his voice even. "we can't be that different, buddy..."

"guess we are," Red put his own hands into his hoodie. "ya know what i felt after that event? a bit of relief. a feeling like whatever, or whoever, was forgotten was better left alone. so i didn't do shit. and..." Red's left eye started to glow a dark red color. "i think whatever it is you are trying to call back is a bad idea. i can't help ya fix the machine, pal, but after you fix it, i recommend you smash it again."

"look bud," Sans shrugged. "i don't know what your trauma is, but i can't let this go. if you can't lend a hand, then the alphys' will have to do."

"heh heh," Red relaxed as he chuckled. "man, i don't envy you having to hang out with not one, but two **crazy** broads! in any case, i'm off ta look for some sweeeeet action."

"huh?"

"bro, while you spent your time nerding out and building this damn thing, i've been perfecting something else. i can already tell the difference between you and me..." Red's smile seemed to become more cruel. "can you tell? if you really are me, i bet you can see the truth too..."

Sans' pinpricks disappeared from his sockets as he took in what Red meant. Red's LOVE... was very high to say the least. "w-what?"

"in my world, pal, it was kill or be killed. don't worry, we don't kill people anymore, not since little frisky saved us, heh heh heh," Red lifted up his hand. "i can tell you can teleport to locations, but i can go a little further. i can find SOULs and teleport to them instantaneously like. i'm just gonna hit up that sweet goat lady you must have here. i miss my old lady back home and... well... it aint cheating if it's the same gal, right? heh heh heh!" With a snap, Red disappeared.

"ah shit." Sans' sockets twitched as he teleported right after Red had.

 

* * *

 

"AHH!" Edge jumped up from his bed, guarding the teddy bear he slept with from whatever he heard. It was a loud sudden voice, but when Edge looked around the room he didn't find anyone. Not even that lazy brother of his. "UGH! THAT SANS!!!"

Papyrus threw open the door to his room and appeared in the living room with a startled expression. He held a frying pan as a weapon and still wore his orange, footie pajamas. "WHAT IS IT? WHO HAS ATTACKED US, EDGE?"

"NO ONE, INFERIOR PAPYRUS," Edge scoffed. "IT WAS JUST THAT STUPID BROTHER OF MINE, SANS. PROBABLY YOUR STUPID BROTHER AS WELL."

"OH, MY APOLO- WAIT JUST A MINUTE!" Papyrus folded his arms, tapping his hip with the pan. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'INFERIOR?' I AM QUITE CERTAIN WE ARE BOTH EQUALS. AFTER ALL, WE ARE EACH OTHER EVEN IF YOU HAVE A VERY STRANGE SENSE OF FASHION."

"IS THAT SO?" Edge grinned. "YOU THINK MY SENSE OF FASHION IS OFF? HOW ABOUT YOUR'S? YOU STILL DRESS LIKE A CHILD. LOOK AT YOUR FEET FOR STARS' SAKE!" Edge pointed at the footies.

"T-THEY ARE VERY COMFY, HAVE YOU EVEN WORN FOOTIE PAJAMAS?" Papyrus looked embarrassed for half a second. 

"WELL...  NO..." Edge admitted. 

"PERHAPS BEFORE YOU AND YOUR BROTHER LEAVE YOU SHOULD GIVE IT A TRY," Papyrus offered happily. "I HAVE MANY GREAT AND QUALITY PAJAMAS WITH FOOTIES."

"HMMM..." Edge rubbed his pointy chin. "VERY WELL, I SHALL ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE."

 

* * *

 

 

Elsewhere, a battle brewed over breakfast...

"Hah!" Rat shouted as she tossed her red spear at Undyne, who narrowly dodged it. Undyne was brandishing a blue spear of her own. "You really think that's proper!?"

"I'm the host, dweeb!" Undyne laughed. "OF COURSE, ITS PROPER!"

"You might think that... BUT WE ARE THE ONES PUTTING YOU OUT!" Rat materialized another red spear in the air and grabbed it with a flourish. "Do you really think we'd just ACCEPT your meals and help WITHOUT OFFERING YOU A HELPING HAND!?"

Two Alphys sat at the refurbished kotatsu in the living room. Alphys sighed, while Felphys pulled out some handheld device.

"D-Don't you think we should b-break them up?" Alphys asked her counterpart. "Having one Undyne is already a lot, b-but-" A crashing sound and a loud laugh boomed through the building. "Oh, we definitely aren't going to get our deposit back..."

"Meh," Felphys waved away Alphys' concern while still focusing on her device. "It-it just figures that twice as many of her would make my life a l-living hell- UGH!" A blue spear whizzed by her face, causing her to lose concentration. Felphys refocused on the handheld machine and went silent for a moment, but deflated as she laid down, defeated. 

"W-what are you playing?" Alphys asked as she leaned over to look. She could see the device seemed to be some kind of emulator for older systems. "O-Oh! Is that...?"

"Heh, yep," Felphys waved the screen in Alphys face. "Its Shining Megumi Senshi... the first one!"

"T-That's so rare!!!" Alphys put her claws to her cheeks in astonishment. "I-I-I can't even find a physical copy anywhere!"

"BAH!" Felphys snorted. "I don't o-own the physical copy, obviously. I just emulate it here..."

"Oh my god... that is so illegal..." Alphys looked around nervously, as if the human cops were going to bust down their door.

"T-That's the difference b-between you and I-I, Alphys..." Felphys grinned. "I-I-I always get what I want... at any cost! Or-or, in this case, at no cost at all."

"FELPHYS, I MADE YOUR FAVORITE~!" Rat rushed in from the kitchen. "Homemade pocky!!!" Rat dropped a steaming plate of pocky on the kotatsu. "I'm sure you love it toooo, Dr. Alphys! YOU ARE WELCOME TO TRY MY AMAZING COOKING!"

The pocky looked strange, like it was breaded or something. Felphys sneered at the plate, but Alphys was intrigued. She picked one up and took a bite. Instant regret colored her face as she gave Rat a thumbs up.

"See, Undyne!" Undyne came into the living room with a plate full of pancakes. Rat grabbed her shoulder and shook it violently while pointing at Alphys. "Alphys, er, Felphys just LOVES my homemade pocky! The best part??? It's completely healthy."

Meanwhile, Felphys grumbled under her breath in a voice only Alphys could hear, "I-I should never ha-have let that idiot raise all my f-flags..."

 

* * *

 

 

Flowey searched everywhere and eventually asked a couple of monsters about Frisk's whereabouts. He learned that Frisk was adopted by Toriel. Flowey smiled a bit when he heard that. It was so like her to adopt poor kids like Frisk. That's what happened with... Flowey shook his head and continued onward. He found Toriel's house, an actual house, with a huge yard in the front and back. It was small, probably just big enough for her and Frisk to live in. A small part of him hoped that, perhaps, Asgore lived there as well. 

In typical Flowey fashion, he peeked into the front window, hoping to scope out the scene before making a big entrance. After all, he didn't know what happened last night to cause the timeline to ripple the way it did. He had to be careful, just in case Frisk had, likely an accident, done something completely **stupid**.

A growl escaped Flowey's lips as he spied a familiar trashbag inside... of course, that trashbag looked pretty different, actually. He was all... dressed in reds and blacks. That was really unlike him. Flowey listened in, growing angrier by the minute.

"heh, hey there tori," Red surprised Toriel. She turned around with a start, but then giggled. 

"Oh! My goodness, Sans," Toriel smiled down at the skeleton. "I did not hear you come in. I appreciate the visit, but... you should honestly call before you come by. Hmm... you are dressed quite differently today. Is that a gold tooth in your mouth?"

Red grinned even wider. So Sans had a key to the place, huh? That lucky hotdog. "oh, my bad, tori, let's start over, huh?" Red disappeared suddenly, which caused Toriel to feel surprised yet again. He reappeared outside, and gave the door a knock. "knock. knock."

Toriel giggled again. Her heart started to flutter like the time it had when she first met Sans. She pondered about his strange appearance again for a moment, but answered, "Who is there?"

Red had to consider for a moment this Toriel. His Tori was batshit insane, and super into nasty shit as long as the kid wasn't around. However, given his counterpart... Red made an educated guess. "cynthia."

"Cynthia who?"

"cynthia been away, i missed you," Red blushed from saying something as corny as that, but he hoped it would take effect. Toriel opened the door with a slight blush. Red looked up at her with his usual grin, though it seemed he started to sweat. What was this about?

Flowey, who had managed to sneak into the living room and hide behind a cactus nearly gagged. He couldn't stop observing. It was like watching a trainwreck.

"Sans... you really would miss an old lady like me?" Toriel stepped aside to let Red in. He walked in, happy to be invited inside. 

"o'course, tori," Red wandered over to the couch. "youse my everything, doll. truly, i am blessed to be in your presence at all... er, is the kiddo around?"

"Frisk?" Red nodded. So this universe had a Frisk too. "Oh no, they are at Asgore's. Did I not inform you of this? If you wanted to visit Frisk, you came to the wrong home." Toriel laughed a bit, but it seemed nervous. Red twitched a bit. This Toriel... she was very... 

"a-ah, no that's not what i meant," Red looked at the ground. He stared for a moment at Toriel's feet. She had big fluffy feet, but they were so clean. The other Tori was a hot mess, a really hot, but messy lady. This Toriel... His red hue deepened.

"Sans, I meant to ask you," Toriel took a seat next to him. "Why are you dressed up so... rebelliously? Also, I did not know you knew the art of teleportation." She giggled behind her paw. 

Red watched her face and felt like a ten ton hammer had just slammed over his head, because all he could see was stars. "uh-uh, i just figured i'd try some new digs, tori, that's all. and-and, well, i just don't like people i don't trust ta know about my, heh, **big** powers."

"And the way you speak, it is different, almost like your accent has deepened?" Toriel blushed somewhat and looked surprised. "Are you trying to impress me, Sans?"

"heh, babe-" Red pulled out his comb and started to nervously comb his bald head. "every-everything i do is for ya. i wish we could sit and tell knock knock jokes for hours like we used ta." This was going to be easier than he thought. He grew more and more anxious and nervous by the second. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that he was speaking truth to her that he had never told anyone before, not even his Toriel.

"If I did not know any better..." Toriel looked aside, almost catching Flowey behind the cactus. He was quick to hide completely behind it. "I would say you were hitting on me. Me! An old, little lady who worries too much."

"well, tori, you'd be correct-"

" **stop!** " Sans, the real Sans, suddenly appeared with a huff and a wheeze. "he-he's-"

"You-you can clone yourself! And... you are hitting on me???" Toriel covered his face with her paws. "Did you read my diary? Two is just a fantasy!" She ran off into the other room. "How embarrassing!!!"

Flowey twitched in place. His mom... was into that walking dumpster??? In any case, Frisk wasn't here and whatever Toriel did in her own time wasn't his business. Flowey plopped into the ground hoping to figure out where Asgore lived.

 

* * *

 

"LISTEN, EDGE, CAN'T YOU JUST GO HANGOUT WITH UNDYNE OR RED OR SOMETHING?" Papyrus whined as they walked together on a sidewalk. "I CAN'T HAVE YOU CRAMPING MY COOL!"

"I CAN'T STAND THAT IDIOT UNDYNE!" Edge crossed his arms, but held up a hand and counted Undyne on it. He raised a finger with every complaint, "EITHER OF THE UNDYNE'S! THEY BOTH SEEM THE SAME. PLUS, RED IS ANNOYING AND ALL HE DOES IS TELL SHITTY ASS JOKES. I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE HOW AWFUL YOUR SANS MUST BE, HE IS THE ONE WHO DRAGGED US INTO THIS MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!"

Papyrus looked down at the ground. "I-I DON'T THINK YOU NEED TO BE SO MEAN, EDGE. SURE, SANS' JOKES ARE TASTELESS AND LAZY, BUT IT ISN'T LIKE HE IS A HORRIBLE PERSON OR ANYTHING..."

"BAH! YOU SOUND JUST LIKE THE HUMAN," Edge balled his counting hand into a fist. "THE HUMAN FRISK, THEY ARE ALWAYS TELLING ME THAT I AM TOO HARD ON SANS, BUT THE TRUTH IS IF I AM NOT HARD ON HIM, THEN HE WILL JUST SHRIVEL UP AND DIE."

"HMM, THAT IS A CONCERN, ISN'T IT?" Papyrus seemed to understand what Edge was talking about. "SAY, YOU HAVE A FRISK IN YOUR WORLD TOO? WHAT ARE THEY LIKE?"

"YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY QUITE LIKE THE HUMAN," Edge announced, but quickly added, "ER- IN A PLATONIC WAY, OF COURSE! THEY ARE MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME, BUT I CANNOT RETURN THEIR INTENSE FEELINGS FOR ME."

"OH! ME TOO!" Papyrus threw up his arms. "FRISK EVEN DATED ME!"

"ME AS WELL," Edge nodded. "THE FRISK FROM MY WORLD IS A GOODY TWO-SHOES! THEY ARE SO MEEK... YET THEY HAVE A POWERFUL WILL! A DETERMINATION THAT EVEN I, THE TERRIBLE PAPYRUS, COULD NOT MATCH. FRISK IS MY APPRENTICE. I THINK I WOULD LIKE TO TRAIN THEM TO BE MY LIEUTENANT IN THE ROYAL GUARD. NYEH HEH HEH!"

"YOUR LIEUTENANT?" Papyrus tilted his head. "IN THE ROYAL GUARD?"

"YES! YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY CAPTAIN IN THE ROYAL GUARD HERE, INFERIOR PAPYRUS," Edge wagged his finger at his counterpart. "AFTER RAT, OR WHATEVER SHE LIKES TO CALL HERSELF, GOT DEMOTED FOR BEING A LIABILITY, I SOARED TO THE TOP! HOW DID YOU BECOME CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD?"

"ER-" Papyrus blushed, his cheeks turning a deep pink. He was definitely not EVER in the royal guard. He really was inferior to Edge! Edge, both handsome AND a captain?! Papyrus stiffened up as he lied, "OH, I BESTED UNDYNE. YES, THAT IS RIGHT. WE FOUGHT FOR THE POSITION, AND SHE LOST!"

"NYEH HEH HEH!!!" Edge cackled. "IF YOU CAN BEAT YOUR UNDYNE, THEN THAT MEANS I MOST CERTAINLY COULD DEFEAT MINE! I'LL BE SURE TO RUB IT IN HER FACE THE NEXT TIME I SEE HER."

The two stopped walking on Papyrus' cue. They stood in front of Muffet's apartment complex. Papyrus looked around nervously, sweating bullets. He did NOT want to share the day he had planned for Muffet with Edge. Especially not if he was handsome, smart, AND a captain. This competition... it was unfair!

"EDGE, WHY DON'T YOU GO FIGHT HER RIGHT NOW?" Papyrus offered. "NOW THAT YOU KNOW YOU COULD TAKE HER ON, WHY NOT GO DO THAT LITERALLY RIGHT NOW AND LEAVE ME ALONE?"

"YOU MAKE A COMPELLING POINT, PAPPY," Edge couldn't bring himself to call Papyrus just by his first name. It was too strange for the interdimensional traveller. "HOWEVER, MY CURIOSITY MUST BE SATED. I HAVE TO KNOW HOW THINGS ARE GOING WITH YOU AND MUFFET. PERHAPS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS THE KEY TO UNDERSTANDING WHAT I AM DOING WR-ER, WHAT I AM DOING TOO CORRECTLY."

"SPEAKING OF WHICH... YOU MENTIONED YOU WERE ON A HOT DATE?"

"YES! AND YOUR SANS RUINED IT!"

"YES, YES, WELL, HOW WAS THAT GOING?" Papyrus waved away the complaints. If Edge was to ruin his day with Muffet he could at least give Papyrus some information. "YOU KNOW, WITH YOUR MISS MUFFET?"

"HMM?" Edge rubbed his chin. "OH, I UNDERSTAND YOUR CONFUSION. I AM NOT DATING MUFFET."

"HUH?" Papyrus put his hands on his hips. "THEN WHO ARE YOU DATING???"

"ME-METTATON," Edge tapped his foot impatiently. "NOW ARE WE GOING TO SEE YOUR WOMAN OR NOT!?"

 

* * *

 

Papyrus so caught up in his discussion with Edge, had no idea that Muffet had walked up to the pair. She spotted them from her window and decided to come out to greet them. Muffet had no idea Edge would be accompanying them, which worried her that her relationship with Papyrus must've already started to dissolve back into friendship as Mettaton had warned her... She came up right as Papyrus asked the question, "Then who are you dating???" When she heard the answer, she froze up on the spot.

This otherworldly Papyrus was dating her friend. Instead, her friend from another universe that she didn't know, so really could she call them her friend? Could you feel jealousy over your romantic love interests' alternative universe self dating some other person? She suddenly felt the same way she did back in Sans' secret lab/apartment. Confused, small, and a bit frightened. Edge noticed her after a moment, and surprisingly gave her a friendly smile, or at least as friendly of a smile as he could with his sharp, pointy teeth.

"GREETINGS, MUFFET," Edge reached out a hand to her. She took it out of habit. Edge bowed his head down and kissed the back of her hand. Muffet felt a smooch despite the lack of lips. So it was possible! This made her heart sink even lower, but she managed a smile at him. "MAY I SAY YOU LOOK LOVELY TODAY?"

Papyrus had a sinking feeling of his own, and he coughed loudly. "YES! MISS MUFFET, YOU ARE VERY GREAT LOOKING! YOU REMIND ME OF A FINE PUZZLE I SOLVED ONCE WHEN I TRAVELED THROUGH HOTLANDS BEFORE THEY ADDED IN ALL THOSE STEAM VENTS..."

"Ah, thank you, Edge and Mr. Papyrus," Edge released Muffet's hand and stood upright. If she didn't know any better, Edge seemed to be trying to appear taller and more formidable than Papyrus. Which, in response, Papyrus straightened himself out and did the same. Muffet could tell they were exactly of the same proportions and giggled. Papyrus could be so silly, and seeing two of them act in this way tickled her. "Well, my dears, it seems we have some plans together, yes? Edge, I am sure you would like to know more about this world? I am quite curious about your's... for example; I find it quite fascinating that..." Muffet gave as wide a smile as she could to mask the woeful feeling she had experienced a moment ago. "You seem to be dating the counterpart of a dear friend of mine. Mettaton, no?"

"YES, THAT IS RIGHT," Edge sounded pleased with himself. He pulled out a wallet from his own battle body, and plucked a picture from inside the wallet to show to present company. "THIS IS MY METTATON, ISN'T HE JUST WONDERFUL?"

Edge's Mettaton had a red and yellow color scheme, completely opposite of Muffet's friend. He also had four eyes and four arms. Edge absentmindedly stroked one of those arms as he held the photo lovingly. 

"Oh my goodness," Muffet blinked. She hadn't expected that much of a difference. "Our Mettaton does not have so many eyes and arms. That is quite different indeed."

"MEH," Papyrus shrugged. "I GUESS I UNDERSTAND. HE HAS SO MANY HANDS YOU COULD HOLD... BUT I PREFERRED HIM AS A RECTANGLE."

"OH, YOU SWEET SUMMER PAPPY," Edge clucked his tongue at Papyrus. "YES, METTATON WAS QUITE HANDSOME AS A RECTANGLE, BUT WE HAVE SOMETHING... A GREAT AND TERRIFYING CONNECTION! WE ARE THE MOST POWERFUL COUPLE IN ALL OF THE WORLD!"

Muffet's cheeks puffed up as she thought about Papyrus finding Mettaton being handsome. She could feel herself becoming more and more jealous. "Anyway, my dear gentlemen, why don't we get moving, hmmm?"

 

* * *

 

 

Flowey finally managed to locate Asgore's home, and luckily, he found Frisk hanging around outside. They seemed to be laying on the ground looking up at the clouds. Flowey almost felt bad about approaching them and interrupting their peaceful time on the surface, but he had to find out what the heck was going on. It occurred to him on his way to Asgore's that there may have very well been two Sans... not a clone, not an illusion, but two Sans. He couldn't really get it, but if anyone could help him, it would be Frisk.

The flower plopped up next to Frisk, but they didn't react. Sometimes Frisk was like that... quiet and serene. It was then that Flowey heard light snores coming out of Frisk, and he grunted. He poked Frisk's cheek with a leaf. "Howdy, Frisk. Surface to Frisk, come in, Frisk."

Frisk stretched and yawned while they turned their head to see Flowey. They froze in place, then jumped up and away from the flower. Flowey felt a bit hurt, but knew Frisk's reaction was for the best. After all... the last time they saw each other, he did warn them about him reverting to their former self.

"L-Long time no see..." Flowey looked aside. "Um... I got your and Papyrus' letters... Even though they were stupid and poorly written, I... appreciated it." He felt so small and so stupid as he said those words. Why would Frisk care? Why was he even bringing up those sappy notes? "Anyway, uh, so... have you been messing with the timeline or anything?"

Frisk tilted their head in thought, but gave a shrug. 

"So it isn't you, huh? Do you know who it might be?" Flowey pressed on. Frisk had to know something, right? Weren't they like... the main character?? Again, Frisk shrugged, but added in a head shake for good measure. "Oh golly, why did I even bother to locate you! What a waste of time!!!"

Frisk scratched their head, then folded their arms. They tapped their foot for a moment as they thought. Flowey felt his impatience growing until Frisk suddenly snapped their fingers.

"Sans? Well," Flowey crossed his leaves. "I did see **TWO** of that smiley trashbag earlier... heh heh, really, the red one was more like a sweaty trashbag... But, why do you think Sans would know anything? He's just another idiot."

Frisk shook their head at Flowey and pointed at their wrist. 

"Okay, we will do this your way," Flowey grumbled. Frisk gave a thumbs up and nodded. "The only thing **you** need to know is that I felt the timeline give a shake. It rumbled, Frisk. It had never done that before... except, I guess, that time when I took all the SOULs and tried to kill you." Flowey's face became one of his scary ones as he said, "But that was a long time ago so **don't** hold that against me!" Frisk seemed to roll their eyes at him and gestured for Flowey to follow. "Ugh, do I... I don't want to see Asgore again; it's just weird. Can't I wait for you out here?" Frisk nodded and ran into the home.

"Ugh, dumb Frisk. Why did I even go to **you** for help? Papyrus, heh, he was a much better puppet-" Flowey spoke to himself as he waited, but he felt a shadow over him. He felt a strange sensation, something familiar, but wrong and twisted. He turned to see what it was behind him.

"How strange, another talking flower," A feminine voice called from behind a... mask? It was a white, round mask with two round, hollowed out eyes, and an X for a mouth. It seemed to be a bunny mask of some kind as it had two long, solid ears attached to it. Whoever they were, they stood a bit shorter than Sans did, and they were shrouded in a red cloak that covered their entire body. All Flowey could see of this person was two thin legs with small, pointy feet that came out of the bottom of the cloak and tufts of black hair that poked out on the top and sides of the mask. Whoever they were, it seemed they had serious bedhead. 

"Uh, don't mind me," Flowey smiled up at them. "I'm just a rare type of monster."

"Hm? Interesting," Her voice was incredibly amused. "But you don't have a SOUL... do you?"

"W-What? How did you-"

"Frisk, be careful! If you tug on my paw any harder, you might just yank it off! Ha ha ha..." Asgore's voice distracted Flowey enough to cause him to turn his head. When Flowey looked back, the mysterious girl had vanished. Before Flowey could do anything, he was spotted by Asgore. Asgore was wearing a pink, Hawaiian-styled shirt. "Oh, howdy, Flowy. Frisk was just telling me about you, and-" Frisk tugged on Asgore's sleeve. "Oh, my apologies. Flowey. Sort of sounds like a name I would come up with, ha ha ha... not that there is anything wrong with your name... er..." Asgore blushed and scratched his beard. "Anyway, Frisk told me you needed to see Sans right away, and I must admit, I am a bit curious about why. Frisk was very insistent that we all go together." Frisk gave Flowey a thumbs up, and Flowey secretly cursed the day they met.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeaaa, that was a bit on the long side... sorry~
> 
> Also, I promise to get back to cutie time fluffies soon! <3


	17. epiphany (3/4)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long delay! As you can see, I really need to split into another fic, but I will wrap up this arc... in the next chapter! There will still be AU shenanigans, but it won't focus on Sans and the past as heavily as this one did - oops!
> 
> I hope to update the finale of this arc this week!

Asgore drove with Frisk and Flowey in the backseat of his car. While Frisk was old enough to sit in the front seat, Toriel had deemed it unsafe as they were still an inch too short. She had tried to apply the logic to Sans, which is part of why he refuses to ride in cars anymore. Frisk held Flowey in their lap, who resided in a flower pot for the time being. Flowey hated being confined to such a small space, but Asgore insisted. 

"You could meet us there, but, I think Frisk could enjoy the company," Asgore smiled at Flowey when they spoke about it. "I must insist you come along for the drive. Frisk was so happy looking when they came to get me, so I think they wish to play with you more."

"Ugh,  **fine** ," Flowey grumbled. 

He really hated Frisk. They had the dumbest look on their face as they watched the trees go by in the window. Flowey wanted to yell at Frisk. Yell about what how horrible things were and how Frisk really shouldn't look so smug and content and happy. The timeline rippled! That  **isn't** normal and it  **isn't** good. Not to mention that doubled up trashbag hanging around Toriel. Asgore still being on his own. Frisk having to be shared by monsters that aren't even their parents. How could Frisk just be okay with all of this?!

Flowey noticed Frisk staring at him, and asked, "What?" Frisk shrugged in response. "No! I'm not car sick! Huh? The face I'm making?" Flowey realized he was making one of his scary faces and relaxed. "I was just thinking, okay! Anyway, just be prepared for the worst. That sweaty trashbag seemed..." Flowey wasn't sure what adjective or phrase to use. Bad? Awful? Red? Like some kind of gothic thug? "Let's just say something about him reminds me of that idiot when he'd give me a bad time." Frisk nodded, narrowing their eyebrows. "Finally, at least you'll take this seriously."

"We are almost at Toriel's house now, kids," Asgore called out from the front seat. Soft rock played on the radio, which seemed to have left Flowey's warning only on Frisk. Which was well enough. No version of Sans, blue, red, or otherwise, could stand a chance against the King of all Monsters. "Frisk, don't forget to offer your friend a beverage or snack when we reach your mother's home. It is important to be polite to guests!"

Asgore had texted Sans earlier and gotten a series of strange messages from him:

ASGORE: Sans, may I ask where you are currently? Frisk would like to visit you.  
sans: im a bit busy atm  
sans: heh heck yea! bring frisky wit u. were at tori's  
sans: ignore that last message. somethings come up.  
sans: ignore that message instead, cuz u rly shud bring frisky here. i wanna meet em

The King gathered that his confusion would be answered once he arrived at Toriel's home. He understood that the likelihood of Toriel wanting to reconcile with him was as close to 0% as one could get, but it hurt a bit to see how close she and Sans had become. He did his best to work past it, however, as Sans was a good monster and always took good care of Frisk. That was more important to the goat monster than almost anything else. Even his dreams of becoming more than friends with Toriel once again.

Asgore parked in Toriel's driveway. The trio, Asgore, Frisk, and Flowey, disembarked without much hassle and walked up to Toriel's door. Before Asgore could knock, the door opened wide revealing Red. Of course, the trio didn't understand the distinction yet, so they just saw a Sans trying on an edgy look.

"eyy, if it isn't the king!" Red held out a hand. "wow, you're blond too. interesting."

"Hmm? Yes, I am blond-" Asgore took the hand and felt a zap of electricity. He let out a short, surprised scream as he pulled his hand away, revealing a buzzer in Red's hand. "Oh, haha. Trying a new prank, Sans?"

"nah, this is an oldie but goodie," Red winked, then retreated into the home. He stopped in the living room. "why doncha come in? have a seat. sans'll be with ya in a sec."

"'In a sec?'" Asgore repeated as Frisk marched up to Red. Asgore took a few steps into the home and closed the door behind him. "But you are right here. I don't believe I've ever heard you speak in the third person before, Sans..."

Frisk studied Red, while Flowey did his best 'Don't look at me, I'm just some dumb plant' impression. Frisk walked a circle around Red, who reacted with a laugh. "heh, frisky! wow, you look just like my frisky. course they're a bit shyer than ya, i think." Red and Frisk looked into each other's eyes. "definitely less shy then my frisky. took them some time to look into these sockets, heh heh." Frisk pursed their lips and made an inquisitive face. "oh yeah, sorry, long story short: i'm not the sans you guys know. i'm sans from an alternate reality where everybody kicks infinitely more ass-"

"Sans! Watch your language, please!" Boomed Toriel's voice. The four of them looked over to see Toriel standing in an open doorway that led to her room. Besides her stood a frazzled-looking Sans. Frisk frowned at the scene. They had never seen Sans look like that before, and it was a bit weird, to say the least. "Frisk, dear, please do not use the word that red Sans used, okay? It is not suitable for you to have heard it." 

"speaking of, while i'm here, i'll be going by red," Red nodded. Despite being lectured by Toriel, he seemed pleased with himself. "so, frisky, looks like you have your little flower **bud** dy here too." Both Sans and Red laughed at the pun. Sans seemed to relax a bit. "course, he looks a lot more put together than our flowey. heh, that guy looks like he got into a fight with a lawnmower." Frisk looked down at Flowey, but he was still acting. His acting had become poor, however, due to the drops of sweat that formed on his brow. "ey, flowey, youse don't gotta hide from me, bud. it's just your friendly sans from another land." 

Frisk gave Flowey a small smile. Flowey sighed and revealed his face. "woah, wait," Sans pointed. "i thought you were doing a bit there, red, but this flower guy is real? so... are you the one that used to talk to papyrus?"

Flowey smiled, "Oh, Papyrus! Yes, I used to talk to him all the time. We are best friends, don't you know?" Flowey was great at performing the role of a sweet, cute flower. "How is Papyrus? I know he will drop another letter for me soon, but I just miss him so darn much."

"he's doin' okay," Sans replied as he walked up to Frisk and Flowey. He stared at Flowey's face for a moment, just smiling. Flowey's left eye began to twitch as he continued to return a smile. The smile started to crack as Flowey thought, 'Geez! Can't this garbage can stop looking at me like that! What I wouldn't do to wipe that  **smug** smile off his face.'

"Sans and Sans... I must admit that I am confused," Asgore spoke up to break the silence. "Er, or did you say you are called Red?" The King looked down at Red, who nodded. "Why are there two of you? What is this about 'another land?'"

"It appears that an accident has occurred," Toriel approached the group, clasping her hands together as she walked. Frisk walked up to her and she placed a loving hand on their head. "Frisk, my child, why are you and  **Dreemurr** here?" Her emphasis on Asgore's last name caused him to straighten up from his relaxed, dad-like posture. "Did you need to see me?"

Frisk looked up at Toriel, then to Sans. They walked over to Sans, Toriel's hand slipping off their head as they moved. The human child held Flowey out before them, emphasizing their point.

"huh, so the timelines are shaking," Frisk nodded, "and this flower-" Sans pointed at Flowey, "told you about it?" Frisk nodded again. "interesting... a flower that can predict the future. a flower that seems to know things they shouldn't know."

Red stepped forward and closed his eye sockets, "ya ever notice the time anomaly, sans?"

"yep."

"i'm gonna confirm that suspicion that ya got. flowey was..." Red looked from Flowey to Frisk. His grin seemed malicious. He seemed to taste and enjoy his next statement, "part of the problem. heh heh."

"part of the problem?" Sans blinked. "what aren't you telling me?"

"it don't matter," Red shrugged. Frisk's grip on Flowey's flower relaxed. For a moment, they were gripping Flowey for dear life. Flowey could even feel the pressure being exerted. He raised a brow. Was Frisk worried about Sans finding out about resets? How stupid. "point is, flowey is aware of the timeline as much as any machine. he can tell when shit is going down. well, flowey, that vibrating you felt was probably from this  _bone_ head-" Red gestured at Sans, "messin' with the time/space continuum! haha! did he almost tear reality apart, bud?"

Flowey narrowed his eyes at Red. As much as he didn't like Sans, he hated this red Sans even more. To talk so casually about the end of the universe, or whatever, was 'beyond the pale,' as his mother would put it. Speaking of whom, he noticed Toriel loom over Red, a glint in her eye. She placed a warning paw on his shoulder. "Red, dear, I do not believe you are helping this conversation. Come with me and help me prepare lunch... after all, there are guests over."

"b-but," Red felt himself being pulled away into the kitchen. "i'm a guest?"

With Red and Toriel out of the living room, Sans slouched onto Toriel's couch and pat the space near him. "let me fill you guys in, i guess." Asgore and Frisk took seats with Sans. Flowey hated that Frisk sat between Asgore and Sans. He wanted to be as far away from that skeleton as possible. The skeleton was the smartest idiot of the bunch, and there was nothing worse than a wise fool. The flower listened as the skeleton recounted the events of the night before. How Sans had built some sort of machine to bring someone back, how it conjured up alternative versions of everyone present "- except muffet, i guess her doppelganger was all _tied_ up-" Flowey raspberried at the pun, and that he was now working on fixing the machine.

"Wait, who are you trying to bring back?" Flowey asked. That part wasn't made explicit.

"i'unno," Sans shrugged. "someone important to me. someone that has to do with me and paps. it's hard to explain." Sans sighed as he felt the lids of his sockets grow heavy. He had forgotten what it felt like to feel this level of exhaustion. Sans hoped it was due to the level of absurdity that had occurred. Meeting an alternative version of himself that was probably way too into punk or metal or whatever other genres you could associate with that particular look. Deep inside, Sans supposed it probably had more to do with the unknown variable. The someone he had hoped to summon. 

"You  **idiot**. You nearly tear apart the  **happy ending**  Frisk got for some random person you don't even  **know**?!" Flowey erupted. The entire facade of Flowey being a cute, nice flower boy faded away in an instant. His face grew grim as he just let everything he had been holding back since, well, forever loose, "You have **no** idea, do you?! What it's like to sacrifice **everything** for **everyone** else, just so they can go on and live this little, **stupid** , happy life without you? Huh? That no one will ever even know what you did even when you could've reaped all the benefits! Even when you **KNEW** what the world was really like!? Worthless." Flowey looked from Sans to his father to Frisk. "You are all worthless and so, so **useless**. It was a mistake for me to come to **you** for help!" With that, Flowey sprung out of the flower pot and dove into Toriel's carpeted floor. While he should have left a hole behind, it seemed the floor mended itself after his departure.

"huh..." Sans looked at Frisk. They shook their head. "he is a bit melodramatic, heh heh."

* * *

 "Yo! Papyrus!" Undyne waved from the entrance of the city's only aquarium. She stood alongside Alphys, Rat, and Felphys. Undyne and Alphys wore their favorite dating clothes - aka the only pair of acceptable clothing they owned. Rat and Felphys, on the other hand, were stuck wearing their duds from the previous night. Papyrus, Muffet, and Edge approached the group. Papyrus looked less than pleased, while Muffet and Edge seemed to be their usual selves. "Oh, and hey... uh, evil Papyrus???"

"I-I think we decided on E-Edge," Alphys averted Edge's gaze the best she could. After getting to know Rat and Felphys, she didn't find them so scary, even if Undyne referred to them as their evil counterparts. Rat was hardly evil. Based on what Alphys was able to overhear she had tried to overthrow the Mad King Asgore of their universe and failed. Really, she was like a tragic heroine from a very cool, but sad Anime. Felphys, on the other hand, was less of an Otaku and more of a hardcore gamer. Of course, it seemed to Alphys that Felphys spent very little time with Rat in their world since Felphys even on this date had her face glued to her handheld gaming system. Alphys sighed just thinking of how sad Rat must feel. "F-f-fancy seeing you all here."

"Ahuhu, what a pleasant surprise," Muffet clasped all her hands together earnestly. "Are you here on a day trip? Showing our guests around the city, Undyne?"

"YOU BETCHA," Undyne cast a competitive glance at Rat. "AFTER ALL, IT IS ONLY POLITE TO SHOW OUR GUESTS WHAT THIS WORLD IS LIKE. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, RAT?"

Rat closed her good eye and nodded. "Oh yes, Undyne. It is polite to do so... but what is better than that? To buy tickets!" Rat pulled tickets out from under her shirt and flashed them like Undyne had activated her trap card. "AND WHILE YOU WERE BUSY STARING AT YOUR CUTE GIRLFRIEND, I BOUGHT EVERYONE THEIR TICKET. AHAHAHA!"

"THIS IS GOOD..." Edge whispered to himself as the Undynes were distracted. "EVEN MY UNDYNE IS BETTER THAN YOUR'S. NYEH HEH HEH!"

"N-No!" Undyne stumbled backward. "That... That can't be!"

"My, aren't you two lively," Muffet giggled behind the palm of her hand. She couldn't help but find this strange form of rivalry cute. "Did you happen to foretell our appearance as well, Rat? Did you purchase our tickets too?" A shine gleamed from both fish ladies' darkened eyes. "Afterall... we are guests to your trip now." In the blink of an eye, they made a mad dash for the ticket counter. Muffet laughing the whole while. "Ahuhu, it will be nice to have some extra cash in my pocket. Ahuhuhu~"

"IT LOOKS LIKE YOU STILL GOT IT!" Papyrus put a hand on Muffet's shoulder. "THAT'S MY LITTLE HUSTLER!"

"O-Oh, Mr. Papyrus..." Muffet blushed as she looked at the touching hand.

Alphys sighed as Felphys cheered. The stranger dinosaur just topped her high score. Felphys looked up finally and pocketed her system. "E-Er, what location is this? Weren't we just a-at your house, Dr. Alphys?"

 

After gaining admission, the group slowly made their way through the various tanks. They stopped at one tank, in particular, that was darkened. Undyne squinted her eye to try to find whatever underwater critter may've lived in the tank. That was when Alphys pointed at a weird lump.

"Woah!" Rat exclaimed as she pointed along with Alphys. "That looks like a melted human face!!!"

"Ahuhu~ indeed it does, hmm, Rat," Muffet wasn't sure if calling her Rat was nice. She supposed it was what the girl wanted, but it still felt strange to call her by the name of a rodent. "Oh, it looks like this is a Blobfish. It is said to live in the deep depths of the ocean floor." 

Papyrus smiled down at Muffet and exclaimed, "WOWIE MISS MUFFET! YOU ARE SO SMART TO KNOW ABOUT THIS STRANGE CREATURE OFFHAND."

"NYEH! IDIOT PAPPY," Edge crossed his arms and stood on Muffet's other side. "SHE WAS MERELY READING THE PREPARED STATEMENT HUMANS MADE FOR THIS CREATURE. OBSERVE!" Edge grabbed Papyrus' skull and turned it to look at the plaque. The grab was aggressive and nearly pulled Papyrus' head clean off his body. "I HAVE NO DOUBTS YOUR MUFFET IS MORE INTELLIGENT THEN THE ONE FROM HOME. THIS ONE KEEPS HERSELF IN QUITE GOOD CONDITION! HOWEVER, YOU SHOULD NOT ISSUE UNDUE PRAISE, FOOL." Edge released Papyrus' skull with a jerk. For some reason, Papyrus felt like Sans was lecturing him. Don't do this. Don't go there. Don't do that. 

Papyrus' smile became smaller and controlled. He felt something bubble inside of him, but looking at Muffet's surprised and scared face pulled him back to the present. "A-AH, SURE, EDGE."

Undyne's lips twisted into a snarl, and she was about to destroy this Edge fellow, interdimensional peace be damned! Until Rat suddenly grabbed Edge and suplexed him onto the ground. "EDGE, STOP BEING RUDE TO OUR HOSTS! WHERE ARE YOUR MANNERS, YOUNG MAN!? IN THE NAME OF TRUE JUSTICE, I WILL DISCIPLINE YOU!"

"DON'T SUPLEX YOUR CAPTAIN!" Edge cried out.

Thus a total scene was made as all the humans and monsters in the area stared at them. Papyrus put a bony hand on Muffet's shoulder, and she looked up at him. The skeleton seemed to be caught in a permanent wince.

"I... I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. I WILL COME FIND YOU..." Papyrus walked off as Alphys nearly died from all the attention. Muffet felt her heart sink into her stomach. She knew Papyrus never needed to really use the bathroom. He avoided eating human food at _most_ costs. Instead, he just looked incredibly disappointed. He was the one who called all these people to their date so then why was he the one acting upset? If he did not want all these people here, he should simply have said something to them. Or her! 

Alphys ushered everyone into the dark area of the aquarium, where more creatures of the depths could be found, in order to avoid the glares of the people staring at them. 

"Where did Pap go?" Undyne asked Muffet.

"It appears he needed to use the restroom," Muffet looked away from Undyne and into one of the tanks. It seemed to have one of the infamous Anglerfish in it. "I'll wait near the entrance to this spot so he knows where we went. Please feel free to explore without us for now."

"I'LL STAY BEHIND AS WELL..." Edge crossed his arms. "IT WOULD BE UNBECOMING OF A CAPTAIN TO LEAVE A LADY BEHIND."

 

Papyrus stood inside a stall in the men's restroom. He desperately wanted to sit down, but if the thought of touching a private toilet scared him, then the public toilet was definitely toxic. He leaned against the stall wall and kept his eyes closed tightly. Being touched by the other Papyrus freaked him out. Being lectured by him... it made him feel... like he was going to set the guy on fire. Papyrus could feel a burning sensation inside his skull, the same feeling he got from when he trained with Undyne, but it felt wild and furious. Papyrus had felt anger before, but he never felt the urge to actually beat anyone up before. 

That was when he heard a rapping on his stall door.

"ER, O-OCCUPIED?" Papyrus had never been in a public restroom stall. Was it normal for humans to knock? He assumed these were shrines of privacy, despite the gaping holes in the stalls. "I WILL BE OUT IN A MOMENT."

"Take your time," Sounded a small, female voice. Female voice? Had he accidentally gone into the women's restroom again? He immediately opened the door in a rush to apologize but was taken back for a moment as he looked down at what he imagined had to be a monster girl. She wore a white, bunny mask that had a simple face painted on and a red cloak that had the hood pulled up. The eyes of the mask seemed hollowed out, but Papyrus could only see the darkness inside the mask. No eyes or skin. Yes, she was indeed a monster child. Her SOUL had that certain quality to it that Papyrus could tell just by looking. "So your time is now?"

"HUH?" Papyrus scratched his head. "MY TIME? ER, I DON'T FOLLOW. ANYWAY, SORRY FOR BEING IN THE LADY'S ROOM. I THOUGHT I HAD CHECKED THIS TIME."

"Pah-Papyrus," The odd girl stuttered out his name. She seemed to just stare at him for a moment. Papyrus stared back for a moment before coming to his senses. Before Papyrus could ask if he knew her, she held up a small, gloved hand. Her gloves were black and her hands seemed tiny, even tiny compared to Muffet. She seemed to stand about as tall as Frisk. "Pa... Papyrus, what you see is not what you think it is. Please, do not overreact. Okay?"

"DO I KNOW YOU?" Papyrus craned his neck lower, hoping to see into her mask. "WHO ARE YOU? SHOULD YOU BE IN THE MEN'S BATHROOM BY YOURSELF? THERE ARE WEIRDOS THERE!!!" Papyrus smiled, "LIKE ME!"

"Hoh hoh," The girl chuckled, "Indeed, I probably should not come into places like these, but no one else is in here. Please just heed my warning. I shouldn't be involved with you, but I couldn't help but detect a problem. I shouldn't help you again... take care."

"YOU TOO, I GUESS?" Papyrus watched as the girl did a small bow and waddled out of the restroom. 

* * *

Sans showed everyone, Frisk, Asgore, Toriel, and Red, his machine. Red had already seen it, of course, having emerged from it the other day. Red had teleported everyone to the secret lab without breaking a sweat, which Sans mentally noted. It would appear his other self was a lot stronger than him. Frisk explored the room while adults gathered around the machine.

"Sans, you made this on your own?" Toriel gasped as she looked it over. "This architecture is like nothing I have ever seen... though, actually, it seems somewhat familiar..."

"Ah, I know what this looks like," Asgore looked from the machine to Toriel. "It resembles the CORE. Er, it is the large machine that powers all of the Underground."

"Do not presume to assume what I do and do not know, Dreemurr," Toriel fired at Asgore. A faint pink flush crept onto her cheeks as she looked to Sans, then Red. The two skeletons looked at each other with a shrug.

"the CORE," Sans began, "was the source of all power and energy in the underground. saying this for frisk, of course." Sans winked as Frisk raised a brow at him. They stood near his workbench and stopped to pay attention to Sans for Toriel's sake. "it was an incredible feat of technology and magic fused together. the thing was so massive, we had to get ice from snowdin just to keep it from overheating. artificial rivers were constructed to that end. pretty impressive, huh?"

"So that explains how I was able to take a ferry down to Hotland," Toriel nodded along with Sans' explanation. "There was no such river present when I originally sequestered myself." Toriel reexamined the machine and tilted her head at Sans. "For what purpose did you construct a similar machine?"

"for that missin' person," Red piped up and took Toriel's attention. Her gaze made him feel lightheaded, a feeling he soon grew addicted to. "'course, me n' the other guys from the other universe showed up instead. ain't it interesting?"

As the adults continued to discuss how the machine was supposed to work, or really theorize on it, Frisk turned their attention to the workstation Sans had set-up in the room. Frisk spotted the familiar blueprints, complete with strange symbols, like letterboxes, bombs, and hands, and gave them a good, hard look. They frowned as they struggled to recall: was this run the one that included Sans acknowledgment that Frisk was a time traveler? For Frisk, sometimes it was hard to keep track of what they said to their friends during their time underground. Frisk, being the precocious child that they were, looked through one of Sans' top drawers. There it was: the strange badge. The thing was golden. The Delta Rune lay plainly in the center with strange symbols around the crest. The symbols matched the ones on the blueprints. As Frisk held it up to inspect it, it caught Asgore's eye as it glinted in the light. 

"Oh, that thing in your hand, Frisk, what is it?" Asgore walked over and stuck out his paw. Frisk placed it in his palm. "Oh, a badge you say? This looks familiar..." Asgore twisted and turned it around in his claws. "Ah, this is it! I had looked for this badge for quite some time now. Hum... I don't remember these symbols, though."

"oh the badge? you know what it is?" Sans turned his attention to Asgore and Frisk. "don't know where i picked it up, but i couldn't part with it."

"Oh hoh, that's strange, Sans, you should know what this is," Asgore held it up to show it off to Toriel, Red, and Sans. "This is the badge signifying that one is the royal scientist. I meant to give it to Dr. Alphys when she accepted the position, but I was unable to find it anywhere. To think, you had it this whole time despite declining my offer."

"it's... for the royal scientist?" Sans whispered. "why don't i remember that?"

"Strange, the symbols on this badge have nothing to do with the Delta Rune crest," Toriel added as she took the badge from Asgore and looked at it. "I do recall that we created this badge for the royal scientist... hmm... what was his name?"

"Hoh, I forget," Asgore shrugged, crossing his arms. "Such a huge loss for him to... did he quit? I forget."

"heh," Red laughed suddenly. He suddenly laughed and laughed and laughed. It scared Frisk, but they stood between Red and everyone else protectively. Instinctively. "oh, frisky, ya don't gotta worry," Red smirked, "i ain't lost my marbles. in fact, i think i jus' found'em. man, being on the other side of this is eye-openin'."

"did you just figure something out, red?" Sans watched Red carefully. "care to share with the class?"

"tor, do ya remember the theory i told ya back in the kitchen?" Red asked the goat woman. She nodded and smiled down at him.

"Oh, yes! I recall. It was quite interesting. Why do you ask?" Toriel thought for a moment before making an 'oh!' voice. "Do you think it is related?"

"it sure is... lemme walk this _bone_ head through it," Red looked Sans directly in the sockets, "and i wonder if you, with all your brains n' crap, will be able to keep up. it'll be an interestin'... experiment. heh heh heh!"

"stop jerking me around, red," Sans crossed his arms. "just spill it."

"ya may've heard this, after all both our universes have a CORE, but i think it would help to jog your memory. i only just remembered this myself," Red closed his sockets in recollection. "let'see... the CORE requires a tremendous amount of cooling to do what it does, yeah? like you said, gotta keep it from overheatin' or else the whole underground would've been fu-" Red could feel his SOUL get pierced by Toriel's warning shot. He opened his eyes and confirmed it. Wiping sweat from his brow, he continued, "would've been in real trouble. heh heh heh, no worries, kiddo is still innocent!" Red coughed, "a-anyway, needless ta say, if you fall into the front end of the CORE, which all rivers from snowdin flow toward, you get dusted. like instantly. we had a lotta issues with that in our universe, but whatever. only dummies stand so close to the edge of the mouth of the CORE." Red shrugged, "not our prob, right?"

"get on with it," Sans rolled his pinpricks. "i already know all of that."

"hey, don't hurry me, this is for frisky's benefit too," Red smiled sweetly at Frisk. Frisk felt shivers crawl up their spine, just like every time that Sans had judged them in the hall. Even without any EXP, Sans' power creeped them out. "so, the theory is based on this question: what happens when ya fall into the other end of the CORE?"

"The other end?" Asgore scratched behind one of his ears thoughtfully. "You mean where the energy comes out from?"

"naw, that is properly secured and travels through cables and cords just like these humans and their power lines," Red shook his head. "to clarify, i'm talkin' the other end of the cooling system. what happens when ya fall into the other end of it?"

"you mean... the exhaust?"

"bingo, blue," Red winked. "the design of the CORE seemed quite clean, huh? there is only one place where the exhaust comes out from, but nothing, no smoke or heat, ever came out according to what i read... and what i feel that i know."

"the exhaust... that giant hole in..." Sans held his chin with one hand as he placed his other hand on his hip. "that's in that room... where i found paps."

"Oh! Where you found Papyrus?" Toriel questioned. "I always thought he was your relation by blood. Er... by bone?" 

"he is," Sans nodded. "i meant, that's the room where i found him unconscious a few years back."

"same as me," Red's shit-eating grin grew larger. "why dontcha tell us all about it, blue?"

"hm? well, i remember i was in the monitor room with my gir- with alphie, and i saw on the monitor for the exhaust room something scary," Sans looked up at everyone. "he was pulling someone, and i remember running and running. i ran to that room, and when i got there, papyrus was on the ground, his arm dangling inside the exhaust."

"now here's my final puzzle piece," Red snapped his finger. "theory back in my universe is this: anybody who falls into the exhaust has a horrible fate befall 'em. maybe something so horrible where if it ever happened... no one would ever know. pretty scary, huh? so what do you think, blue?"

"you mean to say that anyone who falls into that hole is just forgotten?" Sans tested, and Red nodded. Sans shook his head. "that's preposterous. there's no evidence for that. besides, to erase someone from living memory? how would you even accomplish that?" Red shrugged. The room fell silent. Even Frisk started to feel uncomfortable and thought of what to say. What could they say that would help Sans? It became clearer to them what he tried to do, but Frisk still didn't understand all of the science-magic junk behind their words.

"Hold on," Asgore stepped up. Everyone looked at him as his words cut through the silence. "You said Papyrus was pulling someone? Who was he pulling?"

"huh?" Sans stepped backward. "he... he pulled someone?"

"You just said so yourself," Toriel nodded, agreeing with Asgore for once. "You stated he was pulling someone... does that not mean that whoever it was-"

"they were in the exhaust?" Sans interrupted. His sockets grew wide, panicked. "i did say that, didn't i? he pulled someone, and so when his hand was in the exhaust... then that means...!"

"whoever it was didn't make it," Red nodded. He took a step besides Sans and placed a hand on his shoulder. "seein' that badge and hearin' you talk like you didn't recognize it... yeah, this confirms a couple of my suspicions and opened the door. maybe since i am not the sans from this universe, it was easier for me ta piece together." Red took a deep breath before he burst out laughing, his shoulders rolling. "or it's cause big-time science guy over here can't see the forest for the trees, **ha ha ha**!" He actually wiped tears from the edge of his eyes. "hoh boy, so glad i'm not the dumbest sans out there. what a relief!"


	18. ahaha~ (4/4)

"Thank you for waiting with me, Mr. Edge," Muffet pulled out her cellphone to check the time. Papyrus had been in the bathroom for quite a while. She wondered if he would die of embarrassment if she called him while he was using the facilities. Papyrus hated to use toilets, but it had become a necessary evil. Muffet wondered if she should try cooking more magical meals to meet him halfway. "Ahuhu, I hope my love is doing alright."

"HA, I BET IT IS ALL THE HUMAN FOOD YOU HAVE HIM EATING," Edge snapped his finger. "OUR MAGNIFICIENT SKELETAL FORMS HAVE A HARDER TIME PROCESSING THAT DRIVEL!"

Muffet turned her attention back to the tank in front of them. "What does your Mettaton have you eat?"

"EH," Edge fell silent for a moment. His expression read of a man searching for a lie. "ER. NOTHING! I PREPARE NUTRITIOUS AND DELICIOUS MEALS FOR US BOTH."

"Ahuhu~" Muffet gave a toothy laugh. Teasing the innocent filled her with glee! Of course, it sounded as though this Papyrus had done some fun things, but wasn't this Papyrus at least somewhat like her own? "It certainly sounds like that is not the full story. Mr. Edge, do share."

"N-NO!" Edge crossed his arms, "I-I WILL NOT SHARE MY PRIVATE BUSINESS WITH YOU."

"Fair enough," Muffet didn't want to prod him further and took in his blushing face. It was prize enough to elicit such a reaction from such a scary monster. "Though, if I can be honest with you I would love to know more about you and Mettaton. To think there is a world out there where there are other versions of ourselves! The many paths we took to be so different. I find it just... interesting."

"I UNDERSTAND YOUR INTRIGUE," Edge offered Muffet a dastardly smile, "TRUTH BE TOLD, METTATON APPROACHED ME. HE HAD MADE A SINGLE APPEARANCE IN HIS MORE HUMANOID STATE, BUT HE MAINTAINED THAT GORGEOUS RECTANGULAR FORM FOR MANY MONTHS. HOW COULD I REFUSE?" Edge blushed despite himself. "SUCH A GLORIOUS MACHINE! HIS LOOKS COULD KILL, YET IT IS A RISK I AM WILLING TO TAKE!" Edge relaxed his posture somewhat as he continued. "I WAS FIRST ASTOUNDED TO LEARN THAT YOU AND PAPY WERE TOGETHER IN SOME WAY, BUT NOW THAT I HAVE COME TO KNOW YOU IT SEEMS ONLY NATURAL!"

"I am happy to hear you say that." The spider worried day and night about her compatibility with Papyrus, so to hear this news from another Papyrus lifted a great weight from her shoulders. Her Papyrus was so kind, considerate, and charming in his own way. Could she really deserve someone like that? She giggled to hide her concern, though she wondered why Edge would be surprised to learn of her relationship with his counterpart. Perhaps she would ask him another time.

Muffet felt a tug on one of her pinky fingers and had a strange feeling that something may've been wrong. Edge saw her expression and did something that seemed like it would be uncharacteristic of him - he took her hand. Muffet was caught off-guard and looked up at the sinister skeleton. He smiled as he said, "WHILE YOU ARE UNLIKE THE MUFFET I KNOW, IT FEELS LIKE I CAN STILL READ YOUR FACE. I GREW UP WITH HER, YOU KNOW."

"You did?" Muffet couldn't hide her interest. She had to know more. Why, oh why, did Edge end up with Mettaton? 

"YES. WE WERE YOUNG AND PLAYED AMONG THE TRASH, AS ALL CHILDREN OF THE KINGDOM DO," Edge nodded along to his story. "HOWEVER, SHE IS NOT WHAT IS IMPORTANT HERE. I SENSE SOME LEVEL OF WORRY!" Edge searched her face, but she gave no further hints. "DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH PAPY? NYEH, I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD WORRY ABOUT HIM."

"Hu~ why would you say that?" Muffet raised a brow as she smirked. Papyrus had told her to play nice with Edge, but Papyrus wasn't around and Edge seemed to enjoy bullying her love.

"I CAN TELL YOU HAVE ACHIEVED HIS INCREDIBLY HIGH AND INSURMOUNTABLE STANDARDS," Edge closed his eyes. "THOUGH YOU MAY FEEL YOU DO NOT OWN HIS HEART, THAT IS ONLY BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE ONE. LITERALLY! OTHERWISE, I WOULD SAY YOU OWN HIM..." Edge looked shiftily around as if to ensure no other soul heard his next words, "BONES AND ALL! NYEH HEH HEH!!!"

 

Papyrus exited the bathroom after his baffling encounter with the small, monster girl. How strange. So it turned out even girls could walk into the wrong restroom! Yet, she issued him a warning about not overreacting. The gall and nerve of the stranger. Papyrus never overreacted a day in his life! He reacted only with equal force to the events around him, and as such, he always reacted at appropriate levels. To imply otherwise was to claim that Papyrus was overly sensitive! No, Papyrus was a brave man who committed courageous acts in the name of friendship and being very cool! There could be no doubt that the little girl had intended to warn a different monster about not overreacting. How funny to think a tiny fortuneteller could get so mixed up.

Hmm... was she a fortuneteller? The girl never said as much, but Papyrus got the impression that she was one. Her voice sounded familiar, despite the fact that her accent was very strange unlike Papyrus' completely normal accent that sounded just like everybody else, but he was quite certain he'd never seen that child a day in his entire life! Then again... Papyrus was quite aware he had a rather sizable memory lapse since he woke up in the hospital, confused and lonely, so many years ago. Sometimes, even Papyrus wasn't sure what he remembered, what he forgot, what was a real memory, what was an imagined one, and what, if anything, he ever remembered could ever truly be trusted if the memory came from before he awoke to a scared and troubled brother.

These thoughts and feelings perplexed the great skeleton, which didn't help when he saw that fiend Edge standing with Miss Muffet! The two of them stood close. Too close for Papyrus' comfort. They were both talking to each other and smiling at each other, and Edge even reached out a took one of Muffet's hands into his. She laughed! THEN HE LAUGHED!?

Eyes bulging from his head, Papyrus felt something of a migraine overcoming him. He wanted to march right over to them and fight that dastardly doppelganger!

And yet... his SOUL flickered within him and struggled against Muffet's web, her great hold over him. Muffet, as he suspected, deserved someone even greater than Papyrus. And who is greater than another Papyrus who accomplished his goals? Defeated, Papyrus walked off on his own and out of the Aquarium. He had meant to visit Onionsan, but, that would have to happen another day.

 

The other skeleton brother was having a hard time himself. Red painted a clear picture for Sans. The skeleton in the blue hoodie looked from Red to Toriel to Asgore to Frisk, then back to the machine. A machine to pull someone back from an unknown abyss. He recalled suddenly that he already figured that out! Back a few chapters ago, he had already pieced that together yet somehow he forgot. Again. Sans' memory was so hazy, and he suddenly so forgetful. Even after hearing Red explain it, Sans nearly forgot it again, the memory like ketchup running through his bony fingers. Unless he could figure out how to grasp his goal, Sans would likely be unable to remember. 

And quite frankly, that was a bit embarrassing.

"heh, don't worry 'bout it too much, blue." Red offered his condolences. "all of us suffer from being so forgetful n' such. but yeah, i don't think i can really help ya with much more n' that."

"'all of us'?" Sans could guess what Red meant, but felt the need to ask, "what'd ya mean by that?"

"there are other universes out there, chum." Red shrugged. It wasn't a big reveal in his eyes. This information did cause the king and queen to gasp. "'course i wasn't so rudely pulled from my own before. i got visited before by, uh, a few of our counterparts."

"i see..."

Frisk took all this information in but found it hard to understand. There were multiple worlds? Many different Frisks? They wondered for a moment how different they could be in these other places. Was it like when they reset? It was a bit confusing.

"anyway, i'm bored n' don't wanna hang around here too much longer," Red put his hands into his jacket pockets.

"Oh? It sounds like you plan to leave, Red Sans." Asgore said.

"i don't like all this nerd shi-crap," Red nervously glanced at Toriel who raised a brow at him. He wiped some sweat from his brow as he added, "i can't really help rebuild this machine or nothin', so i'm just gonna go visit my bro." After that sentence, Sans expected Red to depart immediately, but instead, Red's skull lost its red glowing glare. Red was able to pinpoint SOULs in his teleports so for Red not to teleport hastily away meant something was wrong. Sans felt a cold wave wash over him. "uhh," Red looked over to Sans, "we got trouble."

 

"NYOH HOO HOO," Papyrus overreacted elsewhere. His SOUL felt so heavy and he was drawn away from the aquarium where his friends were. He walked and walked, and he could almost hear little voices whispering to him...

'Poor you, poor you.' Papyrus shuffled forward and turned down a dark alleyway. As he marched, it grew unnaturally dark, but he couldn't tell right at that moment. His brain felt like cotton candy. 'Sweet, Papyrus. Great Papyrus. Poor you.' The voices were numerous. Cacophonous. They sounded like familiar little chirps, but Papyrus couldn't pay attention to the feeling of deja vu it seemed to give him as his feet slowed down. 'Poor you, poor you,' the voices continued to chirp around him. 'Lucky for you, our lady will take you in.'

A giggle echoed all around Papyrus, it's reverb shook his bones until they rattled. Finally, he had the will to look up at the source as his SOUL thumped outside his chest in a deep fuschia color.

"MISS MUFFET?"

"Oh yes, hello, my dear Papyrus," Muffet? appeared before him as she descended from the web above him. This spider dressed in dark, tattered clothing. A red emblem stood out to him that rested on Muffet's bosom. A red hourglass. Hadn't Muffet worn different clothing earlier? Not only that... but she usually called him Mister Papyrus unless she was mad at him. He had learned that much in his time with her! "Ahaha~ that look of confusion! My my, how _endearing_." Was she mocking him? Muffet never insulted Papyrus in such a way! "Positively delightful."

"MISS MUFFET, I, ER, WHY ARE WE IN THIS DARK ALLEY?" Papyrus shivered as he realized what seemed like thousands of spiders crawled over his bones. His time with Muffet had rendered him immune against any sort of silly fear of spiders, but his secret fear that Muffet might one day gobble him up was certainly showing. "I D-DON'T RECALL WALKING OUT THIS WAY..."

"Ahaha~ Papyrus, I led you here," Muffet strolled up to him, but the way she moved was odd to him. Her body swayed like a pendulum, yet somehow Papyrus felt her movements were exaggerated much like Sans' sense of work ethic. A light suddenly went off in his head. "I learned that no one has claimed you in this universe, my love. I've come to collect what is rightfully mine. If  **he** won't love me, then you will."

"GULP." The skeleton's body became so constricted that if he were any other type of living being, they would likely have died. Thankfully, Papyrus was skin and bone, minus the skin. _Bzz. Bzz._ His phone buzzed in his pocket. He realized it had been for quite a while. "YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT MY MUFFET."

"No," the spider reached up and stroked Papyrus' chin, "but you are definitely my Papyrus. Ahahaha~"

 

"WOW, THAT IS A FAIRLY SCARY FACE," Edge pointed at the other spider girl. "DID I TELL A PUN TOO MANY? UGH, HAVING TWO SANSES AROUND IS REALLY RUBBING OFF ON ME."

"No, something is wrong," Muffet felt another tug on her pinky. "Ahuhu~ no, I felt a chill just now. Papyrus won't answer my calls... and he  **always** answers them."

"HMM, I'VE BEEN KNOWN TO ANSWER MY CELLULAR PHONE IN THE MOVIE THEATER WHEN METTATON CALLS ME, SO THIS IS AN ALARMING DEVELOPMENT!"

As Edge was about to investigate the men's room despite his protestations for the last several minutes, Red and Sans popped into view. Without hesitation, Red hugged onto his little brother. "aw paps, thank asgore it aint you!"

"GET OFF OF ME YOU IMBECILE!" Blushing, Edge pushed Red away. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

"muffet," Sans stared at the spider with an empty expression, though she recognized it. He made similar faces back when they weren't on the best of terms. "have you seen my bro around...?" Wordlessly, Muffet pointed in the bathroom, but Sans shook his head. "edge is the only papyrus that red was able to see... but he did see a bunch of muffets."

"EGADS! THAT SPIDER IS HERE?!" A terrified look exploded onto Edge's face. His whole body trembled. "I THOUGHT SHE HADN'T ARRIVED WITH US THROUGH THAT MACHINE!"

"when we checked the inside of the machine, asgore got some hot pink webbing on his horn," Sans stated as calmly as he could. "it seems their version of muffet is able to mind control spiders, and it seems to throw off red's radar for SOULs... she seems to be masking paps, muffet. do you have any idea where he could've gone?"

"N-No-" Muffet started, but Sans quickly interrupted her.

"no? what do you mean no? you lost sight of my amnesiac brother? you just let him wander off?" Sans didn't shout or scream. He spoke slowly. Calmly. This is how Muffet knew he was actually pissed off at her. Sans was his brother's keeper, and in some ways, he expected Muffet to do the same. For them both to care for Papyrus as though he was a child. Muffet wanted to give him a snide remark, but her pinky tugged again. She almost ignored it until Sans said, "who are you?"

"Oh, I am not important, really." The monster girl in red from earlier held Muffet's hand and seemed to be examining the pinky. She looked up for a brief moment and said, "But my name is Hel, though I am sure eventually that would have been made... **apparent**."

"Ahuhu~ dearie, you shouldn't go around touching strange monsters," Muffet pat the girl on the head. "Now run along, my sweet."

"Mmmuffet," Hel mumbled the spider's name. Muffet thought the girl seemed familiar, perhaps they had met before somewhere? "There is a red string here." Hel held up Muffet's hand.

"Dearie," Muffet felt her patience being tried, but couldn't find it in herself to yell at the girl. "There are more important matters at hand-"

"yea, like my missing brother. so, uh, kiddo, if you don't mind, could you leave us adults to discuss this?"

"Oh, I could do that, but..." Hel tugged at the red thread tied on Muffet's pinky. The thread was not very long, but stood up and seemed to point in a direction. "You could just use this to find Papyrus. It might make things easier, and maybe less messy."

"W-What is this?" The red thread had not been there before. Muffet moved her hand around, but the thread always pointed in the same direction. "How do you know this will work, Hel?" Muffet and everyone looked to the mysterious girl, but she had somehow already vanished. "Ahuhu~ someone tell me I've hit the spider cider a bit too hard."

 

With no other leads, Muffet, Sans, Red, and Edge followed after the pointed end of the red thread. It wasn't too long before they found themselves in the same alleyway as a now cocooned Papyrus. His head comedically protruded from the cocoon, though his expression read of terror and confusion. As the monsters approached the trapped skeleton, Muffet's red string faded away. 

"DON'T STEP CLOSER!" Papyrus warned. As he shouted, an echoing laugh pierced everyone's ears. "EVIL MUFFET MIGHT TRY TO EAT YOU GUYS TOO!"

"Ahaha~ If it isn't the failure of this universe," they all heard Muffet's voice speak, but couldn't pinpoint the source of the voice. It sounded like she was moving around above them, but they couldn't see her. "This is my Papyrus. Finders keepers as the humans say..." She had created a canopy of webbing above them, which made the alley as dark as a cave. Red and Sans' eyes were glowing their respective colors, letting them peer into the darkness. Edge couldn't see well at all, and stayed behind his brother(s). "I heard from my dear Papyrus here that we all took on nicknames, isn't it great to reinvent yourself? I suppose I will go by Widow, ahahaha~"

Muffet could see perfectly in the dark. The first thing she did was note that the walls were completely covered in webbing. The floor near Papyrus was as well. She looked for Widow and found her quite easily dangling in the corner. Their eyes locked. "Ahuhu~ I wondered what I would look like if I had gone a bit darker. It's actually a cute look for you." No wonder Edge had been scared. Widow's manic eyes painted a horrifying picture. It reminded her of a character in a game Alphys had tried to bond with Muffet over. A yandy-ray? Whatever their name was, Widow had the look of a killer. Someone who would kill to get the one she loves. Someone who would torture the one she loves. There was no way Muffet would let this Widow kidnap anyone, let alone Papyrus. "Unfortunately for you, Papyrus is his own monster. Not a toy for you, dearie."

"Oh, no, he isn't a toy," the Papyrus cocoon started to rise and Widow dangled low near the brother. She rested a hand on his head, which caused Papyrus to shiver with fear. "He is my prince, and we will live happily ever after, of course."

"M-MUFFET," Edge interrupted. If looks could kill, Widow's glance would have shot daggers right through his SOUL. He nearly took a step back, but stood his ground. He felt safe with two Sanses around, though he would never admit to it. "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I THOUGHT YOU WERE GETTING BETTER?"

"Silence, you heartbreaker!" Widow shouted at him in a most unladylike fashion. Edge's lips became tight. "How could you and my best friend do this to me? How? I loved you. I always loved you. I protected you. How could you - how how how-" Widow abruptly stops her rambling and takes a deep breath. After a moment, she smiles down at him. "It doesn't matter now. I have a Papyrus of my own. We can all be happy. Well, most of us." 

"what's the plan?" Sans whispered to Red. "you are stronger than i am, can't you take her down easy?"

"what? dude? you never fought muffet?" Red quaked in his shoes as he spoke. Sans didn't realize how scared Red looked until they looked socket to socket just now. "her power trumps ours. you don't know that?"

"tsk," Sans couldn't hesitate any longer. Red may be scared, but he lacked Sans' brains. Maybe Red was strong, but Sans could break time and space to do his attacks. He had to save Papyrus from this crazy spider! 

The blue coated skeleton threw out his hand and went to grab Widow's SOUL. It popped from her chest and became blue. In the blink of an eye, this would be over. He wouldn't dust her, that was a cruel thing to do to someone who needed help. He would surround her with bones and overwhelm her. Maybe knock her out. As he brought his hand down, to tear Widow away from her own webbing, he spied the corner of her lips curl up into a fiendish smile as her SOUL thumps and becomes purple. 

"Got you," she sneers as Sans realizes his SOUL has become purple. Suddenly, he can't move. He can't move his hands, his feet, or anything. He felt completely... _tied_ _up_. "Ahaha~ nice try, Sansy. Or shall I call you Blueberry?"

"heh, wrong guy, widow," Red's mouth was pulled into a frown. "look, let's jus' go home and figure this out, kay? no need to go kidnapping anybody or nothin'."

"And pass up this opportunity? Ahaha~" Widow's webs crawl up Edge, Red, and Sans' legs. They are all trapped in her web now, unsure of what to do. They would blast her if Papyrus wasn't so close. If they weren't careful, they could end up dusting them both. Obviously, that was a problem. "Now now dears, once I take care of you... it will just be him and I forever~"

Of course, Muffet had other plans. As Widow focused on the skeleton brothers, she started to steadily climb the side of the web. Talking to Edge seemed to completely blow Widow's cool. Of course, that was the actual guy Widow had feelings for. Somehow this Widow either didn't know or didn't think of it, but, purple, sticky magic had no effect on spiders. That's just how the magic took its form. As Widow started to nuzzle Papyrus' cheekbone, Muffet leaped into action and tackled the other spidergirl to the webbing on the other side. They threw punches at each other, but they were able to catch each other's punches quite easily. 

It would seem that Muffet and Widow had similar magic, strengths, and tactics despite having lived what Muffet assumed were mostly different lives. Well, Edge had mentioned that they grew up together in a dump. That was definitely true of Muffet, though Papyrus was not part of the picture until later. Brawling in the garbage was a pass time of poor kids with nothing to do. Still, the first several seconds of this fight were going nowhere. No one had the upper hand, that is until Widow grabbed onto Muffet's hair and pulled. It created enough of an opening when Muffet instinctually went to stop the grab that Widow was able to finally land a punch up Muffet's jaw. Muffet flew backwards and landed on Papyrus' cocoon.

"MISS MUFFET, WATCH OUT!" Papyrus croaked as Muffet ducked. Widow's heel dug into Papyrus' face. "OWIES!"

"Ahaha~ Don't be such a baby, I bet you could take more than that," Widow giggled as she clawed at Muffet with three hands. "Let me put you out of your misery, dear~"

Muffet jumped out of Widow's reach and kept stepping back on the webbing of a wall as Widow pressed her attack. Widow threw punches in a frenzy, and Muffet could swear the other spider suffered from some sort of bloodlust. Was this typical of the Fell folk? What could she do... She eyed Papyrus. Maybe she could- 

WHAM! The moment of distraction gave Widow a chance to punch Muffet right in the chest. Widow laughed as her spiderlings crawled toward them. "I think with that, let's call this lunchtime! Ahahahahaha- huh?" A white bone grew between her and Muffet. Widow looked to see that Papyrus was nearly free from his cocoon. His arm was flung in their direction. "H-How?"

"I think you could call it a home-field advantage, ahuhu~" Muffet giggled as she wiped her mouth of some spittle. She stood up as a cage of bones formed all around Widow. "You aren't the only one with magic and spiders, dearie." 

Little spiders fought all over the alley like a battlefield on a microscale. Many of those spiders were on Papyrus' cocoon and still undoing Widow's webs. Of course, that moment of distraction was all Muffet needed to take control of Sans, Red, and Edge. Purple was as restrictive as the magic user willed it to be, and she wanted her allies to feel as free as ever. Sans, Red, Edge, and Papyrus tightened the bone cage around Widow. 

"I suppose this round goes to me, ahuhu~"

 

With Widow captured and placed into Muffet's care, she needed a skeleton brother with her at all times to help maintain the prison. The arrangement didn't last long, however, as Red finally got off his lazy butt and helped the team of Sans, Felphys, and Alphys fix the machine that brought them to this universe in the first place. Felphys and Red had some interesting tweaks that Sans hadn't considered, which included a way to pinpoint universes. Red had opted to name his world Universe Fell, or UF. Now the machine could be used as a portal between their worlds, and maybe many others too.

The involved monsters all gathered at Sans' not-so-secret-anymore lab. Asgore and Toriel brought tea and pie respectively to mark the occasion with a good-bye. Undyne arm-wrestled with Rat while everyone talked about nerd crap. Felphys and Alphys argued about Kissy Cutie seasons 1 vs 2. Edge and Papyrus nervously kept watching Widow, who was not in a cage for the time being. Instead, it seemed she had calmed down and was enjoying a cup of tea with Muffet. Muffet brought her own baked goods, spider donuts, and shared them with Widow. A couple of days ago they were mortal enemies, and today they were sharing girl talk. Frisk hovered over Sans and Red as they put the finishing touches on the machine.

Some moments:

 

"i think we got it. you should definitely end up back home." Sans wiped sweat from his brow as he spoke. "this has certainly opened my eye sockets."

"heh, you and me both. if widow goes nuts again, i know i can just borrow your muffet. hope ya don't mind, but i copied your schematics on this thing. it's way better than anything i tried buildin'..."

"SANS, ARE WE ABLE TO GO HOME YET? I AM SURE METTATON IS WORRIED SICK ABOUT ME!" Edge crossed his arms and shook his head. "METTATON HAS BEEN WITHOUT ME FOR SO LONG..."

"worried he moved on without you?"

"UGH." 

"Ahuhu~ don't worry about them," Muffet patted Widow on the shoulder, who looked completely dejected. "There are so many fine people out in the world. I am sure there is someone with eyes for you."

 

"Rat, can I tell you something incredibly serious?" Undyne looks her doppelganger in the eye. Rat nods enthuasiastically as she tallies up their arm-wrestling wins. They were tied, of course. "You. Are. My. Best. Friend. EVER!!!"

"OH MY GOD, YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND EVER!" They fist pumped so hard wind whirled around them.

"Ugh, I hate it when my girlfriend is so cute. Now I have to spend time with her to keep her from leaving..." Felphys noted as Alphys simply blushed. "What are you looking at?"

"I ship it," Alphys whispered beneath the laughter of the two Undynes.

"You otakus are disgusting," Felphys sighed.

 

"blue, now that you got this machine, things might get a bit weird for ya. i know my life keeps gettin' weirder ever since i met the last guys like us."

"oh yeah? what were they like?"

"actually, kinda like you and your brother... but... in reverse?"

"reverse?"

"yea, like... if you and your bro swapped personalities, i guess." Sans did his best to imagine this and found it incredibly hard. Papyrus as a laidback loser? Himself as some endlessly positive awesome guy? Impossible. Red must've read Sans' expression because he chuckled and shook his head. "look, none of this shi--crap makes sense. i just can't believe there are so many goodie twoshoe versions of my universe out there. sometimes i wonder we are the only ones not lookin' too hard for that missin' person."

"i nearly forgot about that."

"listen blue, you are gonna wanna be careful 'bout openin' the door to this universe to just anybody. you see my friends and i weren't always so nice... and to be honest, i got a theory."

"theory about what? someone out there edgier than your brother, the lord of edge?"

"heh, good one. but, honestly, i think there's gotta be places out there where things didn't turn out so good. you got that feeling too, right? sometimes, a feeling like you might wake up and find out everybody you care about is dead? well, i trust my gut. i mean, it's bigger than my brain, that's for sure! heh heh heh. besides... that missing guy, well, maybe he's supposed to be gone for a reason."

Frisk, despite themselves, stopped spying in on the conversation. 

 

"WIDOW, ER, MAYBE IT IS RUDE TO CALL YOU THAT STILL?" Papyrus carefully approaches the pair of spider gals. 

"You may call me Widow," the Fell spider nods. "After all, I did ask to be called that... Ahaha~"

"I AM SORRY THAT WE HAD TO MEET UNDER SUCH CIRCUMSTANCES."

"Ahuhu~ how kind of you, Mister Papyrus."

"Ahh, Papyrus, I am the one who is sorry. I have trouble controlling my feelings sometimes, and I shouldn't have taken out my aggression and fears on you."

"I HOPE WE CAN BE FRIENDS?"

"Of course," Widow nodded, "I would like that very much."

"WOWIE! A NEW FRIEND!!" Papyrus beamed at the ladies, then turned to go brag to Frisk about his growing friend count.

"Ahaha~ I am glad you stopped me, Muffet," Widow rested her head on her hand.

"Oh?"

"He is much too sugary for my taste! I prefer a sour treat..." Widow cast a small glance at Edge.

 

"Oh Red, I will miss baking with you," Toriel placed a loving paw on the top of Red's dome. "I still do not fully understand this universe business, but I hope you will come visit a silly old lady like me sometimes."

"oh, uh, oh, yea," Red nodded with a deep blush. Both Asgore and Sans did not find this humerus at all.

 

"Muffet, don't do what I did," Widow sniffed a bit as she looked at Edge from afar. Muffet worried that yandy feeling was going to overtake Widow again. 

"Hmm? Do what?"

"Wait. Ahaha... I waited and Mettaton snatched him up from right under me," Widow looked back and their 5 eyes met. "You might have him now, but you cannot wait for him to make the first move. If your feelings aren't made clear, then you will end up like me. Well... perhaps less foolish, but alone."

"I see," Muffet cast a troubled glance over to Papyrus. 

 

After a delightful, and somewhat awkward lunch, those from UF gathered into the machine. Sans entered in coordinates and stood back as his machine whirled. Just before they all disappeared, Red winked at Sans and said in a cryptic tone, "be careful what you seek."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got excuses, but I am sorry for all this delay. Hard IRL, tho not as hard as others. Writer's block, even though I saw this play out in my head scene by scene, because I wasn't sure how to write any of this out. Sometimes I feel like my writing is shit even if my ideas are good, and I just have to be okay with it. I can't learn how to write well if I don't practice, right? I hope you find some enjoyment knowing this arc has come to a close.
> 
> I can't promise regular updates, but I can say that when I get ideas I will write chapters in this fic. I want to go back to writing cute, fluffy bullshit. I think that's my specialty. =,)
> 
> Thank you guys for being so patient and leaving comments. It might not seem like it means much, but it means so much to me.


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